Lost Love
by JaydenMatthews
Summary: So this is my first time publishing anything so be gentle though reviews and comments welcome. I do not own any characters from Law and Order: SVU. Tyler is the daughter of Olivia and Casey Benson while Riley is the daughter of...can't tell you that yet. What will happen when Tyler and Riley meet and all hell breaks loose? I NEED REVIEWS PRETTY PLEASE! UPDATED! 01-19-2016
1. Tyler Jane Benson

Tyler Jane Benson was your typical eighteen year old girl. It took her over an hour to get ready for school, she played for her schools softball team, she was in advanced classes, and she was extremely giddy. She had shoulder length blonde and black hair (blonde on top and shorter than the black on the bottom), olive skin, deep green eyes, and a love for life like no other. She had a style all her own which usually consisted of tight blue jeans that were covered in holes, band tee shirts, Converse of every color, and never did she go without her eyeliner. She was a beautiful girl with her moms skin tone and her mommas eyes. Her eyes were emerald but they held the ability to pierce a hole through the heart of anyone that she glared at. She had her tongue pierced as well as seven holes in each of her ears and she had already gotten three tattoos. She had a tribal symbol on her lower back, the equality symbol on her left wrist, and an air brushed star behind her right ear.

Tyler was different from most of the other girls that she knew in two ways: she had two mothers, Olivia and Casey Benson, and she herself was a lesbian. She didn't advertise her sexual preference but it was really no secret. She had come out to her moms when she was fourteen and they fully accepted her as she was, even though society really didn't. Olivia was a detective at the local precinct and her wife, Casey, was an ADA. They had fought for a year to get pregnant and when they did, their lives were changed forever. Tyler Jane Benson was born on September 2, 1990 and ever since that day, when her moms looked into her eyes, they knew that their daughter was destined for greatness.

Today was the day that she would start her senior year at Valley High School in Tennessee. This was the day that she had been working her entire life for. This was her year. She seemed to have her entire life planned out and had the support of her mothers. They had always told her that she could do anything and be anything that she wanted to do as long as she worked for it and that was exactly what she planned to do.

This year would be perfect. She was going to be taking mostly advanced placement classes as well as a few of her college classes. She had every intention of going to college to get her basics out of the way while she worked at the local tattoo shop, Deep Ink, as an apprentice. Tyler was no stranger to the world of art as she had taken up drawing at the age of eight and her talents had grown and developed as she aged. She would take her place as the catcher for the Valley High Wildcats as she had been in since she was a freshman. She would work her pretty ass off and she was not going to let anything or anyone get in the way of her plans for her future.

"T.J., it's almost time for you to get going! You don't want to be late for your first day as a senior!" Casey called from the bottom of the stairs.

"Momma, I've been in the kitchen for almost fifteen minutes." Tyler replied from behind her mother.

"Oh, well, I guess you are on top of things then?" Casey asked.

"Better than that, I have a cup of coffee for you and another one for mom. Speaking of her, where is she?"

"I am right here." Olivia called as she made her way down the stairs. "Did I hear something about coffee?"

"Yes ma'am, your cup is on the bar." Tyler answered as she looked down at her phone with a smile on her face.

"Liv, it's only the first day of school and already that phone is more important than us." Casey said to her wife of twenty years.

"We might as well face it, Case, our little girl has grown up and out grown us." Olivia replied.

"You two are impossible. Nothing is more important than the two most important women in my life." she said with a smile. "Oh, by the way, do these jeans make my butt look big?"

"Well, you were blessed with your mom's tail so yes they do." Casey answered with a laugh.

"Excellent." Tyler said with a smirk.

"Tyler Jane Benson, are you already hunting for someone?" Olivia asked in a serious tone.

"Mom, I do not have time for girls and all of the drama that comes with them. However, that doesn't mean I can't flaunt what they can't have." she said with a wink.

"Are you nervous about your first day?" Casey asked in an attempt to change the subject.

"Kind of but in the best way possible. I feel like I am ten feet tall and bullet proof, you know? It's like I am walking around with twenty percent less gravity than everyone else and nothing can bring me down. I am going to kick ass this year!" Tyler answered.

"Watch your language, lady." Olivia said with that look only a mother can give their child.

"Baby, I am so glad you feel that way. That is exactly how you are supposed to feel during your senior year. That is how I felt, anyway." Casey replied.

"Well, I have got to get going. I'm supposed to meet April and Remmie before school." Tyler said.

She finished the coffee in her cup, rinsed it out in the sink, and grabbed her backpack from the floor beside the dining room table. She grabbed the door knob and twisted it but then stopped and released the handle. She turned on her heel and ran over to hug her moms.

"I love you guys." she whispered.

"We love you too, T.J. Now, go give 'em hell kid!" Olivia said.


	2. Valley High School Day One

T.J. Benson pulled into the parking lot of Valley High School in her red Jeep Wrangler and felt higher than she had when she realized after she woke up that today was the day that she was going to finish the high school chapter in her life. She drove across the lot and pulled into the senior section where there were already seven cars parked. She parked her Jeep between a blue Jeep Patriot and a black Jeep Compass. Her friends April and Remmie were standing around waiting on their friend to show up.

"You are almost late! Where in the hell have you been?" April asked in a near shriek.

"Dude, calm down. I had coffee with my mom's this morning. You know how they are when it comes to big things in my life." Tyler answered.

"Your moms are awesome though. I know that your mom is way over protective and your momma is really emotional but they are awesome as hell. I love your moms like they are mine." Remmie said.

"They have basically raised all three of us so in a way they are." April added causing everyone to laugh.

"Did you guys hear what happened? They fired coach Henderson! Apparently he got caught up in some sort of scandal and they fired him! He is gone!" April said loudly.

"Who the hell is going to coach softball this year then? We are supposed to start off season in a month!" Tyler said angrily.

"His replacement is Valerie Carmichael. She has an excellent resume and she coached at a AAA school before she came here." a voice said from behind the girls.

"Am I to assume that you are Valerie Carmichael?" Remmie asked nearly disbelievingly.

"I am coach Carmichael and I assume you three are my catcher, first base, and shortstop?"

"That would be us. April here plays first, Remmie plays short, and I catch. My name is T.J. Benson. I am not going to lie to you Mrs. Carmichael, before you get the honor of being called coach, you have to show us that you are." Tyler said.

"I appreciate your honesty, T.J. Now it's my turn to be honest. Before you get the honor of being called team members, you have to prove that you're players." the blonde woman said before she turned on her heel and walked away.

The three girls watched as the woman walked away before turning to each other with surprised and determined looks on their faces.

"I don't like her and that is not going to go over well. She needs us to prove that we're players? Bet that shit." Tyler said.

"I take it we're starting off season early this year, then?" April asked.

"Lifting, running, fielding, batting... no time like the present. I'll talk to momma about getting us the cages once or twice a week and you know she will be all about practice. Maybe mom can get us some fielding time, too." Tyler said.

"Alright so we have met the new...um...Carmichael and we don't like her and we're gonna hit this shit fast and hard and now we are going to get back to enjoying the first day of our senior year!" April said trying to lighten the mood.

"First day picture?" Remmie asked her friends.

Remmie got the attention of an underclassmen to take their picture. The three of them stood side by side with Tyler in the middle, April to her left, and Remmie to her right. They smiled and the picture was taken.

"You better send me that!" April said.

"You already know I'm sending it to both of you. T.J. you better send it to your moms!"

"Oh, I will. They are probably still sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee and talking about how when I was little."

 _ **Across town at the Benson Residence**_

"Why is she already a senior? She should not be a senior yet! Why is she a senior?" Casey asked nearly hysterically.

"Well, honey, not trying to be a smart ass here but that is what happens when kids grow up. They learn to walk and talk, they learn to spell and add, they learn to write paragraphs and draw pictures, and the next thing you know they are making you coffee on the first day of the last year of school. She just grew up on us." Olivia answered.

"I'm not ready for her to be grown up. I want her to be my baby."

"Case, she will always be your baby. Hell, ten years from now I can see her walking through the door with some heart break or another and the two of you laying on the couch with her head on your lap and you playing in her hair to calm her down the same way you did when she was little."

"Do you really believe that?"

"With all of my heart. She will always be your little slugger and she will always be my world changer. Do you remember what Elliot said the first time he met her?" Olivia asked.

"He said that she had my eyes and heart, and your ears and soul. He said that she would feel everything deeply and that she would defend what she knew was right." Casey answered.

"Exactly. She will always be our baby because she will always have the best parts of each of us in her."

"Liv, graduation is in nine months...what are we going to do for her graduation gift?"

"Casey Benson, you never cease to amaze me. We have nine months to think about that. Right now, you need to think about the fact that I am about to go upstairs, take all of my clothes off and get in the shower." Olivia said with desire in her eyes.

Casey looked back into her wife's chocolate brown eyes and took her by the hand. They ran up the stairs and into the bathroom, shutting the door behind them.

 _ **Valley High School Homeroom**_

"T.J., did you have a good summer? You look like you have been working out every day. You ready for the season to start? Have you met Valerie Carmichael?" a very excited team mate asked Tyler.

"I did have a good summer and yes I have been working out. I have been working out almost every day since ninth grade. How was your summer, Courtney?"

Just as Courtney was opening her mouth to answer, Mr. Holland walked into the classroom.

"Good morning fresh minds and hello to all of my final years. You will be in this room for exactly twenty seven minutes every morning as this is homeroom and after that you go to your real classes. As long as you sit down, keep the volume low, and behave we shall have no issues." he said.

 _ **Valley High School Parking Lot 3:05 pm**_

"So your gonna talk to your moms tonight about finding us a place to practice?" Remmie asked.

"Yeah I am. Me and mom have turned the basement into a small gym so I'll talk to her about it when we work out tonight and I'll talk to momma while we're cooking dinner." Tyler answered.

"Hey guys, day one is officially over!" April yelled excitedly.

 _ **Benson Residence 3:35 pm**_

"Momma, I'm home!" Tyler called when she walked through the front door.

"Hey baby. How was your first day?" Casey asked.

"Well I found out that coach Henderson got fired over the summer and was replaced by a woman named Valerie Carmichael. We met her and none of us like her at all. Home room will probably be my favorite class since I got Mr. Holland this year. He talks so weird but I like him. Me, Remmie, and April have decided to start off season a little early since Mrs. Carmichael says we aren't team mates until we prove that we are and...it was great, momma." Tyler answered in one breath.

"That's good, T.J. Your mom wants us to go out to dinner tonight. She said that she has some sort of surprise for you." Casey replied.

"A surprise, huh? What is it? Before you say that you have no idea I know that you do so just tell me."

"I have been sworn to secrecy. Now, go for your run and get a shower before we go." Casey said with a knowing smile.

"You know me too well." Tyler said as she disappeared from the kitchen.

 _ **Butler Family Diner 6:55 pm**_

"She said that she would meet us here at seven and for us to go in. She has a table ready for us." Casey said.

Tyler and her momma walked into the restaurant and told the guy at the front that they had a table reserved for Benson. He began to lead them to their table at the back of the room when Tyler pushed past him and ran toward the table.

"Uncle Elliot!" she yelled.

"There is my girl!" he said as she ran up to him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I came to see you and your moms. I have missed you guys so much. You are so beautiful, T.J, just like your momma. Where is your mom at in there though?" Elliot asked.

Tyler put her hands up in a fighting stance to which Elliot help up his hands to catch her punches. She did a seven punch combo and smiled as he lowered his hands and started shaking them.

"Oh, there she is." he laughed.

Everyone took their seats, placed their order, and sat around the table talking about Tyler's first day of school as a senior.

"Now, my dearest uncle Elliot, why don't you tell me why you are really here? Are you on a case?"

"Nothing gets past you, T.J. Yes I am here on a case but I am not telling you about it so don't even ask. And yes your mom is working the case with me." he answered.

"What can I say? I've got detective in my blood." Tyler said causing everyone to laugh.

Everyone finished their dinner and made their way out of the diner.

"I'll see you at eight thirty to start going over the case then, Liv?" Elliot asked.

"Yeah, I'll be there." she called out as Elliot turned to leave. "Are you guys ready to get home?" she asked her wife and daughter.

"I am." Casey answered.

Casey and Olivia turned to look to see if their daughter was ready to go and both saw the distraction that had her attention. A black and orange motorcycle had pulled into a parking spot in front of the building. She knew that her momma had a motorcycle at one point in her life and Tyler wanted one but that would never happen. She wanted one like her momma but she also found them just as sexy as her mom did.

The three of them watched as a small figure in black pants and a black leather jacket got off of the bike. The helmet that the rider was wearing was black except for the orange, red, and yellow flames on the back. The figure took the helmet off revealing shorter brown hair, a lip ring, and eyeliner. The rider was a girl, not just any girl, the sexiest girl that Tyler had ever seen.

The brunette turned around to start towards the front entrance of the diner when her eyes caught the emerald green eyes of Tyler who's mouth was slightly open. She stared for a moment before a smirk pulled at the left corner of her lips.

Tyler watched the girl walk until the front door of the diner closed behind her. Olivia and Casey looked from the girl to the motorcycle and then to her daughter. They could see the look in Tyler's eyes as she watched the brunette.

"You are so our daughter." Olivia said playfully.

"Come on, Romeo, let's get you home before somebody manages to sweep you off your feet." Casey added.

"Huh? What are you talking about? Momma did you see that bike? It was beautiful!" Tyler said.

"I'm sure it has nothing to do with the dark haired beauty that got off of the bike." Olivia said.

Tyler blushed and shot her eyes down to the pavement.

"She was sexy as hell and the fact that she was on a bike just made her that much more attractive." Casey said taking her wife by the hand and squeezing it.

"She has a motorcycle, she has mystery, she has a lip ring, and she smirked at me. She looked at me and she smirked. She smirked and it was sexy as hell." Tyler nearly whispered.

"Tell you what, you wait here and I'll go ask for her name and number." Olivia said as she turned to go back to the diner.

"You will not! I was right this morning, you two really are impossible!" Tyler said before getting into her mother's Dodge Charger and closing the door. She pulled her phone from her pocket and selected Remmie and April's names

"I just saw the sexiest woman alive!" she texted them.

"You saw Ruby Rose?" Remmie replied.

"You saw Alex Vause?" April replied.

"Um...April, Alex Vause is a character in a T.V show and no. Remmie, no I didn't see Ruby Rose. I have no idea who this girl was and I will probably never see her again but she smirked at me and I swear if my mom's had not been right there, I would have pushed her into the alley." Tyler replied.

"Are you going to find out who she is?" April asked.

"I will probably never see her again so what's the point?"

"Well that's depressing but true. Work out tomorrow? Run after school?" Remmie asked.

"Yes to both. Momma said she loves you guys. See you in the morning." Tyler said.

"Love her too. Night T.J." the two girls answered.

"I don't know who you are, where you came from, or where you're going but damnit I wish I did." Tyler thought to herself.


	3. The New Kid on the Block

_**Valley High School December 19, 2007**_

Tyler sat in her homeroom class impatiently waiting for the bell to ring. She had been studying for this calculus test for two weeks and she was just mere minutes away from owning that shit. She could not believe the focus that she had developed this year. Off season had started in November at the school and she was in the top three team mates in every category, she was running everyday rain or shine, eating more protein than she ever had before, working out at school and at home, holding a 2.7 GPA, and keeping up her home and social life. This year was going so much better than she could have imagined. She was so very focused on the important things in her life and there was nothing that could distract her...or so she thought.

There was a knock on the classroom door that caused Tyler to look up from her calculus book that she was using for a last minute study guide. The principle walked into the room with a new student walking along behind her.

"Mr. Holland you have a new student joining your class today. Everyone this is Riley Westbrook." Mrs. Jackson announced.

Tyler could not believe her eyes. Standing ten feet in front of her was a girl that had short, emo styled dark brown hair, eyeliner that was applied darker than most girls would use, a lip ring on the left side of her lips, baggy worn out jeans, an AC/DC tee shirt under a black and white button down, and a pair of orange and black converse. There wasn't a girl in that class room that didn't question their sexuality when they looked at the girl standing at the front of the room. But this was not the first time that Tyler Benson had seen this girl. This was the girl that rode the black and orange motorcycle to Butler's Diner and smirked at her. Just like before at the diner, Tyler's mouth hung open slightly at the all over sex appeal of this mystery girl.

"May I be permitted to see your schedule, Ms. Westbrook?" Mr. Holland asked the new girl.

"It's Riley and yeah, sure." Riley replied.

The man looked over the piece of paper that Riley handed him and then looked over the top of his glasses at her. His gaze jumped from the new girl to Tyler.

"Ms. Benson, it would appear that Riley has some of the same classes that you are in. Would you mind showing her around today?" He asked.

"I don't mean to sound arrogant sir, but I'm fairly certain that I can find my way around." Riley objected.

"Tardies are unacceptable in Valley High, Ms. Westbrook. I suggest that you accept the assistance given to you."

Just as he was giving her his best teacher glare the bell rang. The students all got up from their desks and crowded around the door to get out into the hallway. All of the students except for Tyler Benson who was still sitting at her desk with her mouth slightly open. Upon seeing this, Riley smirked at her again.

" _This is the second time that she has smirked at me. Damn that is sexy as hell. This is the second time I have felt the urge to push her in the closest dark area."_ Tyler thought to herself.

Riley smiled to herself as she started walking over to the blonde girl still sitting in her desk.

"Hello there. I'm Riley Westbrook. You must be Tyler Benson." Riley said as she extended her hand.

"How did you know who I am?"

"Just a lucky guess I guess." Riley answered smiling again.

Tyler reached up and took the brunette's hand but was quick to release it as she felt an electrical surge from the touch. She looked up at Riley in surprise. Their eyes locked. The green eyes stared curiously into the brown eyes as the stared back confidently into the green.

"Girls, you are going to be late." Mr. Holland said from behind his opened newspaper.

The girls walked out into the hallway and stopped outside of the door. Tyler looked over at Riley but refused to make eye contact again. Locking eyes with the brunette sent shivers down her spine and she was afraid that her legs would not be able to take that again today.

"Your second class is calculus. That is down the hallway to the right and the first door on the right. We are supposed to have a test today but I'm sure that Mrs. Browning won't make you take it as this is your first day." Tyler said quietly.

"She can have me take it if she wants. I was taking all of the same classes at my old school and I'm sure the curriculum is about the same." Riley answered.

The two girls started walking down the hallway side by side. This caught the attention of Remmie and April and Tyler noticed their suggestive stares. As she and Riley walked past them, she turned her head back to her friends and mouthed "Oh my damn".

"So, where did you go to school before you transferred here?" Tyler asked.

"Just a small school out of state. Trust me when I tell you that I do not miss it and I have no intention of ever going back." Riley answered.

"What do you do in your spare time?" Tyler asked.

"Work out, play guitar, sing, run, write, and maybe cause a little trouble. Just your typical teenager bullshit."

Tyler felt her heart beat hard in her chest. _"She works out like I do, she plays guitar and sings, she is a writer, she rides a motorcycle, and she is sexy as hell. Damnit it girl!"_ Tyler thought to herself as the approached the classroom.

Riley smirked to herself again as she held the door open for her guide.

"Thank you." Tyler nearly whispered.

 _ **Valley High School; Lunch Hour**_

"Tyler, bring your friend over here and sit down!" April called from their usual table.

Tyler led Riley to the table and was surprised when the brunette did not take her seat until she herself was sitting.

"What is your name? Where do you come from? How old are you? Are you into girls? Are you single?" Remmie asked excitedly.

"Remmie Elisabeth Parker!" Tyler said in an angry tone.

"Dude, I need to know about her. Have you looked at her? Have you not heard everything that everybody is saying about her?"

"What are they saying? I haven't heard anything."

"I bet you haven't." April said under her breath causing Tyler to throw a french fry at her.

"My name is Riley Westbrook. I just moved here from out of state. I am eighteen. Yes I am into girls and yes I am single. Now, what is it that everyone is saying about me?" The brunette asked.

"Only that you are the small town Ruby Rose. You are the girl that can turn straight girls into lesbians or at least have them questioning themselves. I heard that you have a motorcycle and that you got expelled from your last school so you had to move out of state to find a school that would take you." April answered excitedly and curiously.

"Your school must not get many new people." Riley replied with a smile.

"We get a one or two every few years." Remmie answered. "Are you going to tell us your story or not?"

"Actually I think keeping everyone curious will work out better for me." she answered with that smirk.

"Riley my friends have apparently lost their minds to the point that they could plead temporary insanity in a court of law. This dork is Remmie Parker and the ditz over there is April Kennedy." Tyler introduced as she pointed to her friends.

"Court of law?" Riley asked in a confused tone.

"Tyler's mom is an assistant district attorney. She knew how to speak lawyer before she learned to speak regular English." April joked.

"It's nice to meet you both. If I may be so bold, what are your stories?"

"Well, all three of us were raised here and we grew up together. We all met in kindergarten and just clicked. We have all been best friends ever since. Remmie can't make up her mind whether she is gay or straight and she just refused to be bi. She is the short stop of the Valley High Wildcats. She broke the batting average record as a freshmen and she still holds the title. April has been dating Cassie over there since sophomore year but they break up at least once every two weeks. She came out to her parents when she was sixteen and then she came to stay with me for a week until they cooled down enough to let her come home. She is the first basemen for the Valley High Wildcats. She broke the RBI record freshmen year and she still holds the title. I am currently single and I have been since sophomore year. I met a girl, we got together, she broke my heart and now I do not have time for girl drama. I catch for the Wildcats and I have since freshmen year. I hold the record for most fights during the game and I doubt anyone will ever break that record. Remmie is jersey number 6, April is number 8, and I am number 9. It has been that way since freshmen year when we were made team captains and it will stay that way." Tyler explained.

"Wait, so you're all gay?" Riley asked.

"Really, dude? All you got out of everything she said was the fact that all three of us as lesbians?" Remmie asked as she laughed.

"Well, yeah. Being gay or a lesbian is not something that one advertises where I come from. If the right group finds out that you are it's an ass beating."

"Where the hell did you come from?" April asked.

Riley seemed to ponder this question much longer than needed. The three other girls watched as she got lost in her own mind. Her eyelids were open as she stared down at the table. After about thirty seconds she finally answered.

"Hell..."

 _ **Valley High School; Senior Parking Lot; 3:05 p.m**_

"Do we plan on working out over Christmas break or are we actually going to take a holiday?" Remmie asked.

When Tyler didn't answer, April and Remmie looked at their friend to see what her distraction was. They could see that her eyes were locked in one direction: Riley.

"Why don't you just go talk to her?" April asked as she put her chin on the blonde's shoulder.

"What? Why would I do that? I don't have anything special to say." Tyler answered quickly.

"I think you do, you just don't know how to say it. T.J., we can both see the attraction when you look at one another. It's beyond obvious. I think you need to go talk to her. Invite her for a cut of coffee at Butler's or something." Remmie suggested.

"You think she would say yes if I asked her?" Tyler asked.

"I think that she would be an absolute idiot if she didn't." April answered with a smile.

Tyler smiled back at her friends before taking a deep breath of the cold December air and walking across the senior lot.

"Um...Riley?"

"Tyler Benson, have you not gotten enough of me today?" Riley asked with a small smile.

"I could ne...um...no. Actually I was wondering if you wanted to go to Butler's to get a cup of coffee?"

"Oh, um...well I can't."

Tyler looked down at her feet in disappointment though she refused to let it show on her face as she faked her best smile.

"Oh, that's alright. Maybe another time then." she said before turning on her heel to walk back towards her friends.

Riley grabbed Tyler by her wrist and turned her around quickly as she pulled her closer to her own body. Tyler had no idea that a car was pulling out of the lot and she had nearly walked right out in front of it.

"Are you trying to get yourself killed?" Riley asked.

Tyler could not make her mouth work. There were five million words bouncing around in her mind but she could not get them to pass her lips. She could feel Riley's arms around her shoulders and the warmth of her body and she could smell her cologne.

"Tyler? Tyler!"

"What?" Tyler finally answered.

"Are you alright?" Riley asked as she pushed the blonde away from her body gently and looked down into her green eyes.

"I...am...wonderful..." Tyler managed to say.

Riley smirked at her and then released her grip around the blonde's shoulders.

"You didn't give me the chance to finish. I can't get coffee at Butler's because I work there but I heard that there is a coffee shop down by the police station that is pretty good. How about tomorrow around ten?"

"I will be there." Tyler answered with a smile that spread all the way across her face.

 _ **Benson Residence; 5:45 p.m.**_

"Um...momma...I was wondering..." Tyler was cut off by the sound of the front door opening and closing.

"T.J.? Case? I'm home." Olivia called out.

"In the kitchen!" Casey called back. "What's on your mind T.J?"

"Nothing that can't wait. No worries." Tyler answered.

Olivia walked into the kitchen and put her coat on the hanger beside the back door.

"Something smells amazing. I take it we are having Italian tonight?" she asked as she opened the refrigerator for a drink.

"Yes we are. How was your day?" Casey asked.

"Well, we think we may have a lead on Elliot's case but Cragen sent us all home for the night to rest up for questioning tomorrow. Which reminds me, we are going to be needing a warrant for the home of..."

"Liv, T.J. is in the room. We can talk about it later." Casey interrupted.

"Right. How was school today, T.J?"

"Same as any other day, I guess." she answered staring at the floor.

"Tyler Jane Benson, you do remember that I am a detective and I know when you are lying to me, right?"

"Okay, fine. Do you remember the girl from Butler's the night we ate with uncle Elliot? Well, she started school today and we ate lunch together and she and I are going to have coffee at Joe's tomorrow at ten." Tyler whispered the last part of her sentence.

"Excuse me? You are going to do what? What is her name? How old is she? Who are her parent's?" Olivia asked in her over protective mother state of mind.

"We are going to have coffee tomorrow morning at Joe's at ten. She is eighteen and she is a senior. I don't know who her parents are because we didn't get that far today. Her name is Riley Westbrook." Tyler answered.

Without a seconds hesitation, Olivia pulled her cell phone out of her back pocket and pushed two buttons.

"Who are you calling?" Casey asked.

Olivia held her first finger up to her wife signaling for her to wait a minute.

"Cragen, it's Liv. I need you to run a check on one Westbrook comma Riley. No middle name and no parent names. No I don't think she has anything to do with the case but she does want to have coffee with T.J. in the morning. Alright, I'll be waiting for your call." Olivia said and then flipped her phone closed.

"Did you really have to call the captain on this?" Tyler asked.

"T.J. you can never be too careful these days. Cragen has been like a father to me for a long time and he is basically your grandfather. So, to answer your question, yes I did."

"Liv, it is just coffee." Casey intervened.

"Yes and she is our only daughter. I will not be too careful with her. Cragen will run a general check in the system and see what comes up. Now, let's sit and eat and see what he comes up with."

"I'm not hungry." Tyler said before turning on her heel and walking towards the stairs.

Olivia and Casey stood in the kitchen silently until they heard their daughter's bedroom door close.

"You didn't have to call Cragen . Tyler has never done anything to make us not trust her and after her sophomore heartbreak, I know that she has been extra careful. She wouldn't agree to go if she thought that this girl couldn't be trusted." Casey said.

"Case, I worry about her and you every second of everyday. That will never change. You saw the look in her eyes that night at Butler's and you saw the look on this Riley's face. She may be trouble and I would like a heads up if she is."

"What makes you think that she could be trouble?"

"She has a lip ring and she probably has tattoos. She has a motorcycle and a cocky smirk. She is an eighteen year old girl."

"Oh, so she has a lip ring and possible tattoos just like your daughter? She has a motorcycle and a cocky smirk like your wife had? She is eighteen but so is Tyler."

"Case, I cannot let anything happen to her. If something happened and I didn't do this I would never be able to forgive myself. You and T.J are my reasons for breathing. I cannot lose you or her." Olivia said softly.

"Liv, it's just coffee." Casey said with a small smile. "You and I had coffee five hundred times before we even realized how we felt about each other not to mention several drinks at the bar."

"Casey, we had known each other for over a year not one day. Coffee is one thing but if this delinquent thinks that she is going to take my little girl for drinks I will end her." Olivia said.

"Olivia Benson, I love you and how protective you are of our daughter but she needs this. She is finally over Erin and she is in the process of opening herself up again. Give her this, for me." Casey said softly as she wrapped her arms around her wife.

"Fine, but you can bet I'll be watching. Joe's is right by the precinct and I fully intend to be a part of this...coffee."

 _ **Benson Residence; Tyler's Room; 7:15 p.m.**_

"T.J, can I come in?" Olivia asked as she knocked on the bedroom door.

"Sure." Tyler called from the other side.

Olivia opened the door and eased across the threshold.

"I guess you are pretty upset with me? That is justified. I made an ass of myself and then I did it again when you came up here." she tried to lighten the mood but just received stares from her daughter.

"Tyler, I know that you are a good kid and I need you to know that this is not about trusting you. I don't know this girl and she hasn't proven herself trustworthy yet. Cragen didn't find anything on her in the system so that's a point or two in her direction."

"Mom, when Erin pulled her shit and broke my damn heart, I decided that I was done with girls. I was done with dating and looking and opening up and all of it. When I saw Riley at the diner that night, it was the first time I had really looked at a girl in nearly two years. She looks like a rock star but she is respectful and polite. She didn't sit down at lunch today until after I did. I think that I could really like her but I need to get to know her first." Tyler interrupted.

"T.J, when Erin pulled her shit, I was ready to hunt her down and hurt her. Your mother finally convinced me that was not a good idea. Actually she threatened to not be here when I got back if I left. I cannot explain how much it broke my heart to see you hurting that badly. I just don't want you to be hurt like that again."

"How can I know if I don't give Riley the chance? How would you have know if you hadn't given momma the chance?" Tyler asked.

"Are you sure you don't want to be a lawyer?"

"I'm sure."

 _ **Joe's Coffee Corner; 10:15 a.m.**_

"So, you said that you, Remmie, and April all play softball?" Riley asked.

"Hell yes. Softball is a passion that the three of us share. I've been around the game my whole life since my momma played. She doesn't much anymore but she does go to the cages with me." Tyler answered.

"Are you aware that your eyes glow when you talk about softball?"

"Um...no...I wasn't."

"Well, you do. What else are you passionate about?"

"Why don't we mix things up and talk about you?" Tyler asked with a touch of hope in her voice.

"You want to talk about me...well what do you want to know?" Riley asked with a smile.

"Well, let's see... I know that your name is Riley Westbrook and that you are from out of state. You have piercings and drive a motorcycle. You work at Butler's diner and apparently you are the sexiest thing that Valley High has ever seen."

"I don't think I would go that far." Riley said with a smile.

"Oh, I would. Have you seen you? Um...well...yeah...you said that you moved here from out of state. What state did you move here from?"

"I came here from all over. I have moved twelve times since I was five years old."

"Can I ask why?"

"When I was five, I was abandoned at a mall in Florida. I was put in foster care and moved all over the place. I aged out in August and I moved here. I needed a new place and new people and a new life."

"So you moved to small town USA to be by yourself; to start over?"

"That's right. It was said that I would never get out on my own and that I would never do anything or get anywhere. Well, I'm here now, on my own and I'm still in school and will graduate in May. I play guitar and I sing and I bought my bike with my own money. I work and I pay my bills for my own place. I live on my own, work for myself, and I learn from my past mistakes."

"That was beautiful."

"Thank you." Riley said softly.

"I'd love to hear you play and sing. You are good, right?" Tyler asked in an attempt to lighten the mood.

"Well, I think I'm good but I'll let you judge for yourself." Riley replied with the smirk that Tyler found so sexy.

Tyler looked past Riley and saw Elliot and Olivia walking towards the coffee shop.

"My mother and uncle are heading our way. They are both detectives and you are probably fixing to get grilled." she said quickly.

Riley didn't say anything in response to Tyler, she just smiled and winked her.

"Hey T.J. You're up kind of early for a no school day." Elliot called as he and Olivia crossed the street.

"I'm sure you two just decided to have coffee here as you knew that I would be here, right?" Tyler asked.

"You know an investigation had to be done, honey." he replied.

"And you must be Riley Westbrook?" Olivia asked.

"Yes ma'am. It's a pleasure to meet you." Riley answered as she extended her hand.

Olivia shook Riley's hand and the Elliot did the same.

"I hear you just started at Valley High?" Elliot asked.

"Yes, sir. I just moved into the area. I started at Valley High yesterday when I met Tyler, Remmie, and April. They have been awesome guides at school. I don't really know much about the area so making friends and getting out has been amazing."

"Where do you live?"

"I have a small one bedroom on Glendale Drive. It isn't much but it's mine. I work at Butler's diner to pay bills and I attend Valley High school to better my education."

"Who are your parents?"

"Mom!"

"No, it's alright. My birth parents are unknown. I haven't looked for them. The way I see it is, they gave me up so clearly they didn't want me. Why should I try to find someone that didn't want me?"

Olivia was silent as she stared at the girl standing in front of her.

"Do you have any siblings?"

"Yes I do. I have ten brothers and twelve sisters. They have a tendency to add up when you spend thirteen years in foster care."

"You were in the system?" Olivia asked quietly.

"Yes, ma'am. I aged out in August and then I moved here to make a life for myself."

"T.J, can I speak to you for a minute?" Elliot asked as he saw the look in his partner's eyes.

Tyler and Elliot went inside the building to get coffee for himself and Olivia.

"When did you go into foster care?" she asked Riley.

"Nineteen ninety five. I was abandoned at a mall in Florida. I was found in a dumpster three days after I was born and now I'm here. I don't mean to pry but why do you look like I just shot your dog?" Riley asked softly.

"Just thinking is all. Are you sure that you have no idea who your biological parents are?"

"Yes, ma'am I am sure. I thought for a while about finding them but I can't make myself do it."

"Why not?"

"What if they don't want to see me? What if they do? What if they forgot about me completely? What if they want me in their lives? What if they have missed me every single day? What if they do want to see me? There are too many uncertainties to go down that road."

"I understand completely."

Elliot and Tyler walked out of the building and over to Olivia and Riley.

"Liv, you ready to get back to work?" Elliot asked.

"Yeah. Let's go." she answered. "I look forward to seeing you again, Riley." she said turning to the younger brunette.

"It was nice to meet you, Riley. T.J, try to behave." Elliot said to the younger girls and then turned to catch up to his partner.

"Well, they're pretty nice." Riley said as she put her arm around Tyler's shoulders.

"That was not as bad as I thought it would be. Now...back to me hearing your music." she replied with a grin.

"Why did you bail like that? That is not like you, Liv." he said with a concerned tone.

"Elliot, I know who Riley's mother is." Olivia said and then looked into his eyes with tears in her own.


	4. Christmas Break

_**1205 Glendale Drive**_

Riley gave Tyler a ride to her one bedroom house on the back of her motorcycle and the blonde enjoyed every second of it. They pulled into a gravel driveway and the bike come to a stop. Riley pushed out the kick stand, helped Tyler off of the back, and then she got of the bike. The house was very small and not very attractive on the outside. The yard, though small, was clean but the house itself was...trashy. Tyler looked at the house with a blank expression on her face as she did not want to offend the brunette.

"I know that it doesn't look like much on the outside but in my defense I had my work cut out for me on the inside and I decided that was the most pressing thing. When I first moved in the place was a complete wreck. There were drafts coming in from a hole around the hot water heater and from the floor under the carpet, the walls were covered in nicotine stains, the walls were grungy and had some mystery spots all over them, and the carpet was a dirt brown color." Riley explained. "I have worked my non-existent ass off to make this place livable and after two weeks, I can live here comfortably and I'm not afraid to invite people over."

Riley could see that the blonde was unsure about going in but as the air was cold and she was slowing pulling into her jacket, the brunette decided that it would be safer to go inside the house. Riley smiled to herself as she gently grabbed the hand of the blonde and her entire body tensed.

"Why don't you come inside before I have to get a hair dryer and an extension cord to thaw your ass out?" the brunette asked jokingly.

"Um...yeah...sure." Tyler answered quietly.

The two girls walked up the mulch path to the front steps which were made of cinderblocks and onto the front porch. Riley got her keys out of her jacket pocket and had to hit the door with her shoulder to get it open. Finally the stubborn door opened and the two of them entered the house and the brunette closed the door behind them.

Tyler shook the cold off of herself and she shed her jacket as Riley did the same thing. The brunette took Tyler's jacket and hung it beside her own on a coat rack on the wall behind the door. It took the nervous girl a moment before she had her mind about her and she finally began taking in her surroundings.

It was obvious that they were standing in the living room as there was a black leather couch and matching love seat. The couch was on the far wall and sat in front of two side by side windows while the love seat sat caddy cornered to the right of the couch. Between the couch and the love seat was a small, round, wooden table with a very elegant looking lamp sitting on it and on the other end of the couch was a matching table and lamp. In front of the couch was a long, oval shaped table of the same color and style of the two smaller tables only the big table was a clutter fuck of papers, pens, pencils, an eraser, and a pair of ear buds. The windows were covered with blinds and maroon colored curtains, the walls were paneling but shined as though they had recently been glossed, and the carpet was an off white color and very soft unlike Riley had explained only moments before. There was an entertainment center holding a television, DVD player, a play station system, and three shelves of movies on the wall opposite of the couch. All in all the room was warm and the environment was very home like.

"I know that this isn't much but it's mine." Riley said softly.

"It is everything because it is yours." Tyler replied with a smile.

Once again, the brown and the green eyes locked in a curious and confident gaze. They both stood there for what seemed to them like forever simply looking into one another's eyes until Tyler looked away and smiled to herself.

"Aren't you supposed to be proving to me that you can sing and play the guitar or something?" she asked jokingly.

"Oh, right, I am. Okay, so have a seat and make yourself at home. I'm gonna go get my Gibson and my amp. I'll be right back." Riley said nervously.

The brunette disappeared down the hallway to the left of the living room as the blonde took a seat on the leather couch. She looked down at the mess on the table but didn't think it polite to snoop. It only took about four seconds for her curiosity to get the better of her and she looked down reading the words that were written on the papers. She saw songs, poems, quotes, and doodles all over the place. A noise in the hall caused her to jump back onto the couch like she had been sitting there the whole time and not reading Riley's private words.

Riley walked into the living room and placed her amp on the floor while her other hand held a black and silver Gibson L6S. She got herself set up and then turned to the blonde. Her breath caught in her throat when she saw Tyler sitting with one leg tucked under her body and the other stretched out on the couch. Her hair hung down in her face and her shirt had raised just enough to see a bit of olive skin around her hips. Riley shook her head to get her mind out of the gutter causing Tyler to smile nervously.

"Was there something in particular that you wanted to hear, Ms. Benson?" Riley asked.

"Well, I think I want to hear you play first and then I want to hear you sing."

"I think I have the right song for this situation."

With that, Riley took the pick from under the strings and strummed her Gibson once. She started playing "Thunderstruck" and she didn't stop until the song was finished. Tyler watched with her mouth slightly open and her eyes opened wide.

 _"She plays the fucking guitar. She owns the fucking guitar. She nods her head with the beat, she moves her hands so smoothly, she is a goddess."_ Tyler thought to herself as she clapped for the brunette.

"Now I want you to sing for me. Do you have a song for that?"

"I think that I do."

Riley put her Gibson down on its stand and grabbed an acoustic from behind her entertainment center. She threw the strap over her shoulder and began strumming as she walked over to the couch where Tyler was sitting up now.

"This is my fight song

Take back my life song

Prove I'm alright song

My power's turned on

Starting right now I'll be strong

I'll play my fight song

And I don't really care if nobody else believes

'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me." she sang as she strummed the guitar.

"Holy shit..." the blonde said when Riley finished the song.

"Does that mean you think that I'm good?"

"You are so much more than good! You are amazing! Where did you learn to sing and play like that? I swear you could single handedly stop New York rush hour traffic with your voice!"

"Thank you. I have always loved to sing. Even when I was little I would walk around singing songs from The Little Mermaid. I started playing guitar when I was twelve and I have been playing ever since."

"Riley Westbrook, I want to know your story if you're willing to tell me." Tyler said as she looked deeply into the brown eyes of the singer.

"I haven't ever really told anyone about my life. It isn't something that is bright and happy so I just keep it to myself. I was found in a shoe box in a park here in Tennessee when I was three days old and when my birth parents couldn't be located, I was put in the care of a woman who took in abandoned babies. When I was five years old I was sent to live with a foster family in Florida but they disappeared about two weeks later and left me at the mall in town. I bounced around different foster homes until this year. I've lived in Tennessee, Florida, Arkansas, Missouri, and Mississippi. Right before I aged out of the system, I was living in Arkansas with one of the best foster parents that I was ever with. I got bounced around so much because I was labeled as a bad kid when in reality I was lashing out because of the situations in which I was living. I have been hit, kicked, molested, and locked away from the world but I don't ponder my past life because I survived and I made it here. When I made it here, I met you and Remmie and April and that made me glad that I chose this place."

"Why did meeting us make you happy that you chose this shit hole?"

"Well, it wasn't really meeting you three, it was more meeting you. I'm not going to lie to you, Tyler, I have been called everything from a heartbreaker to a home wrecker. I get in relationships that don't last very long and then I bail. I have commitment and trust issues. I am a mess in every sense of the word but that doesn't stop me from trying to be a good person now that I am on my own. When I first saw you at the diner, I was almost star struck. You are easily the most beautiful girl that I have ever seen. I saw you looking at me with that deer in the headlights look and I couldn't help but to smile. It was almost unreal that someone like you would even look at someone like me. I like you, Tyler. I like how your eyes glow when you talk about softball and how you stare at me when you think I'm not looking. I like the way you hold on around my waist when you're on the bike and how you tried to brace me for the attack by your mom and uncle. I want to be with you but I don't want to hurt you. You can't say that I won't because hurting people is just what I do."

"I want to be with you, too. I have been hurt very badly by someone that I thought I loved and loved me. I hadn't even looked at a girl until I saw you that night and when you showed up at school I thought I was going to go into cardiac arrest. I know that there is a possibility that you will hurt me but that is a possibility that comes with everyone no matter their history." Tyler replied.

"Who was it that hurt you so badly?" Riley asked.

"During my sophomore year of school, I was dating this girl named Erin. We were together for nine months and I was head over heels for her. I was trying to find the courage to tell her that I loved her when I caught her in bed with Remmie who was misinformed that Erin and I had split. See, Erin had this way of manipulating people and she did just that to one of my best friends. I forgave Remmie but I will never forgive Erin. I haven't spoken to her since that night. She and her parents moved somewhere at the end of that school year. My moms tried so hard to be supportive and comforting but nothing helped. My mom wanted to beat the shit out of Erin but apparently my momma told her that if she left we would be gone when she got back."

"Your mom and your momma? You have two moms?" Riley asked in a confused tone.

"Yes I do. My mom you met at Joe's. Her name is Olivia Benson and she is a detective for the sex crimes division at the precinct. My momma is Casey Benson and she is the assistant district attorney for the same precinct. They worked together for three years before either of them grew the balls to tell the other how they really felt. One year later they were married and a year after that I was born by a miracle. There was an experimental insemination thing where an egg is extracted from both females and merged into a single egg. The donor's sperm is injected and then the egg is implanted in one of the females; my momma." Tyler explained.

"That sounds extremely complicated." Riley said with a small smile.

"Well, apparently there were only ten successful impregnations throughout the entire experiment. I am a very rare breed." Tyler smile proudly.

"So, what about the guy from the coffee shop?"

"That is my uncle Elliot. He worked with my moms before they moved south. He and my mom were partners and he was the one that convinced them to be honest with each other about how they felt. My mom sees him as a brother therefore he is my uncle. I also have an uncle Fin, uncle Munch, and then there is Captain Cragen. The captain was like a father to my mom and he is the closest thing that I have to a grandfather since my momma's dad died before I was born."

"Your whole family consists of police officers, lawyers, and detectives?"

"Yeah, you think my mom and uncle were bad? You just wait until you meet the rest of them. The captain is gonna own your ass." the blonde joked.

"Can I at least have a little time to prepare before you throw me to the protectors of the law? I haven't exactly been the poster child for good behavior in the past."

"What do you mean?" Tyler asked curiously.

"Well, I was arrested in Arkansas for fighting, Florida for theft, Mississippi for underage drinking, and Missouri for misconduct. I have yet to be arrested in Tennessee and I plan to keep it that way."

"That's why Cragen didn't find anything on you in the system." Tyler said under her breath but Riley heard her.

"Who did what?" Riley asked.

"Oh, um, my mom called Cragen when she found out that we were going to have coffee and she got him to run a general background check on you. See, since my family is made up of law enforcement, they are all very protective of me."

"Did anything come up?"

"If anything had shown up, I would not be sitting here right now."

"Well, that's good. I am really glad that you are sitting here right now."

"Me too."

"Tyler, would you dance with me?"

"But there isn't any music."

"I'll make the music if you will dance with me."

Tyler smiled and took the hand of the brunette as she stood from the couch and was led to the middle of the living room. Riley put her right hand on the blonde's hip and held her left hand up for Tyler to take her position.

 _"This cannot be real? Is this real? Am I dreaming? Am I really standing in the living room of the sexiest girl I have ever seen? Is she really dancing with me? Does she really have her hand on my waist? Holy shit! Holy fuck! Holy fucking shit! Damnit she smells so good. I want to look in her eyes. Can I look in her eyes? What if I get lost in them and can't find my way back? Oh, what an adventure that would be!"_ Tyler thought to herself as she felt her body swaying in the control of the brunette.

 _"What in the hell have I gotten myself into? Move to a new place, make a life for yourself, get a job, finish school, and make no fucking connections! Why is this so fucking hard for you? You just had to go and sweep this girl off of her feet, didn't you? She told you that she had been hurt very badly and you know that you are just going to do it again. She doesn't know who you really are. What happens when they find out that you're seeing someone? You have put her in the worst position possible and you fucking know it!"_ Riley though to herself as she sang and led the blonde in the dance.

"Tyler...I...I...I really don't want to hurt you. You told me that you had been hurt by someone that you thought was a love situation and you don't deserve to be hurt ever again. I know that just because you don't deserve it doesn't mean it won't happen but I sure as hell do not want to be the one that hurts you." Riley said nervously.

"Riley, at this point I would rather take the chance of being hurt by you than not taking the chance at all. You make me feel different. When I first shook your hand I swear tingles shot from my fingertips to my shoulders. I know that you believe that you will hurt me but I don't see that as a guarantee. Yes, you may very well shatter what is left of my heart but I would rather have happy moments like this to look back on instead of longing stares from across the room. I am not generally a chance taker but I am taking a chance on you."

"You are a stubborn ass, you know that?" Riley asked with a smirk.

"And you are a cocky bitch. We all have our quirks." Tyler replied through a laugh.

The two of them danced while Riley sang 'Use Somebody', 'Titanium', and 'Never Gonna Be Alone' before they decided that they should get the blonde home. Riley was not all about the idea of a very pissed off lawyer momma, an over protective detective mom, three detective uncles with blood on their minds, and one captain grandpa that already didn't trust her knocking in her front door in search of their missing baby girl.

Riley gave Tyler a ride home on the motorcycle on the condition that they were to see each other again the next morning for coffee at Joe's. The blonde got off the back of the bike and was soon followed by the brunette.

"This was fun. I had a really good time." Riley said as she stood awkwardly with no clue how to end the night.

"It was fun. I'm actually looking forward to what adventures tomorrow will bring for us." Tyler answered looking just as awkwardly.

"Um...Tyler..."

"Yes?"

"I have no idea what I'm supposed to do next."

"I don't either."

"You both say good night, T.J. goes in the house, and you go home." a male voice said from a shadowed area of the front porch.

"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. Good night, Tyler. I'll see you in the morning." Riley said and then mounted her motorcycle after she discretely kissed the back of the blonde's hand.

Tyler found herself speechless yet again and watched as the girl who could very easily steal her heart rode away.

 _ **Joe's**_ _**Coffee Corner 9:45 a.m.**_

Riley sat at a table outside of the building sipping on her vanilla caramel coffee when she felt a pair of hands on her shoulders. The brunette's entire body tensed and her breath stuck in her lungs.

"Good morning, Ms. Westbrook." a female voice said from behind her.

When the hands lifted from her shoulders, she turned her head to see a red headed woman that she did not recognize. The woman walked around to the other side of the table and sat down in the unoccupied chair.

"Can...can...can I help you, Mrs..." Riley began.

"No need for formalities just yet, Riley. You see I have come to learn some things about you as of late and I find them all very interesting. I see that you have gotten close to a girl and that you have gotten into a new school. All very good things for you to be doing, Riley. You survived your first encounter with detective Stabler and detective Benson. I commend you on that. Now you need to survive your first encounter with ADA Benson." the red haired woman said with a smile and then removed her sunglasses.

Riley instantly recognized those green eyes and smiled as she released the breath that she had been holding.

"Mrs. Benson, it's an honor to meet you. Tyler has told me about you but she failed to mention that you were going to scare the hell out of me."

"Momma, you cannot kill her by giving her a heart attack. I just found her and I would like to keep her around for a while longer." Tyler called as she walked toward the table with two coffee cups in her hands.

"Good morning, Tyler." Riley said as she stood and pulled out a chair for the blonde.

"Good morning, rock star." Tyler replied with a smile.

"You are polite, respectful, musically gifted according to T.J., and from what I have been told you are the sexiest girl that has ever attended Valley High School." Casey said.

"Polite, yes. Respectful, yes. Musically gifted, kind of. As for the rest, I don't think so." Riley replied.

"Well you are very cute in that emo boy next door kind of way. Plus you have a bike which earns you points in my book. I used to have one but we sold it after we found out that we were going to have T.J."

"Well, for old times sake you could take mine for a spin if you'd like."

Casey's eyes grew wide and a smile spread across her face.

"T.J, you keep this one. I have to go tell your mom that I'm going on a motorcycle ride with a sexy girl." Casey said and then kissed Tyler on the head. "Riley, it has been a pleasure to meet you and I hope we can do it again when I can stay longer."

"Your momma said that I am a keeper." Riley said with a big smile.

"Mother knows best as the saying goes." Tyler replied with a matching smile.

Over the remainder of Christmas break, Tyler and Riley spent at least every other day together. Casey invited the brunette over for dinner to which Riley accepted nervously as she knew that the detective would be there. She tried not to let on how terrified she was but both Olivia and Casey noticed it. Olivia found it pleasing that the young suitor was scared however Casey tried to be as comforting as possible.

Riley and Tyler officially became a couple on Christmas Eve. Though it still scared her to an extent, Tyler was beyond willing to take that chance as long as she got a chance at all with Riley.


	5. Meeting the Family

_**Benson Household; Christmas Eve; 6:20 pm**_

Tyler stood in front of her bathroom mirror for the one hundredth time in twenty minutes checking her outfit and her hair and her make-up. Casey walked past the bathroom door but stopped mid-step and turned around to watch her daughter. She saw as Tyler reapplied her eyeliner, adjusted her shirt and pants, questioned her hair yet again, and then sighed as she noticed that she was guessing herself.

"Case, what are you doing?" Elliot called from down the hallway.

Casey walked towards him with her finger over her lips signaling for him to be quiet.

"Do you remember how indecisive and unsure Olivia and I were when we first started dating? Do you remember telling me that you once watched her change her outfit five times before you convinced her that she looked fine and needed to stop changing?" she asked when she approached her "brother in law".

"Yeah, I do. She was so nervous. I told her that we chase and catch the worst people in the world but a red-headed, petite ADA made her this nervous and I found it hilarious. She did not find the situation funny nor the fact that I thought that it was. Why do you ask?" Elliot replied.

"T.J. has changed her clothes yet again, she is putting on eyeliner again, she is standing in the bathroom studying her reflection again, and she is still second guessing herself. I swear if that child was any more like Olivia Benson they would be the same person."

Casey and Elliot laughed as they walked down the stairs joining the rest of the family.

"What are you two laughing at?" Finn asked.

"T.J. is pulling a pre-date Olivia." Elliot answered.

"You mean she is repeatedly changing clothes, redoing her make-up, and still trying to decide on a hairstyle?" Munch asked.

"That is exactly what I mean." Elliot answered with another laugh.

"Casey, am I going to need to separate you and the boys?" Olivia asked sarcastically.

"No, honey. We were just discussing how much T.J. is your child."

"Is she changing again?" Olivia asked with a small smile.

"Yes, she is. What time is this...girl supposed to be here?" Finn asked.

A knock at the door interrupted Casey who was just about to answer the question.

"Now, it would appear." Munch answered.

 _ **Upstairs; Benson Household**_

"T.J., honey, what are you doing?" Cragen asked.

"I am trying to decide on a hairstyle." Tyler answered looking at herself in the mirror.

"Do you know what I think you're doing? I think that you are second guessing yourself."

"I am not second guessing myself, just my clothes and my hair and my make-up and...myself."

"Is this girl really worth all of this trouble? Do you really know her well enough to be doing all of this and inviting her over on Christmas Eve and for her to be meeting the family? I know that you are still hurting after Erin and that is understandable."

"Captain, this girl is worth all of this and then some. Erin has nothing to do with this."

"Erin has so much to do with this that you will not acknowledge. She is the reason that you are second guessing everything that pertains to tonight. Can you do me a favor and just stop for a minute and look at me?"

Tyler turned to face her 'grandfather' and propped up on the sink.

"T.J., I have know your moms for a very long time. I see them both as my family. Olivia is my daughter even if DNA doesn't say so. Casey is my daughter because Liv loves her. You are my granddaughter because of that. I love you so very much, kiddo. You should stop debating on your appearance. If you were to walk down those stairs in a black garbage bag and that girl didn't see your beauty then she should just leave. Everything about you emits beauty and I truly hope for her sake that she sees that. You know that Elliot, Finn, and Munch are going to give her a really hard time and since you are apparently so attached to her I hope she isn't scared away easily. I need you to stop what you are doing and walk downstairs with me, please."

"I love you, Captain."

"I love you too, Tyler Jane."

 _ **Downstairs; Living Room**_

"So, Riley, tell us about yourself." Finn said as they all sat in the living room.

"What is it you would like to know, sir?" Riley replied.

"Where are you from?"

"Everywhere and nowhere at the same time. I am a nameless faceless individual and I am perfectly alright with that fact."

"I hear that you play softball." Elliot said.

"Yes, sir I do. I am a pitcher. I have played every year of my high school career and this year will be no different."

"You get good grades?" Munch asked.

"Yes, sir. I have a 2.8 GPA as of right now."

"What are your plans after high school?" Casey asked.

"As of right now I don't really have any. I have never really given any thought to what my possibilities are so I have never really made any plans."

"You don't expect to work at the diner forever, do you?" Elliot asked.

"No, sir, I don't. I play guitar and I sing so I guess I could pursue music but that isn't a promised career so I will work at the diner until I can find something to do that is of more stature."

"You are pretty well spoken for an eighteen year old." Munch stated.

"Thank you, sir."

"Do you plan on making our girl a long lasting part of your life?" Finn asked with hard eyes.

"Um...well..."

Cragen and Tyler emerged at the bottom of the stairs causing Riley to shoot up from her seat on the chair that she was sitting in. She looked the blonde over and her mouth hung open slightly at the sight. Tyler wore a pairs of black slacks that hugged her hips perfectly, a white button down with a black undershirt, a pair of black and white converse, and her hair was straightened. Her make-up was done flawlessly and there seemed to be a glow emitting from her entire body.

"Tyler...you...you...you look amazing." Riley stuttered.

"Thank you. You don't clean up too bad yourself, Riley." Tyler replied.

The two younger girls smiled at each other for a long minute before they were interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat.

"Riley, this is the Captain." Tyler introduced.

The brunette extended her hand and firmly shook the older man's hand.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, sir." she said.

 _ **Two Hours Later**_

"Casey, everything was wonderful. You did an amazing job." Cragen said.

"Thank you, Don. T.J. helped me cook almost everything. She is becoming a regular Betty Crocker." Casey replied.

"Momma, that is not funny." Tyler scowled.

"Honey, there is no shame in being able to cook. Your mother was living off of take out and coffee before I came along." Casey replied causing everyone to laugh.

"El, this is usually when you bust out your guitar. Are you going to bless us with your off key voice this year?" Finn asked with a chuckle.

"I forgot my guitar this year, guys. I'm really sorry." Elliot replied.

"I actually have my acoustic with me if no one objects?" Riley said quietly.

"That would be awesome, Riley. Thank you." Casey said.

Riley got up from the table and went outside to grab her guitar from her bike.

"T.J. says that she can play and she can really sing. This should be interesting." Olivia said with a smirk.

 _ **Benson Living Room**_

Riley sat on a dining room chair with her right foot propped up on the bar under the chair and the guitar propped up on her leg. She strummed the strings and then began playing the song.

Everyone watched in amazement as the words seemed to roll off of her lips.

"Sittin' here resting my bones

And this loneliness won't leave me alone, listen

Two thousand miles I roam

Just to make this dock my home

Now, I'm just gon' sit at the dock of the bay

Watchin' the tide roll away, ooh

Sittin' on the dock of the bay

Wastin' time." she sang.

When the song ended, everyone clapped for her and asked her to sing another song. Riley agreed to sing again as she silently hoped that she was winning over the room of law protection family.

"And I've dropped out, I've burned up, I've fought my way back from the dead.

I've tuned in, turned on, remembered the things that you said.

I'll be your crying shoulder

I'll be love's suicide

I'll be better when I'm older

I'll be the greatest fan of your...

I'll be your crying shoulder

I'll be love's suicide

I'll be better when I'm older

I'll be the greatest fan of your life

The greatest fan of your life...greatest fan of your life..." the brunette ended as she looked directly into the emerald eyes of Tyler Benson as she looked back into the chocolate eyes of Riley Westbrook.

In that second, as the song ended and the two younger girls stared into each other's eyes, Tyler Jane Benson fell in love with Riley Westbrook. Olivia looked at Casey and Casey looked at Olivia before both of them turned to look at their daughter. Casey could see the love in her daughter's green eyes glowing as brightly as she saw it in Olivia's eyes twenty years ago. Olivia could see the love in her daughter's eyes but she was instantly filled with fear. Her baby in love was not something that she was prepared to accept.

The men of the family were in awe at the emotion in the young girl. They could tell that this girls meant exactly what she had just sang. They knew that she had in fact dropped out, burned up, and fought her way back from the dead. It was then that all four of the men respected the younger girl on a whole new level. They saw the pain in her eyes and the determination in her heart.

Casey and Elliot cleared the table while Olivia and Finn washed all of the dishes. Munch had gone home for the night and Cragen had gone to the back porch for some fresh air. Tyler and Riley stood beside the black and orange motorcycle that belonged to the brunette.

"You're going to freeze to death standing out here." Riley said with her smirk.

"At least I will die close to you." Tyler said under her breath.

"Tyler, I stand by what I said before, I do not want to hurt you. I know that you are willing to take that chance but I just can't put you through any heartbreak. I like you. I really like you. With every minute we spend together I find that I like you even more. You have this happy family and this warm and loving home and two amazing moms and you do not need a bum like me messing all of that up. You are smart and you have a future and support of a family and you are beautiful. I can't just show up and mess everything up for you. I won't be the person that waltz's in and screws everything up." Riley said.

"Did you just say that I'm beautiful?" Tyler asked with a smile on her face.

"Out of everything I just said, all you heard was that I said you are beautiful?"

"Well that part really stuck out in my mind. Riley, you are not going to waltz in and screw anything up. You are smart and amazing and respectful and beautiful in your own way. Please do not stand there and tell me that you aren't. Arguing with me is pointless. My mother is a lawyer. I want to be with you Riley and I want to show you just how much you are not going to mess up anything. You earned the respect of everyone in that room earlier. I do not care what happened in your past. All of that is behind you. I'm looking at a girl who has a beautiful soul and a sexy ass body and voice. Do you not understand that you could have anyone and be anywhere but amazingly you are here with me? I want you to be here for a very long time. Please, be here with me for a very long time."

"Tyler Benson, you are going to be the death of me but I will be there as long as I can. I'm going to be cheesy as hell right now, but, um...will you be my girlfriend?" Riley asked looking at the ground.

Tyler smiled and then she leaned in towards the brunette. Riley looked up from the ground and was met by the lips of the blonde. The kiss was soft but full of emotion. After a few moments the girls broke apart and pressed their foreheads together.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" Tyler asked.

"If that's what you want." Riley replied.

"That is all I want."

 _Alright, well that's it as it is getting late and I am getting sleepy. This is the fifth chapter and I have yet to get any reviews. If I don't get any after this chapter then I'll just drop this story. Please review even if they say that this is the most horrible story you have ever read. Thanks for reading._


	6. Cragen's Intervention

_**I have decided that I no longer want this story to take place in Tennessee so from here on out it will be based out of New York just like in the show. All of the SVU detectives work together and Casey is the ADA.**_

 _ **Precinct Squad Room; January**_

Elliot and Olivia sat at their desks with their faces buried in paperwork or in the computer trying desperately to get a lead of any kind on the case at hand. Finn and Munch had gone on the most recent coffee run as no one else could stomach the chunky syrup that Munch called coffee. Olivia and Elliot had been going over phone records for the past two hours and finances for three hours before.

Elliot happened to look up from the stack of phone records in his hands long enough to see that his partner was looking past the papers in her hands and out into the nothing.

"Liv, why don't you take a break? You look like you could use one." Elliot said.

"I'm fine, Elliot." she retorted.

"Olivia, I have seen that look in your eyes on more than one occasion and I know when something is on your mind."

"Look, my daughter is a senior in high school, she has her last season of Wildcat softball coming up, prom is just around the corner, her entire life is about to start and she can't think past short brown hair, a lip ring, a motorcycle, and a smirk. Riley has gotten her head so messed up that she doesn't even remember all of the things that she has been working for her entire life."

"Didn't you say that you knew who her birth mother was?"

"I have my suspicions and I will know for sure soon."

"What is that supposed to mean? Olivia, what did you do?"

"Liv, can I see you in my office for a minute?" Cragen called from his office door.

Olivia walked into the office of her captain.

"Close the door behind you, please." he asked.

Olivia did as she was told and silently wondered why she was beckoned. There had been nothing new that had happened with the current case and with something as big as what they were working on it was highly unlikely that he would assign her to something different.

"What's up, Captain?" the brunette woman asked.

"I had a very interesting conversation with Elliot and Warner. It appears as though you have provided DNA for a subject completely unrelated to this or any other case. Would you care to explain to me what in the hell you were thinking?" he asked angrily.

"Captain, I...I honestly have no explanation that you are going to want to hear. You know who the DNA belongs to and you know that this hits home for you and me. What is it you want me to explain?" Olivia asked.

"I want to know what the hell you are doing with Riley Westbrook's DNA and why the hell it ended up in our lab!"

"Captain, I have reason to believe that I know who this girl's mother is. If I am correct then I will need a bit of time off so that I can go to California."

"Who is in California?"

"Well, if I'm right, I will find the woman that gave birth to and left Riley for dead at only a few days old. Captain, you didn't hear her that day at the coffee shop. You didn't hear the things that she said about feeling alone and never being wanted. You didn't hear how she argued with herself about whether she should look for her real parents. This girl spent her entire life in a system that fails every single day. I have watched her and studied her. She shows all of the classic signs of mental, physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. This girl is a prime example of what we fight for every single day. Riley has been through hell and managed to come back out again. Our victims do not heal. She has not healed. She told my daughter that she would only hurt her in the end and I believe that is a result of everything that she has been through. She knows that she hurts people and she usually hurts them by running. She is terrified to get close to anyone because she has never learned to make any relationships last. She has never been in a home long enough to form any kind of a bond with anyone. She grew up without a father and without a mother. I am impressed that she is so determined and respectful and disciplined considering she was never really raised. Riley Westbrook grew up lonely and without any to really care for her." Olivia ranted.

"You mean in the same way that you grew up without a father and practically without a mother? The way that you felt alone and unwanted most of your life? The way that you battled with yourself about finding out who your biological father is and how you have never really healed? The way that you run away when someone gets too close to you, or at least the way you tried. Liv, you were terrified to get close to people as well. Is that what all of this is about? You see a little of yourself in this girl?" Cragen asked.

"I see myself in her, yeah. I also see someone that I knew a long time ago. I met a woman about twenty years ago in San Francisco when I was sent to California for a prisoner exchange. Something had gone wrong with the paperwork and I was forced to stay there for a few days. I met this woman and we sort of clicked. There was nothing romantic about it. She was, what I thought of as, a good hearted woman. If I have my facts, dates, and the DNA to prove my theory, then I will know for sure that this woman is Riley's mother."

"And what are you going to do if she is?" Casey asked quietly from the doorway of the office.

"I am going to beat the living shit out of her." Olivia answered with her teeth clenched.

"Liv, baby, you know as well as I do that is not the best idea."

"Casey, you have no idea how right this is. You didn't grow up the way that we did. You didn't see the look in her eyes when she was telling me about her parents. You didn't see how she balled up her fists when she told us that she was in the system and how many times she had been moved. This girl is broken beyond belief. She was broken by the same that system that was supposed to protect her and provide care for her. It failed her, the foster parents failed her, the birth parents failed her, and I have failed her. I will not fail her again." Olivia said looking in the eyes of her wife.

"Olivia, the system may have failed her but you did not single handedly do this. You need to understand that." Cragen weighed in.

"Don, you know that I love you like a father. Casey loves you as a father in law. T.J. loves you as her grandfather. I have worked under you for a very long time and you know as well as Casey does that when something hits me like this I will not stop until it is fixed. With that being said, I am going to see Warner to see what she has for me." Olivia said before she turned on her heel and walked out of the office slamming the door behind her.

 _ **Lab; Precinct 6**_

"What do you have for me?" Olivia asked.

"Nothing that you didn't already know." Warner replied.

"So, I was right then? Alex Cabot is the biological mother of the sample I gave you?"

"Olivia, Alex Cabot has been dead for twenty years but the age of the person you gave me that you got the sample from is only eighteen. What is it that you know?"

"Alex is alive and has been in the witness protection program. Two and a half years after she went into the program she was able to get out. The man that shot her was killed and she was finally able to get on with her life. She got in contact with me two years after she was put into the program and told me that she was in some trouble but she would not go into details. Two weeks later, she contacted me again and simply said "It's taken care of.". I didn't know what that meant at the time but now it is all coming together. Riley has the same cheek bones and ears and body style as Alex. Now that I know I'm right, I will be going to tell Alex exactly what I think about this." Olivia answered and then left leaving Warner in a state of shock.

 _ **Squad Room**_

"Liv, Casey just left and said for you to call her before you head out." Elliot called out as she grabbed her coat from the back of her chair and turned to walk back out of the squad room.

"Benson, my office now!" Cragen called from inside his office.

"Captain, I am on a very tight schedule right now."

"Casey is on her way to the school, there has been some sort of incident. I need you to go there now!"

Olivia's eyes opened wide as she turned and ran out of the office.

"Elliot, let's go! I'm driving!" she yelled but never stopped running.

 _ **Valley High School**_

Olivia stopped the car with a jolt and threw the transmission into park. She and her partner jumped out of the car and raced into the building seeing Casey's charger in the lot as the ran.

"Detective Benson, Detective Stabler, thank you for coming so quickly. This is not something that happens at my school as you well know." the principal said as they walked down the hallway.

"What is the name of the victim?" Elliot asked.

"Remmie Parker." the woman answered.

Olivia stopped dead in her tracks as she heard the name. Remmie was one of Tyler's lifelong best friends. Remmie, April, and Tyler had grown up together. Olivia and Casey loved all three of the girls like they had given birth to all three.

The sight of Casey holding April as she lay in the floor caused Olivia's heart to sink to her stomach as she, Elliot, and the principal entered the ladies bathroom. Remmie was backed into the far corner of the room facing the door and holding her knees to her chest. She stared down at the floor and dared not look away.

"Remmie, honey..." Olivia started.

Hearing the voice of her second mother, Remmie jumped to her feet and ran over to the detective, wrapping her arms around her in a death grip. Her tears came hard and fast, her body shook hard with fear and sobs, and her words didn't form any kind of sentence.

"Remmie, honey, I need you to listen to me. I need you to tell me what happened." Olivia said calmly.

The younger girl pulled away from the comforting arms of her second mother and looked her in the eyes. There was both fear and relief in her own eyes. There were no marks on her face from being hit nor was there any cuts or marks, yet there was blood on the wall of the bathroom.

"Remmie, are you bleeding from somewhere?" Elliot asked.

"The blood isn't hers. It belongs to the attacker, Troy Avery." the principal answered.

"The victim isn't bleeding but the attacker is? What happened?" Elliot asked.

"One of our students heard the struggle in here from the hallway and came in to assist Miss Parker." Mrs. Jackson answered.

"Where is the attacker? Who was this other student?" Elliot asked.

"Troy Avery is on his way to the hospital with a broken nose, possible broken jaw and clavicle, and at least four broken ribs. The other student is sitting in my office waiting to give you their statement."

"Call Cragen and get him to send Finn and Munch to the hospital to take care of Troy Avery. I'll head down to talk to the other student." Olivia told her partner.

"Troy Avery is a linebacker for our football team. He was in line for a full ride scholarship to almost any school he wanted. He has always been a good student. He keeps his grades up and up until a couple of weeks ago, he had perfect attendance. I don't know what could have provoked this." Mrs. Jackson explained as she and the detective walked toward her office.

"What about the other student?" Olivia asked.

"The other student has only been here for a short amount of time but I can tell you that I never expected this from her either."

"Her?" Olivia asked as they rounded the corner into the office.

Olivia stopped dead in her tracks when she saw her daughter and Riley Westbrook sitting in two chairs in front of the principal's desk.

"T.J.? Riley?" Olivia whispered.

"Mom!" Tyler cried as she ran to her mom and wrapped her in a tight embrace.

"T.J., I need you to go find your momma while I talk to Riley." Olivia said as her detective mindset took over.

Tyler did as she was told but not before she walked back over to the younger brunette and kissed her on the head. Olivia watched as her daughter walked past her and out into the hallway. She slowly approached the girl she knew to be dating her daughter.

Riley's eyes were fixed on the floor and her body was noticeably trembling. Olivia saw that her fists were balled up tightly and her wrists were on her knees in an obvious attempt to control herself.

"Riley?" Olivia said softly.

The younger brunette's head flinched as she heard her name.

"Nobody has gotten her to say a word since everything ended. Tyler has been trying to talk to her but she won't say anything to anyone." Mrs. Jackson added.

"Riley, why aren't you talking to anyone?" Olivia asked quietly as she bent down to the side of the younger girl.

For the first time since she had sat in the office, Riley looked up from the floor and directly into the eyes of the detective. Olivia's breath caught in her throat when she saw the condition of the young girl. Riley had two black eyes, her bottom lip was busted open and blood had run down her chin and dripped onto her shirt, there were bruises forming on her neck where the attacker had attempted to choke her, there was a group of busted blood vessels in her left eye, and there was a gash on the bridge of her nose right between her eyes.

"Why wasn't she taken to the hospital?" Olivia asked angrily.

"She refused to go. When the paramedics tried to look at her she turned away. One of them put his hand on her shoulder to hold her so that he could look her over and she nearly attacked him." Mrs. Jackson answered.

"Riley, we need to get you to the hospital." Olivia said.

"I'm not going to the hospital." Riley answered.

"Riley Westbrook, get up and get in the car, now." Casey called from behind Olivia.

On cue, Riley stood from her chair and made her way out of the office, into the hallway, and towards the doors to the front parking lot. As she walked in the direction of the doors, the students in the hallway began to applaud her. She seemed to flinch at the noise and her eyes never left the floor. She walked out to the police car and got in.

"How did you do that?" Olivia asked her wife.

"She and you have the same mindset. Whenever you tell me that you aren't going to do something, I no longer allow objection as an option. You do what you are told." Casey answered.

 _ **Bellevue Medical Center Emergency Department**_

Riley sat on the bed in the emergency room while Tyler sat in the waiting area with Elliot. Casey and Olivia sat in the room with Riley and awaited her test results.

"Westbrook?" a nurse asked as she entered the room.

"Yes." Casey answered.

"Are you two family?" the nurse asked.

"We are the closest thing to family that she has. She is eighteen and can say that we are allowed to be here." Casey said with a touch of attitude.

"Alright, then. Um...Riley, your right hand is broken is two places, you have a broken rib, and your nose is broken. We will put stitches in your nose and cast your hand." the nurse explained.

"No you won't. You can stitch my nose but everything else is fine." Riley said quietly.

"Riley, judging by your X-RAY's, you have had the same broken bones and many more in the past and they did not get the attention that they needed. I think it would be best if you allow us to do our job." the nurse protested.

"WHAT PART OF NO DID YOU NOT FUCKING UNDERSTAND? You can stitch my nose but everything else will heal. They all healed before and they will heal this time. Get my fucking nose done and I'm fucking leaving!" Riley yelled causing the three other women in the room to jump.

The nurse turned and left the room leaving the anger to roll around in Riley's mind. Casey and Olivia shared a confused and curious look before they looked over at the younger girl. Riley was staring down at the white sheets on the small bed and her finger ran up and down a wrinkle on her right side.

"Riley, I need to make a phone call. I will be right back but Case is going to stay here with you." Olivia said before she walked out of the room.

Casey went over and sat on the side of the bed to the right of Riley. She slowly reached over and laid her hand on top of the right hand of the younger girl gently. Riley looked up and into the motherly green eyed gaze.

"Riley, I understand that you have been hurt in the past and that you are still hurting because of that. Olivia...she was hurt in her past as well and I think that is why she connects to you. You and her have the same mindset about some things and I think it scares her how much you remind her of herself. She respects you and it is clear that on some level you trust her which appears to not happen very often. Talk to her and she will listen. She will help you in any way that she can. Don't lie to her and don't hurt her daughter. What you did for Remmie...that was amazing and it took balls that I will never posses. I commend you on what you did. Remmie is like one of my kids. Thank you for what you did." Casey said softly unaware that Olivia was standing outside the door listening to her.

 _ **Interrogation Room; Precinct 6**_

Riley sat in a metal chair behind a table facing the two way mirror. Olivia and Elliot sat in front of her while Finn, Munch, Cragen, and Casey watched through the other side of the mirror. Tyler had been sent home as she did not need to hear or see anything that happened with her girlfriend's statement. After twenty minutes of trying to get the younger girl to give her statement, Elliot and Olivia walked out of the room to get coffee. They exited the room and were met by their co-workers.

"I don't know what else to do. Approaching her in an angry manner will only make her sink further into herself." Olivia said.

"She is the only witness to the attack besides the victim and the attacker. I need her statement and her testimony if I am going to get a conviction for attempted rape on Troy Avery." Casey said in her ADA tone.

Huang walked into the small room that looked into the interrogation room and watched the younger brunette silently. He cocked his head to the left as he watched her and then turned to the detectives.

"Try to get her to talk about her attack." he said.

"She wasn't the one attacked." Elliot said.

"She is not the victim this time, but she has been. The way that she is extremely unnerved and uncomfortable says that she is running today's events over and over in her mind. However the way that she is picking at her cuticles and tapping on her forearm and her eyes being fixed down says that she is running a past event around in there as well. I believe that Riley suffers from PTSD. This girl has a lot more to tell than just the attack today."

Olivia and Casey exchanged a glance before the detective turned and walked back into the room.

"Riley, __do you know what post traumatic stress disorder is?" Olivia asked.

"It is a mental condition where someone who has been through a traumatic experience and they cannot get away from it. Soldiers who were in a war zone that have the disorder occasionally find themselves back in the red zone when the memories are triggered by a loud sound or the jolt of a car." she answered.

"That's right. Soldiers are not the only people who suffer from the disorder, though. Anyone who has been through something that deeply effects them can develop and suffer as well. Do you think that you have ever experienced anything that could cause the disorder to develop and grow within you?"

Riley didn't say anything. She chewed on her lip ring and began to thump the exposed skin of her left wrist. Her right leg bounced at a high speed and she fixed her eyes on the table.

"Riley, tell me about your attack." Olivia said breaking the silence causing the younger set of brown eyes to shoot up from the table and hold a gaze on the older woman's eyes.

"What in the hell are you talking about?" the younger girl asked sharply.

"You know exactly what I am talking about."

A knock on the mirror told Olivia that she needed to step outside for a minute. She walked through the door and her expression held an anger that not very many people had seen before. Now joining the captain, the ADA, and the other detectives was none other than Alex Cabot.

"Olivia..." the former ADA began.

"Save it, Alex." the detective interrupted. "Do you see that girl in there? I need you to stand here and I need you to listen to everything that she has to say. Do not move from this window. Do not tone her out. Do not take your eyes off of her."

Olivia went back into the room and closed the door but did not return to the table where she had been sitting. She paced in front of the mirror a few times and then stopped to look at the younger girl.

"Who was it, Riley? Was it someone that you knew? Someone that you were close to? Someone that you trusted? Was it someone that you had never met before? Did he make you feel like you were powerless and that you were in his control?" Olivia said in a louder tone. "You heard Remmie screaming in the bathroom so you went in. You saw that she was being attacked but when it hit you what was going on, Remmie was no longer the victim; you were seeing yourself, weren't you? You were standing on the outside watching your own attack; your own rape. The difference was, this time you could actually do something about it."

"You don't know jack shit, lady." Riley said in a normal tone.

"Why don't you just tell me then, huh? You say that I don't know but I do. I know all about you. I know what has happened just by the tone of your voice."

"Then why the fuck are you asking me?"

"Because I need you to tell me that I'm right, Riley. It was someone that you trusted, wasn't it? You knew him and you trusted him. Then he went and betrayed you and the trust that you gave him. He pushed you and pushed you until you were on the edge of a breakdown and then he took advantage of you being weak."

"I am not weak!" Riley yelled and balled her fists up tightly.

"Is that something that he said to you? Did he say that you were weak? Did he manage to overpower you?"

"Fuck you! Fuck you and everybody in there watching! You do not fucking know the first damn thing about me! I am not weak! I am not powerless! I am in fucking control! He was a fucking asshole that needs to choke on a fucking grenade right before it blows the fuck up! Nobody deserves to go through that! Nobody ever needs to be made to feel that way for any fucking reason especially more than once! Every other day for six fucking months! I felt his fucking breath on my neck and his sweat on my body! Nobody ever needs to be there mentally or physically! Eight broken ribs, one broken arm, one shattered ankle, two broken noses, a broken collar bone, and a cracked skull...rape, molestation, neglect...I've seen it all..." she trailed off for a minute before continuing. "Remmie is my fucking friend and he tried to hurt her! He was trying to teach her a lesson that all dykes need to be taught. They tell you that you just haven't had the right dick but they got the cure right there in their fucking pants. He had her pinned to the fucking floor when I went in and I just flipped the fuck out. I ran at him and put my knee to the back of his head. He turned and grabbed me by the throat and pushed me into the wall. That's when he started punching me in the face. I kicked him in the ribs but he just threw me into the stall door. He kicked me in the face and spit on me while I was laying in the floor trying to catch my breath. He laughed and said all you fucking dykes are the same. That's when I stood up and started hitting him with everything that I had. I kicked him in the leg hard enough that it popped and he dropped down. That was when I grabbed the back of his head and brought it to meet my knee. When he fell to the floor the rest of the way I straddled him and started punching him in the face over and over again until my arm got too tired to swing anymore. I stood up and started kicking him in the side. At some point, Mrs. Jackson and several other teachers had come in and tried to pull me off of him but couldn't. I finally just got too tired to beat his ass anymore so I walked over to the other wall, slid down, and sat until Tyler came in and got me to my feet. The next thing I remember, you were in the office and someone told me to get up and go to the car." Riley finished.

Olivia looked at the younger girl with enraged and saddened eyes. As the tears began to form in her eyes she got up from the table where she had taken a seat somewhere in Riley's story and exited the room.

"Liv..." Casey began.

Olivia shook her head side to side as she looked at the floor and composed herself.

"Olivia...what does this have to do with me? It appears that you have a pretty cut and dry story here." Alex said.

"Alex, that girl in there has been through more hell than any of us can conjure up nightmares about. She has spent the last eighteen years of her life being used, abused, mistreated, unwanted, and unloved. She has been in the system since she was three days old when her mother abandoned her in a shoe box." she paused to see the guilt and regret wash over the former ADA. "Riley Westbrook just took a really bad beating in the attempt to protect a girl that she has known for a little over a month. Remmie Parker was about to be raped by a football player at her school because she is a lesbian and Riley took a beating in order to save her. That girl in there knows exactly how it feels to be in the same exact position that Remmie was in because she has been there on more than one occasion. Eighteen years ago, you made contact with me and said that you were in trouble but you wouldn't give me any details. Two weeks later you contacted me again and said that it was taken care of. I had no idea what you were going through, where you were, or the fact that you were in the Witness Protection Program and pregnant. I never in a million years thought that you would be the type of person that would abandon your child but I guess that goes to show you what I know. Alex, you abandoned your three day old baby who was amazingly found alive and spent the next eighteen years of her life in hell. Riley was abandoned when she was three days old, found alive in a shoe box and put into foster care until August when she aged out. I started doing some math and then I started doing some research. My theory was right. On August eighteenth of nineteen ninety you abandoned your three day old baby girl and left her for dead. Now, you are standing here and you are seeing her for the first time since that day. Riley Westbrook, your daughter, saved a girl from being raped today because she has been raped on more than one occasion in her life. I asked her once if she ever wanted to meet her real parents and then I watched as she argued with herself about her answer. I have seen the terror and the agony and the loathing that lives inside of your daughter. She is an eighteen year old girl who has spent every single day of her life feeling unwanted and unloved. I wished that there was something that I could do to help her. I wanted to help her in any way that I could. She was unsure about meeting her parents because she didn't think that they would want to see her. Now that I know everything, I know that it isn't her that doesn't need to meet you; it's you that doesn't deserve to meet her. She is shattered but she is respectful and disciplined and smart and funny and my daughter is in love with her. T.J. is head over hills in love with that girl who has never felt loved or even wanted. You look at her and you think about the things that she has gone through; the things that she has to live with and relive every single day because of what you did. You take a good look because if I have any say about it, you will never see Riley again. The best thing that you can do for her is to turn around and walk away and never fucking come into her life." Olivia said with tears running down her face.


	7. The Aftermath

_**This chapter will get a little dark and could be triggering to those who can relate to Riley and hre form of release. Warning: talk of self-harm.**_

 _ **Benson Residence; Later The Same Night**_

Olivia sat at the kitchen table and ran the events of the day over in her mind. She could not escape the memory of Riley and the things she said and the tension of her body and the rage in her eyes. She clutched a cup of coffee in her right hand that had long since gotten cold but still she held it as she stared at the blank wall in her dining room. Her dinner plate sat on the table in front of her, untouched. She broke her stare on the wall and removed her gun and badge from her hip and carefully placed it on the table to the left of her plate. The glow of the gold badge reflected the overhead light into her eyes and her gaze settled onto the shield. She couldn't stop the flood of thoughts in her mind when her eyes settled on the gold. She wondered why in the hell she even did her job when she wasn't protecting people like Riley and how a system meant to protect children could allow things to happen to them that they were forced to live with every single day. She saw the bruises on Riley's neck, the bruising under both of her eyes, the blood running down the bridge of her nose and her chin, and the swelling and purple color of her hand in her own mind and tears began to form in her chocolate eyes. The longer she thought about the younger girls condition, the harder the tears began to fall down her cheeks.

"Liv, honey, what are you doing?" Casey's voice called from the doorway of the kitchen.

Olivia didn't say anything to respond to her wife; she couldn't say anything. There were five billion thoughts running through her mind but not one of them would pass her lips. The only thing she could manage was to look up at the red-headed woman. Casey watched as her brown eyed detective slowly raised her gaze from her shield to her own green eyes. Never in her life had she seen such agony in someone's stare; especially not Olivia Benson who was hard as stone and tough as nails. She walked over to her wife to comfort her but the response she got nearly broke her heart. Olivia laid her head over onto Casey's chest, wrapped her arms around her waist, and cried into her embrace. The brunette held her wife tightly, hid her face in her robe, and let the sobs take her over as she had been fighting them for nearly four hours.

 _ **1205 Glendale Drive**_

Riley laid in her bathtub with the lights turned off and candles lit around the small room. She had her cell phone turned off and she sat in complete silence. Music generally followed Riley wherever she went as it was a huge part of her life but tonight she sat in silence. She had been in the tub for an unknown amount of time as time meant nothing to her currently. It seemed as though nothing meant much of anything to her at that point. She should feel at least a little good about herself. She had just kept a girl from being raped for the love of everything holy. She had beaten the hell out of the attacker which was excellent for her pent up anger and yet she still felt like complete shit. She could not feel the pain from the ass beating that she had taken previously that day but mentally and emotionally she felt terrible. She had reveled one of her deepest darkest secrets to not only the police but to her girlfriends mother. She had the sneaking suspicion that this was not going to go over well and that it would not end here.

She managed to get herself together long enough to get out of the bathtub. She threw on a pair of Batman sleep pants, a dark grey tee shirt, and hung up her towel. She didn't bother to brush her hair or to brush her teeth. She walked slowly to her living room and collapsed onto her couch. She needed time to think and to get her thoughts in some sort of an order. She laid there in more silence and she was very near the point where she was asleep and still aware of her surroundings when a knock on her front door sounded and pulled her from her solitude.

"Mother fucker!" she mumbled under her breath. "Who is it?" she called aloud.

"It's Detective...it's Olivia Benson." a woman's voice called from the other side of her front door.

 _"I knew this shit was going to get worse."_ she thought to herself.

Riley pulled herself up off of her position on her couch, walked slowly over to her front door, and opened it for the detective. The younger brunette didn't make eye contact with the older woman, she simply turned and walked back over to her couch. The ache of her body had caught up with her and she began to feel as though she had been hit by a bus. The pain must have been apparent on her face because Olivia had a sympathetic expression on her face. She walked across the living room and joined the younger girl on the couch.

"How are you feeling?" the older woman asked finally breaking the silence.

Riley opened her eyes and looked disbelievingly at the detective. Her eyes were beginning to swell more and her vision was narrow due to the edema.

"I got the hell beat out of me by a linebacker a few hours ago. How would you feel?" Riley asked sarcastically.

"I guess that particular question was uncalled for. You look like you're in some serious pain. Is there anything here that you can take for pain?"

"No, I don't keep pain meds. I have a really high pain tolerance so I just don't keep any. Not to mention I find the pain comforting. It lets me know that I'm human and that I'm still alive."

Olivia looked over at the younger brunette and watched as she cringed in pain. Riley had her eyes closed and she had her head laid back against the cushions of the back of the couch. She had her knees pulled to her chest and she had her fists clenched tightly. She raised her head from the cushions and ran her fingers through her still wet hair, allowing them to rest on the back of her head. That was when the older woman saw the tattoos on Riley's wrists...and the other marks on her forearm.

"Riley, Tyler has been trying to call you and text you but nothing is going through. She was really concerned about you so I told her that I would come check on you. She told me that she was terrified that you had hurt yourself. Why would she think that you had hurt yourself?" Olivia asked even though she already knew the answer.

Riley didn't answer. She inhaled but was cut short by the pain in her ribs. She slowly moved her arms back down to her sides and rested her hands on her knees.

"How long have you been hurting yourself?" Olivia asked.

Again, the younger girl didn't answer. This detective had gotten her to admit that she was raped in her past earlier that day and now she was prying around in another secret...

"Riley, I know that you self-harm. I can see the scars and I can see the fresh cuts. Judging by the scars, you have been doing this a lot longer than you care to remember. If I had to guess I would say that you started around the age of fourteen. All of the other kids at your school were doing it and taking it as the latest trend. They all thought that it was cool. You tried it once but didn't see what the hype was about. But then you did it after something upsetting and then you understood all too well. It started with just one here and one there but then you started doing it more frequently. Soon it became an every other day thing, maybe even every day. You got addicted to it like a person does with smoking cigarettes."

"Twelve." Riley whispered.

"What?" Olivia asked as she hadn't heard what was said.

"I was twelve when I started. I didn't start it because it was cool or the latest thing. I learned a long time ago that physical pain drowns mental pain. Granted it isn't gone for long but those few moments when all you can feel is the burn and the sting from the cut and your mind is released from its torture, it's all worth it. I became addicted to the release soon after I started cutting myself and I was addicted to the mental release from physical pain long before that. I have been causing myself pain for a really long time. I felt like it was the only way I could deal with my screwed up outside world and the even more fucked up world in my head. I have never felt like I was good enough for anyone and at the same time I have never been good enough for everyone. I will distance myself from everyone when I'm mad or hurt because I become this heartless bitch and I soon regret the things I say. My blades are like a child's favorite blanket; they are always there for me even when not a single person was." Riley explained. "Cutting is one of the strangest things in the world. You would think that the idea of putting a razor blade to my own skin and dragging it bringing blood to the surface would be terrifying but I find it calming. I have been wearing a mask every minute of every day of my life. I pretend to be this happy teenage girl that has her shit together when in reality I am scared shitless. When I cut and I watch the skin split apart, I can feel the mask coming off and my very soul is exposed but there is no one there to see it. I don't let people know the real me because the real me isn't who I should be. I should not be a girl who hides from crowds or comes home to a razor blade for comfort. I should not be a girl who makes excuses about why I have these marks. No one should be this afraid to live every single day."

"Riley, I know what it's like to feel like you aren't enough for anyone and how you have to get the hell out when you are angry or hurt. I know how it hurts to smile and how it feels to wear that mask constantly." she paused and pulled up the sleeve covering her left arm exposing her scar on her wrist. "I know what it feels like to want to die."

"You...you tried to kill yourself?" Riley asked quietly.

"I did when I was sixteen years old and then again when I was in my twenties. I attempted an overdose at sixteen and then I did this when I was twenty three. I found myself in the darkest time of my entire life about twenty one years ago. I was a zombie that rarely slept and barely ever ate anything. Elliot, my partner, tried to help my but he was having trouble getting through. That was when the whole squad started making me their number one case. It was about six months after being taken out for dinner and sitting on the couch watching movies with Casey that I finally started seeing the light again. She told me all of these things about myself that I had never really seen before. She told me that I was protective even when I wasn't doing it on purpose. I would always make her walk on the side of me that was furthest away from traffic or I would stand more to the front of her rather than to her side when she was in a uncomfortable situation. It was about six months after that when I asked her to marry me because I honestly could not see one day in my future without her in it. By this time we were practically living together, sleeping together, building a life together. She made me coffee in the mornings and dinner at night. She understood that my job takes a lot of my time so coming home at all hours was just something that she understood. I started seeing the light again because she was my light. I have never felt that way since then." Olivia replied.

"Mrs. Benson, would it be safe to say that Tyler loves me?"

"Why do you ask that?"

"Because that terrifies me. I have never been loved before. I don't know how to be loved. All I know is how to get hurt and how to deal with it. I am terrified that she will make me happy and then it will all get ripped away from me."

"T.J. doesn't love half-heartedly; she loves completely. If she loves someone then they get every bit of her. She falls fast and hard and that hasn't happened in two years. Erin hurt her in one of the worst ways possible. I have not seen her look at anyone the way she looked at Erin until she looked at you on Christmas Eve when you were singing. She looked at you like she was seeing you for the very first time but in the way that she was seeing the real you. Riley, when you sing and you feel the lyrics your whole body shows it. You glow and your eyes light up. In that moment, I believe that she fell head over heels in love with you."

"I do not want to hurt her but I know that I will. I hurt people and I always have. I can't hurt her."

"She was hurt when she tried to call you and it went straight to voicemail. Listen, why don't you come to the house tonight? It has been a very emotional day and you don't need to be alone. I would feel better knowing that you are safe and that my daughter is no longer worrying herself into a migraine."

"Is there any point in objecting?" Riley asked with a smirk.

"No, there isn't. Go pack a bag. You are welcome to stay for as long as you need to."

 _ **Benson Residence; 1:15 a.m.**_

"Olivia Benson, you have been gone for three hours! Where in the hell have you been?" a distraught Casey asked as she walked toward the front door.

"I had something that I needed to take care of." the older brunette answered as she motioned to Riley. "She is going to be staying with us until everything settles down and tomorrow morning I am going to get Cragen to take me off of the case."

Casey walked over to the younger girl and wrapped her arms around her shoulders.

"Are you hungry? I can make you something to eat." the red headed woman asked.

"No, ma'am. If it's alright I would just like to go to sleep." Riley answered.

"Of course, honey. T.J.'s room is upstairs, last door on the right. She will be very glad to know that you are alright."

"You're sending me to her room to sleep?" Riley asked confused.

"You are respectful enough to not try anything in my house and I know that. Now, get upstairs and get in bed. We will see you first thing in the morning." Casey ordered with a warming smile.

With that, the younger girl quietly went up the stairs and entered the dimly lit bedroom of her girlfriend. She silently closed the door behind her and turned to walk towards the bed but was distracted by the sight of Tyler. She lay in her bed with her arms wrapped around a pillow, holding it for dear life. She wore a black KISS tee shirt and pajama pants that looked like blue jeans. Her face was still puffy from crying. Riley walked over to the bed and sat down beside her girlfriend. She brushed a strand of hair from her face causing her to wake.

"Riley! Holy shit! I was so worried that something happened and..." she was interrupted by Riley putting her finger to her lips.

"I'm here now, T.J. I'm fine and I am here to stay for a while. Your mom came and got me. We had a really long and painful conversation but she made me come here and then your momma sent me up here to go to bed." Riley said quietly.

Tyler sat up and wrapped her arms around her girlfriends neck. She pulled her down into a laying position and just held her for the longest time as she felt tears fall and sobs shake the brunettes body. After an hour, Tyler could tell that Riley had gone to sleep and she herself drifted into a calming dream land with the girl that she loved in her arms.

 _ **The Next Morning; 7:15 a.m.**_

The smell of coffee filled the house. Olivia opened the bathroom door with a confused look on her face. She went to the bedroom and saw that Casey was still sleeping. She slowly went down to the dining room where she found Riley sitting at the dining table with a cup of coffee in her hand.

"You're up early." the older woman said softly.

Riley jumped at the sound of the voice but quickly composed herself.

"Yeah, sorry. I don't sleep late and coffee was very much required."

"How are you feeling..." Olivia began to ask as she rounded the table but then she saw the younger girls face.

Both of her eyes were black and purple and almost swollen shut, the bruises on her neck had turned a dark blue, and her nose was swollen more than it had been the day before.

"Something smells like it's time to get up." Casey called from the stairs.

She saw her wife and Riley sitting at the table in silence and she felt the tension. She went into the kitchen and poured herself a cup of coffee. As she walked to the dining room she saw that Olivia had anger in her eyes and that was never a good sign at this time of morning.

It wasn't until the red head rounded the table and sat down that she understood the early morning emotion of her wife.

"Oh, Riley..." Casey said softly.

"I've had much worse, Mrs. Benson." Riley answered.

"Has T.J. seen you yet?"

"Not in the light."

"She is going to be very unhappy about this."

"Who is going to be very unhappy about what?" Tyler asked as she came into the dining room.

"Well, um, honey...try to remember that your mom and I are going to handle this and you are not to take it into your own hands. You were blessed with your mom's temper and I know that you are going to want to..." she was interrupted as her daughter rounded the table and saw her girlfriend for the first time.

"I am going to beat the ever loving fucking shit out of that mother fucker!" Tyler yelled


	8. The Aftermath Part Two

_**Benson Residence 7:45 a.m.**_

Tyler had been yelling and cussing and pacing for the past thirty minutes as her momma, mom, and girlfriend listened and watched. Her face and ears had turned a bright red color which usually happened when she was mad or upset and at this current moment she was both. Riley sat in silence while Olivia and Casey used their best tactics to try to calm their daughter but failed. Olivia was the first to notice that the younger brunette had began to deep breath and her own face was turning red which she decided was caused by a sensitivity to yelling; something that Olivia had also had to deal with growing up with her drunken and abusive mother. Casey was the one that noticed that Riley had gotten very uncomfortable and began thumping her forearm through her long sleeve shirt. This was an action that the red head recognized from dealing with younger victims for so long. It was in that second that she realized that Riley was hurting herself and at that time she was fighting the urge to cut herself.

"Riley, honey, are you alright?" the red head asked.

Riley didn't say anything. She didn't nod her head in response. She stared down at the table where there was a knife laying casually. Her brown eyes were locked on the glow of the blade and her mind filled with the scenario of dragging that blade across her own skin. Everything around her sounded like a low growl and seemed to move in slow motion. She didn't realize it at the time but she had reached out her hand and was going for the knife. Olivia noticed this and immediately picked up the blade and took it into her hands out of the younger girls view. The younger brunette continued to stare at the place on the table where the knife had been laying.

"Riley?" Tyler said but got no response.

"Riley?" she tried again but got the same silence.

"Riley!" she yelled.

The younger brunette blinked her eyes a few times and then closed them hard in an attempt to hide the tears that were forming in them. Her body was stiff but her mind raced faster than a bouncy ball in a 4x4 room.

"Riley, take deep breaths. Inhale deeply and exhale slowly." Olivia said.

"I...I...I can't...breathe." Riley replied as she slowly raised her eyes to meet the other set of brown orbs in the room.

Olivia could see that Riley was fighting five hundred emotions right that second. Her eyes were blood shot, her fists were balled up tightly, her knuckles were white, her face was red, and her body was as stiff as a board. Her breaths were coming in short spurts and were sharp to say the least.

"She's having a panic attack." Olivia said as she raised from her seat.

Riley's eyes rolled into the back of her head and she started to fall out of the chair. Casey managed to catch her before she hit the floor and then eased her down to the hardwood. She grabbed her wrist to check her pulse.

"Liv, she's going into shock! T.J. call a bus!" the red headed woman yelled. "Riley, honey, I need you to try to stay awake for me, okay?" but it was no use as she was already unconscious.

 _ **Bellevue Medical Center 9:15 a.m.  
**_

"Hey, have you heard anything yet?" Elliot asked as he walked into the waiting room.

"She went into a state of shock and passed out. She is awake now but she is refusing to see anybody. The nurse said that there are several things that need to be done before she can be released." Casey answered.

"Where is T.J. and Liv?"

"Sitting outside her room begging her to let them come in."

"She won't let T.J. see her either? I can imagine how well that is going. That girl has Liv's attitude and her temper."

"I think that she is more worried than she is angry. She looked so terrified when Riley passed out. El, I know that my daughter is in love with this girl but it worries me. Riley is broken, very broken. She is so set in her ways that there may be some severe reactions when they are put to a stop."

"What are you talking about, Casey?"

"Riley is self-harming. She started when she was twelve years old and it hasn't stopped. She has cuts now that are only a few days old at the most. T.J. knows that she is cutting but she doesn't know what to do or say to help Riley. The scars that I saw are...some look like they needed stitches that they never got and some are short and light. This hits home in more ways than one. I want to help her. I need to help her. I know what it feels like to be this way and to not have anyone. I can see in her eyes that she is very near to her breaking point and I refuse to let her get there." Olivia said from behind Casey.

"Liv..." Elliot began.

"Elliot, this girl has grown up alone, abused, lonely, hidden, and unloved. She cuts herself just like I did. She longs for the burn and the sting of the blade just like I did. She craves that release just like I did. I had Casey and you to help me the best that you could without the direct understanding of the situation. I have been where Riley is and I know how she feels and how her mind is working and how her body is reacting. I can help her. I know that you're both worried that this will be bad for me but I don't think that it will. I need to make her understand that she is not alone in this and that someone does understand."

"Baby, I love you so very much and even though I don't like you putting yourself in a position that could be triggering I know that you are going to do it anyway. But, you will promise me here and now that if it gets too bad or if the urges come back, you will tell me." Casey said sternly.

"I promise, Case. I love you more than words can express. Thank you for understanding."

"You two are sickeningly sweet sometimes." Elliot said as he sat in a chair.

"Do you think there is any chance of T.J. leaving any time soon?" Casey asked.

"I'm ready to go home. When she is ready to talk to me then she can come find me." Tyler said from the doorway.

With the look of anger on her face and the tears in her eyes, her momma wrapped her arms around her shoulders and walked her to the car to take her home while Elliot and Olivia stayed behind to be with Riley.

 _ **Bellevue Hospital; 10:30 a.m.**_

"What the hell are you doing here?" Olivia asked through gritted teeth.

"I'm here to talk to Riley." Alex answered softly.

"I don't think so. You are the last thing that Riley needs right now."

"Olivia, I respect the fact that you are protecting her but that is my daughter in there and I need to speak to her."

"Oh, shit." Elliot said under his breath.

"Your daughter? That is your daughter in there? I don't fucking think so. That girl in there is Riley Westbrook, not Riley Cabot. Do you know why she is Riley Westbrook? Because she took the last name of the woman that took care of her after she was found alone in the park at three days old where you fucking left her to die. That girl was raised in foster care because the woman that was supposed to love her unconditionally abandoned her! She has been through hell her entire life, Alex and I will not stand by and allow you to put her through more! She needs to be alone right now and then she needs to be around people that actually care about her!" Olivia exploded.

"I do care about her!" Alex yelled back.

"You have a really fucked up way of showing it! I have a daughter, Alex, and I sure as hell do not show her that I love her by leaving her for dead! The best fucking thing you can do is turn around and walk the fuck away. If you don't, I will gladly flash my badge and drag you the fuck out of here by your goddamn hair." Olivia said as she stepped towards the blonde.

Alex hung her head and turned away from Olivia.

"I made a mistake because I was scared, Liv. I have never stopped regretting that." she said before she turned and walked away.

 _ **Bellevue Hospital; 12:25 p.m.**_

Elliot and Olivia had been sitting outside the hospital room for what seemed like forever and after much convincing, Olivia gave into Elliot's request of coffee and food. She took one last look at the younger girl who lay in the hospital bed sleeping and then left with her partner for much needed caffeine.

Riley was awoken by a presence in her room. She opened her eyes and saw a beautiful blonde woman who wore black framed glasses staring at her.

"Who the hell are you and why the hell are you here?" Riley asked angrily.

"Riley, my name is Alex Cabot. I used to be the ADA with the SVU. I worked with Olivia and Elliot for many years. I was hoping that you and I could talk a bit?" the blonde said softly.

"What is it that you would like to talk about, Mrs. Cabot?" Riley asked respectfully.

"If you're willing, I would like to talk about you. I know that you grew up in foster care but I would like to know more if you would be so kind. I know that you have lived in numerous states, can you tell me why that is?"

"I honestly can't. I was moved all over the place when I was placed in a new foster home. I was in foster care for thirteen years and in that time I was in six different homes if you include Mrs. Westbrook who took me in when I was found abandoned at three days old. I have twenty two foster brothers and sisters and none by blood that I know of as I don't know who my birth parents are."

"Have you ever considered looking for your birth parents?" Alex asked attempting to hide her emotions.

"I played around with the idea for a while but I am pretty torn about the whole situation."

"Why is that?"

"What if they gave me up because they didn't want me in their lives? What if they did love me but I was taken away from them? What if I find them and they don't want to see me or don't even remember me? What if I find them and they do want to see me and do remember me? What if they slam the door in my face? What if they want me to be a part of their lives? What if they take one look at me and they can see how much of a disappointment I am?" Riley said in a near daze.

"They would not see you as a disappointment, Riley. They gave you up because they were terrified of what would happen to you if they were to keep you. They have wanted to see you every single day since the day that you were left in the park. They do remember you and they have thought about you every single day. I want you to be a part of my life and I want to be a part of yours. I want nothing more than to wrap you in my arms and hold you and make your pain go away."

"What in the hell are you talking about?" Riley asked growing angry.

"Riley, I am your mother." Alex answered with a tear in her eyes.

"What the fuck did you just say?" the young brunette asked angrily.

"I am your mom, Riley. I have missed you every single day and I have never stopped loving you."

"You are honestly going to fucking stand there and tell me that you are my mom and expect me to be happy about it? You left me in a fucking park in a goddamn shoe box! You left me for dead but I am supposed to be glad to fucking see you? I spent thirteen years living in a hell of different kinds! You have no fucking clue the goddamn pain, the fucking loss, or the fucking hurt that I have lived with my whole damn life! I spent my whole fucking life hiding and alone because that was better than being hurt yet fucking again! You can't count the fucking nights I spent alone begging to be dead! I was a goddamn child!" she screamed. "Where the fuck were you when I fucking need you? Oh, that's right; you were no fucking where to be found! I fucking needed someone! I needed my goddamn mother! I prayed and begged an empty fucking sky for you to come find me and take me away! You never fucking showed up! You didn't care then so why in the fuck should I care now?"

"Riley, I am so very sorry..." Alex tried to say as she reached out to touch her daughter for the first time in over eighteen years.

"You are sorry; a sorry piece of shit! Do not fucking touch me! You are not my mom! You weren't then and you sure as fuck aren't now! You are not my mother! You aren't! I don't fucking need you!" Riley yelled her anger now forming into rage. "Get the fuck out of here! I don't want to see you! I don't want to know you! Get the fuck away from me!"

Hearing the yelling from the hallway, Casey took off running towards Riley's room and threw the door open. The anger was apparent in her eyes when she saw the tears on the younger brunette's cheeks and the blonde standing two feet away from her.

"You couldn't just leave well enough alone could you, Alex? You had to come in here and cause bigger waves than already exist for her! Can you not see the pain that she is in? She has spent her entire life thinking that she is worthless. She attracts everyone but she only allows a handful of people in. She settles for far less than she deserves because that is what she believes she deserves. How could she not believe that when you abandoned her and she spent the following years in a system that failed her every single day? I know that she deserves so much more than she has. She deserves to be loved and with people that care for her and that does not include you. She has played the cards that she was dealt until she was able to make her own way in August when she came here. Once she was on her own and she had escaped the hells that she grew up in, she allowed no one in and she settled for nothing. She doesn't see herself as a good person; therefore she feels she deserves no one. She has been alone for a long time and she is comfortable with that choice but I'm not and neither is Liv or T.J. We all care about her very deeply. She has become a part of our family and she may not believe it but we love her. Right now, I need you to get the fuck out of this room before I kick your ass and mop the fucking floor with your goddamn hair. I have beat the shit out of you before and nothing would make me happier than doing it again!" Casey yelled.

Alex, with tears in her face, turned and left the room with no intention of ever interfering with Riley Westbrook ever again.

Casey turned to Riley and walked over to the bed.

"Are you alright?"

"Would you be alright?" Riley asked.

"No, I wouldn't be."

"Did you mean what you said...about me being a part of your family?"

"Riley, you became a part of my family the night that my daughter looked at you and fell in love with you. We all fell in love with you that night. We love your personality and your passion and your laugh. You have a smile that can light up a room and a sense of protection that can match Liv's which nobody thought was possible. You are random and determined and stubborn as hell. I don't know exactly what has been said to you in the past but if I had to guess I would say that it was degrading and hurtful but I do know that none of it is true. You are a remarkable person, Riley Westbrook. Never ever doubt that."

Riley could find the words to express what she was feeling at that moment. All she could do was hang her head and cry. Seeing this, Casey moved closer to the younger girl and placed her hand on her arm. She was beyond surprised when Riley wrapped her arms around her and cried into her embrace. Elliot, who had been standing at the doorway the entire time, smiled as he saw that Casey had connected so deeply with not only a victim but with a girl that would come to mean so very much to the whole family. He silently hoped that the upcoming events would not cause a setback that would break everything that had just been formed.

 _ **Bellevue Hospital; 2:15 p.m.**_

"You are being discharged, Riley. You are free to go." the doctor said twenty minutes ago.

Riley had gotten off of the hospital bed and put her blue jeans back on. She went to pull her shirt sleeves up her arms but stopped to look at the scars and healing cuts on her left forearm. Olivia stood at the door silently and watched the younger girl. She remembered doing the exact same thing the night that she tried to kill herself by slitting her wrist. She wondered if Riley was thinking the same thing or if she was feeling the darkness of guilt.

"Are you about ready?" she asked, startling the younger girl.

"Just about."

 _ **20 Minutes Later**_

"I need to run by the precinct before we head to the house." Olivia said as she drove.

Riley nodded in response.

 _ **Squad Room**_

"Hey, Liv, everything is set up." Elliot called from his desk causing confusion for the young girl.

"Riley, I need you to come with me, please." Olivia said and then led her to an interview room.

"What are we doing in here?" Riley asked.

"We are just talking." Finn answered from one corner of the room.

Finn stood in a corner, Cragen stood in a corner, and Casey stood in the other corner. Elliot entered the room and took a seat next to his partner at the table. Riley looked around at the people in the room in confusion.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?" Riley asked angrily.

"We just want to talk to you, rock star." Casey said softly.

"I'm not in the mood to talk." Riley hissed.

"Well then just sit here and listen." Finn said in his husky voice.

Cragen looked at Olivia who gave him a nod signaling the go ahead. He walked over to the younger girl and dropped a manila envelope in front of her on the table.

"What is this?" Riley asked.

"Just open it and find out." he answered.

Casey and Olivia exchanged a look when the younger girl picked up the envelope and began to open it. Inside were pictures of what looked like a bloody crime scene. There was a sink and toilet which said that the scene was a bathroom with a white tile floor. A bloody hand print was on the white wall and blood ran in the cracks of the tile. A slash on someone's wrist was deep and wide while the skin was pale. There was a tattoo on the victims wrist of a white dove carrying a pink rose. Riley dropped the pictures and pushed away from the table.

"What is it?" Finn asked. "Do you see something that hits close to home?"

"HOW IN THE FUCK DID YOU GET THESE PICTURES?" Riley growled.

"I called a friend down in Missouri and he sent them over." Cragen answered.

"I take it you remember this tattoo?" Elliot asked.

"I...I...She..." Riley attempted but failed.

"Who is the girl in these pictures?" Olivia asked.

"She...please don't..." Riley pleaded as the tears began to flood her face.

"Her name is Abigail Williams, but you already know that, don't you? You knew her very well, didn't you? You and her lived together for, what, a year and a half?" Finn asked.

"She was more or less your sister, correct?" Cragen asked.

Riley just nodded.

"We have done a little research, Riley, and we have found some very interesting things. Abigail Williams died from an apparent suicide in 2001 but she wasn't the only one that died in your life. There was Jared Fain in 2004, Michelle Reeves in 1999, and Steven Giles in 2007 and all of them died while you were living in their homes. All of them died from an apparent suicide but we don't think that is true. We think that you know what really happened to them and we need you to tell us." Finn said harshly.

"I...I...can't." Riley answered through her tears.

"Riley, all of these people died for the same reason and you know what that reason is. If you don't tell us then they will have died in vain. Do you want their deaths on your conscious for the rest of your life?" Elliot asked.

"Do you not fucking think that I live with that goddamn guilt every single fucking day? Every day I can feel their blood on my hands and I can see their empty eyes on me! I remember the temperatures of the rooms and the smells of their different body washes! I remember having sibling fights with them! I remember Abby trying to teach me about boys and the look on her face when I told her that boys weren't my thing! I remember Michelle playing dress up with me and trying to teach me about make-up! I remember Jared talking to me about girls and how they needed to be treated! I remember Stevie telling people that I was his little sister and he would kill anyone that messed with me! I remember every single one of them! I remember walking in every single one of those rooms and fucking finding my dead brothers and sisters! Don't you fucking stand there and give me a goddamn guilt trip!" she yelled.

Riley had begun pacing around the room as she screamed and when she finished her speech, she stopped in front of the two way mirror and looked at her reflection. She had her fists balled up tightly and they hung by her sides. She put them against the mirror and laid her head there for just a few seconds. She picked her head up and then she began hitting the mirror with her already broken hand. She hit the mirror with great force five times before Finn could get to her. He wrapped his arms around her arms and pulled her back to his stomach tightly so that she couldn't hit the mirror any more.

Casey rushed over to them and tried to get Riley's attention but it was no good, her gaze was filled with rage and agony.

 _ **Interview Room; One Hour Later**_

Elliot and Olivia sat at the table across from Riley while Finn, Casey, and Cragen had left the room. They all watched as the silence continued in the room. Huang had been watching the entire time and he continued to study her as she sat. Her right leg bounced at a high speed, her fists were clenched and laid on the table in front of her, and her eyes were locked on the table.

"She has some serious anger issues but it appears as though she refuses to hurt anyone. She attacked Troy Avery because in her mind, he was the monster. On a daily basis, Riley sees herself as the monster. She acts out in rage but it is always against herself. You said that she is cutting herself and has been for a long time?" he asked Casey who shook her head in response. "My guess is that she is or has done more than just cutting. Do you know of any suicide attempts in her past?"

"There is nothing that we can find. Judging by the way she reacts to the hospital, she has been in there a few too many times for her liking. We can't seem to locate any of her files, however." Casey answered.

"There is no way for her files to disappear. We need to find those files. You are sure that she is connected to this case?" Cragen asked.

"Olivia and Elliot are convinced that she is. I have my doubts and without proof, I have nothing to use in court. I need proof and I need it soon before someone else ends up dead." Casey said before she turned on her heel and walked toward the coffee pot.

"Would it be possible for me to get out of this room and go to the bathroom and stretch a little?" Riley nearly whispered.

"Of course. The bathroom is to the right of my desk." Olivia answered.

Riley opened the door and saw that she had been being watched which came as no surprise. She had a feeling that she had been being watched and now it was confirmed. She walked slowly. She was emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted. She walked over to Olivia's desk and looked at it long enough to see a picture frame holding a photograph of the detective, her wife, and their daughter. Seeing this picture stabbed Riley's already aching heart. She had never had that and she never would. She had always been alone and before long she would find herself alone yet again. Her attention was grabbed by the sound of someone calling out her name which sounded distant and muffled in her ears but she heard it nonetheless.

She saw Casey running towards her while Olivia, Elliot, Finn, and Cragen reached for their guns in slow motion. Riley felt a wave of confusion rush over her mind but then she felt a very familiar fear that she hoped and prayed that she would never have to feel again. A arm wrapped around her neck and she could feel the cold of a gun barrel against her right temple.

"It's been far too long, lovely." a male voice with an Irish accent whispered in her ear.

"Keegan..." Riley whispered.

"Glad to see you remember me. But then again, I make an impression that is impossible to forget." he said to her.

"Let her go!" Elliot yelled.

"Now see, Riley and I have a little unfinished business to deal with so I won't be doing that anytime soon." Keegan called back to the detective.

Olivia searched Riley's eyes for the bravery that she very much needed her to feel right then. She searched her brown eyes but all she found was terror, agony, and regret. Riley was visibly shaking and tears burned at her eyes. She looked at the detectives with their guns drawn and to Casey who could do nothing but watch as Olivia had grabbed her and pulled her behind her. Everything was happening so slowly from Riley's perspective. She thought how amazing it was that Olivia was so protective of her wife and then she understood what Casey had said at the hospital about her being as protective as the detective. She looked at Elliot who wore an expression that was hard as stone but she could see that underneath he was scared as hell. Finn looked the man over and then looked at her as she looked at him. His eyes were pleading with her to be calm. Cragen held his gun on the man and looked at the gunman as though he was holding the captain's own flesh and blood captive. There was such anger and desperation in his eyes.

"La marked this little lovely and her debt has to be paid in full." the gunman called out.

"You let her go and I won't have to kill you." Finn said firmly.

"Oh, little lovely, you have gotten another family to love you. I have to say this family is a lot different from our own. The bond is just as tight but I'm sure the thrill is not up to par. We have been on some adventures, you and I. But then you had to go and do what you did and now La wants you to pay for it." Keegan said to the younger girl.

"Keegan, you don't have to do this. Please don't do this." Riley pleaded with hot tears flooding her pale face.

"Are you scared, lovely? That's good. You should be scared. You know that La always gets what he's after and you know what he's after. One way or another he will get it."

"Keegan, I...I...I..."

"Oh, this is too bloody perfect. The little lovely has found a new family and a new beau. This gets better and better. I hope I get to see the look on her face when they put your worthless arse in the fucking ground." Keegan said with a sinister smile.

Finn had attempted to get closer to them but was spotted by the gunman.

"Not another fucking step or you will be cleaning her face off of the fucking wall." he said shaking Riley hard.

Riley cringed in pain as she was still very sore from the incident at the school. Casey saw the pain in her face and the tears in her green eyes began to flow faster and harder down her cheeks.

The detectives had maneuvered to a position where they were beginning to surround Keegan and Riley but the gunman noticed.

"This will end, lovely. You will die and La will continue on just as he has been. I have missed you, little lovely, but I can't allow you to continue breathing. Every breath you take is too expensive and La does not like expenses." he whispered to her.

"Well, it's been a pleasure meeting all of you. I hate that we have to cut it so short but I have a job to do and a brother to keep happy. As for you, you have a bloody mess to clean up." he said as he cocked the gun in his hand.

"No!" Casey screamed and then everyone heard a gunshot.

Keegan's grip loosened on Riley and blood began to run down his chin. His arm fell and then his body followed. When he fell to the ground, everyone saw Munch standing in the doorway with his gun in his hands. Riley looked at the detectives who had moved closer together in all of the action. Her eyes met every other pair in the room until she met the green eyes of Casey. The green and the brown locked and then Riley fell to the ground.

"Riley!" Olivia yelled but Casey was already running towards her.

"Collins Clan...Keegan...Landon...mark..." Riley said and raised her right arm slowly.

She attempted to pull her sleeve up but couldn't so Casey did it for her. The green eye widened when she saw what Riley was trying to show her.

"She's been marked!" Casey yelled to the detectives.

On Riley's right forearm was a burn that had long healed but it was a symbol that the detectives and the ADA had come to know all too well. What looked to be a small plus sign about the size of a half dollar with an arrow on each end. This particular mark had been found on every one of the victims in the case that was most pressing for SVU. Little did they know, this case went so much deeper for Riley than any of them suspected.

"Riley, please stay with me. I need you to keep your eyes open. Stay awake." Casey pleaded.

It was only a few seconds later that Casey could feel a thick warm liquid on her legs. She looked down and saw that it was blood; blood that belonged to the young girl holding tightly to her hand.

"Riley...please hold on. I really need you to stay with me alright? Stay awake. Keep your eyes open." Casey pleaded.

"Thank...you...for...being...there...I've...never...been...loved...before...but...now...I...know...how...it...feels..." Riley said through her pain.

"Oh, honey, you are very loved. We all love you. T.J. loves you. You have to hold on for her. You can't leave her. You can't leave us."

"I'm...so...so...sorry. I...love..." Riley trailed off and closed her eyes.

"Riley? Riley! Open your eyes! Look at me!" the red headed woman pleaded through her tears to the younger girl. "She isn't breathing!" she called to the detective. " Goddamn it, Riley! Breathe! You breathe! Take a goddamn breath! You come back to me right fucking now! Don't you fucking dare leave me!"

Riley didn't open her eyes. She didn't look at the pleading ADA. She didn't take a breath. She was gone.

 **Alright, well, that's it for now. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE let me know what you think. I have gotten very wrapped up in this story and there is so much more to tell but unless I get some reviews I won't be publishing. Tell me what you think and please don't hate me for what just happened with Riley.**


	9. Why Did This Have To Happen?

_**So here is chapter nine. I hope you enjoy it as much as I have enjoyed writing it. I have been making some futuristic plans for Riley and for T.J. and for the SVU family but I would love to know where you see this going or where you would like this to go. Suggestions are always helpful. As always thank you for reading and for the reviews. This story is so very far from over so let's keep it going.**_

 _ **Cragen's Office**_

Cragen sat behind his desk with his head resting in his hands. He was trying desperately to wrap his mind around the events that had taken place in his squad room only eight days ago. His heart was broken and his mind found the whole situation...unbearable.

Just eight days ago, he and his detectives had brought in the girl that could break their latest and biggest case wide open. She was connected to most if not all of the apparent suicides that had taken place in several states and had traveled into their very own backyard. This girl had lived in the homes of at least four of the victims that had committed suicide but everyone knew that it was murder. The four young people whose lives had ended too early had been staged to look like they had taken their own lives but all four of them had been involved in the same life of crime; the Collins Clan. Eight days ago when Riley Westbrook, the girl that had touched the personal life of the captain and his detectives and made Tyler Benson fall in love with her was taken hostage and shot. The things that the gunman had said only proved that the younger brunette was involved with the crime family known as the Collins Clan.

 _"Riley Westbrook was taken hostage by a man with a gun in MY squad room. He entered with a gun, took her into his arms, and she was shot. Is it not bad enough that we had just put her through hell? Was it not possible for her to catch even the smallest break? Did she have to get caught in the middle of something completely out of her control yet again? Did it have to be one of my own detectives that put that bullet in her chest? I wish I could tell her that she is not just another victim. I wish I could tell her that my granddaughter loves her and that she is family now, I wish I could tell her that she isn't alone."_ he thought silently to himself.

The past eight days had been utter hell for the captain, the four detectives, one ADA, and an eighteen year old girl that was beyond special to every one of them. Tyler was in love with Riley Westbrook and everyone knew it. Whether she was their daughter, their niece, or their granddaughter she loved this girl which made the brunette family. Granted they were only eighteen years old and that was seen as too young for love but Tyler was in love with Riley to the point that her eyes gave her away at the simple mention of her name.

Cragen's mind went back to the event that refused to leave anyone's mind. He remembered hearing Olivia, the woman he saw as his daughter and one of his detectives, screaming the younger girls name and seeing all of his detectives go into instant defense mode. A man with shaggy black hair, pale skin, and a gun had his left arm wrapped around Riley's neck and he held a gun to her right temple. He remembered reaching for his gun, pulling it from its holster, and pointing it in the direction of Riley and the bastard that held her at gun point. The anger that formed in his chest and the desperation that pulled at his mind haunted the captain. This man was holding the girl that his granddaughter had fallen in love with; that his daughter and daughter-in-law had made a part of their family and his detectives had come to see the same way they all saw Tyler. The words "cleaning her face off of the wall" haunted Donald Cragen more than anything. He knew from experience that anything a man with a gun says should be taken very seriously and that was not an action he wanted to envision.

He remembered seeing the physical pain in Riley's face and the terror in her eyes. She and the gunman that she called Keegan knew each other. It appeared as though, at one point, Riley trusted the man that held a gun to her head and that broke the heart of the captain.

 _"Why did this have to happen?"_ he asked himself silently as he picked his head up off of his hands and slammed his fists into his desk.

 _ **Squad Room**_

Detective Finn Tutuola thought about the incident from eight days ago as the scent of bleach filled the squad room. The blood that had been spilled was gone but he could still see the puddles on the floor. The two separate puddles had run together but to the detective, they were basically two different colors. The blood of the gunman was black to match his heart and soul and the grime that he was. The blood of Riley was deep red like the passion and power that she held within herself.

 _"Damnit! Riley was innocent! She should not have been in the middle of this! She should not have been left alone! She should not have been in his grasp! The things that were said to her only an hour before that were so harsh and accusing! Did we not see the tears in her eyes? Could we not tell that she was hurting and the things that we were saying only intensified that pain? I can't help but to be happy that Munch got that bastard but I wish it had been me and I wish Riley had not caught that bullet! I wish I could tell her that I would give this case up completely if it could take back what happened to her. I wish I could tell her that I would take that bullet if it meant that she didn't have to. I wish I could tell her that she has a family in us."_

This case was beyond important. It had taken too many victims and now it had taken one that was close to the whole SVU family. Finn was all about the case as a general sense but this was getting way too close to his heart. He saw the regret in his partner, the utter heartbreak in Olivia's soul, the rage in Elliot, the agony in their ADA, the confusion in his captain, and the numbness of his niece.

Finn remembered hearing Casey call out the young girls name and looking up to see the scumbag wrap his arm around her and put that gun to her temple. He felt his gun in his hand before his mind even sent the message for his hand to grab it from its holster. He remembered feeling his heart slam into his chest and his breaths moving through his lungs. He could still feel her terror when he looked at her and their brown eyes locked. He could see her body trembling and he could see the gunman's grip tighten. He blamed himself fully for the pain that Riley was in as it was he who was trying to get closer.

 _"Why did this have to happen?"_ he thought to himself and then stood from his desk with a jolt and threw his stapler across the room.

Elliot Stabler was the closest thing to a brother that Olivia Benson had. He was Casey's brother-in-law and he was T.J.'s Uncle Elliot. Ever since he and Liv had become partners over twenty years ago, he had protected her and watched over her and he always had her back. But this was something that he couldn't protect her from.

 _"Riley Westbrook...I have seen my fair share of victims but this will haunt me for the rest of my life. I have never seen so much fear or agony in the eyes of one person. She had already been through so much in only twenty four hours not even talking into consideration her entire life before. I have fired my weapon too many times to count and I have heard enough gun shots for any one person but the sound of the gunshot and the look on her face will never go away. I see it every time I close my eyes. I cannot imagine how things are for Liv or Casey or...oh, T.J. How will you ever recover from this? I wish I could tell her that there isn't a single one of us that doesn't see her as family now. I wish I could tell her that we love her. I wish I could tell her that she isn't alone anymore and never will be again."_

It was the usual tactic hammered into a detectives head all the way back to the academy to surround your target. The detectives as a group were doing exactly what they had been taught to do but the gunman saw right through their plan. Elliot remembered the sound of the man's voice saying that he was going to blow Riley's face on the wall and it was in that instant that he had to stop himself from pulling the trigger without a clear shot. He wanted the bastard dead but not at the cost that was paid. He remembered hearing his partner yell Riley's name and seeing his sister-in-law start to run to the young girls side.

 _"Why did this have to happen?" he_ asked himself silently before raking all of the paperwork on his desk into the floor with a angry motion.

Olivia Benson joined the SVU over twenty years ago. During her years with the squad she obtained three brothers, a father figure, a girlfriend turned wife of twenty years, a beautiful daughter with a bright future ahead of her, and a life that she never imagined she would get or even deserved. The cases were hard to deal with, some more than others, and the case load was sometimes overwhelming but she loved the work that she did. She loved seeing the look of relief and calmness after a perp was convicted. She loved that she was able to take the monsters and the bad guys and the horrible people and bring them to justice. What she didn't love was losing a victim or watching as they reached a point where they couldn't get back from. Some victims never recovered from their attacks or their assaults or their rapes. She herself was still dealing with an assault that happened many years ago. She hated the look in the eyes of the victim when they were face to face with the people that caused them harm. Their fear and their agony haunted her. Their eyes haunted her for days even weeks after a case was closed. But, as of eight days ago, there was a set of chocolate brown eyes that would never leave her mind. No words could describe what Riley's eyes held but they would always be in the mind of the detective.

 _"I just stood there with my gun in my hand knowing in the back of my mind that I would never fire as long as she was standing in front of him. I just stood there and watching him as he got ready to pull the trigger. She looked completely terrified. If I had just gotten my shit together and gotten at a better angle then I could've taken that shot and the bullet never would have touched her. She was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Or was she? Did he know where she was? Had he been following her? Did the Collins Clan follow her here? FUCK! WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE HER?"_

Olivia tried to get the actions of the shooting out of her mind but failed. It was there when she slept. It was there when she was awake. It was there when she drank coffee. It was there when she was at work. It was there when she was at home. She remembered Casey running over to Riley after she fell onto the floor. Riley was trying so hard to talk to the ADA but only a few words managed to pass her lips. The memory of blood coming from her mouth as she spoke played on repeat in the mind of the detective. She remembered her wife helping the younger girl pull up her right sleeve to show that she had been marked by the Collin's Clan. The most haunting thing about the entire situation was the conversation between her wife and Riley. Olivia remembered hearing the desperation in her wife's voice and the gurgle of Riley's as she very slowly replied.

 _"Riley Westbrook, I remember how it felt to be alone and to feel like no one was there for you. I can only hope that you knew that you were no longer alone the moment you made all of us fall in love with you. You are the kindest, most generous, and the most compassionate person that I have ever met. There is not a single doubt in my mind that you and T.J. would have been each other's forever. I know that you would have loved her and protected her and done anything she needed for the rest of your life. There is nothing more beautiful than seeing love bloom between two people who are so innocently in love that no one else even exists and that is what everyone sees when they look at you and T.J. Riley, you have always been a fighter and a warrior and a survivor and I envy you for that. Even as a child, you were stronger than I COULD EVER be. You have changed my life forever and you have done so for the better. I'm having serious trouble wrapping my mind around all of this. WHY THE FUCK WAS HE HERE? WHY THE FUCK WAS HE AFTER YOU? HOW THE FUCK DID HE KNOW YOU WERE HERE? WHAT THE FUCK WAS HE TALKING ABOUT? WHAT DEBT DID YOU OWE? WHY THE FUCK DID MUNCH TAKE THAT GODDAMN SHOT?"_ Olivia thought silently to herself as she paced around in the locker room before turning on her heel and ramming her fist into a locker seven times before Elliot came in and stopped her.

 _ **Benson Residence; Tyler's Bedroom**_

Tyler lay in her bed staring silently at the ceiling listening to A Thousand Years by Christina Perri. She had hardly left her bed, let alone her bed room and never the house since her parents came home and told her that Riley had been taken hostage and shot in the squad room. The room where her mom, Uncle Elliot, Uncle Finn, Uncle Munch, her grandpa, and her momma worked was one of the places that she had grown up. It was her mom's other home; where she was when she wasn't at home. This room was the place where she took her first steps trying to get a donut that her uncle Elliot had in his hand. This room was the place where she came after her first day of school to be met by her family and they all wanted to know how her day went and what she learned and if she made friends. This was the room where she got into trouble at the age of six because she had learned to read and was reading a report that her mom was typing up. This was the room where she spent part of her Christmas holiday and spring break. She was raised in this room and it was always one of the places that she felt truly safe. This was the room, however, where the girl that she loved was taken hostage and shot in the chest by her uncle Munch. Deep down she knew that he was doing what needed to be done but she hated him for it.

The song on her phone changes to My Hands by Leona Lewis.

"And I do all of the things

I have to keeping you off my mind

But when I think I'll be alright

I'm always wrong cause

My hands

Don't wanna start again

My hands

No they don't wanna understand

My hands

They just shake and try to break

Whatever peace I may find

My hands

They only agree to hold

Your hands

And they don't wanna be without

Your hands

And they will not let me go

No they will not let me go" the song rang in Tyler's ears.

"I can't stop crying. My chest hurts and there isn't even a bullet in mine. I try to catch my breath but the sobs take over my entire body. I wish that you would walk through my bedroom door, scoop me up into your arms, and tell me that all of this was just a bad dream. But you can't." Tears began to spill down her cheeks. "I wish I could tell you that my heart threatens to explode through my chest every time you're near me and that my breath catches in my throat when you touch me even if it is by accident. I wish I could tell you that your cologne gets me higher than any drug ever could and that I bought some just to spray on my pillow so I could smell you at night and pretend that I'm holding you. I wish that I could tell you that I am so very in love with you and that I want to be with you forever. I'm an idiot for being such a girl; a childish girl. Uncle Finn came to talk to me but I couldn't talk to him. He kept calling me "pistol" which is what he has called me my entire life. I'm not sure why but hearing him call me that just broke my heart even more. I guess that when it rains it really does pour. Uncle Munch came and he just kept apologizing. He cried and that man does not cry. I yelled at him; told him to get away from me and that I didn't want to see him. I know that what happened is not his fault but I can't hide the anger I feel towards him. Uncle Elliot came by and in true Uncle Elliot fashion, he didn't say anything he just came in and wrapped me in a bear hug. This was not wise because all it did was make me cry that much harder. I have cried so much that I should be out of tears by now but they just keep coming." She blew her nose into a tissue and threw it towards the trash can which was overflowing with tissues.

"Now as you're holding me

My heart is reminding me

That now I could never be without you

But how can our love succeed

A miracle is what we need

And so I appeal to you

Keep me suspended in time with you

Don't let this moment die

I get a feeling when I'm with you

None of the rules apply

But I know for certain

Good bye is a crime

So love if you need me

Suspend me in time" the song changed again.

"I need you to come back to me, Riley. You see, I love you more than I have ever loved another person. You have become a part of my everyday life. I see you, I text you, I call you, you hold me, you look at me, you kiss me, I love you and I need you. Please come back. I want to go to prom with you and to graduate with you and take every step into my future with you by my side. I don't want to spend my life without you so I need you to come back to me. Please don't leave me..." she said aloud as her mom and momma stood outside her bedroom door listening.

Olivia and Casey looked at each other, both with tears in their eyes. They had been trying to comfort their daughter, to talk to her, to just be there for her but she would not allow it. The only words that she had truly spoken in eight days were words of anger towards Munch when he tried to explain everything to her. She stayed in her room, barely ate anything, and she listened to music all day and night. Music was a large part of Riley Westbrook so it made sense to the two women that their daughter would turn to music after what happened.

Captain Donald Cragen knocked on the white wooden door with "T.J." painted on the top part. He wasn't surprised when he didn't get an answer. He cracked the door open and peeked around it to see his granddaughter laying on her bed listening to music and crying her eyes out.

"Oh, T.J., honey how long have you been laying here like this?" he thought silently to himself.

" She looks up at the night sky and she sees something that none of us can even imagine. I honestly believe that she shares a personality with the moon and the stars. She hides parts of herself from everyone for a while but then there comes the time when she shines brighter than the sun. Captain, when she is just singing in the car or when she looks over at me with that glow in her eyes, she fills with passion and fire and she is confident and fearless. Its times like that when she shines like the full moon. It's in that moment when her beautiful soul is exposed and overpowers all of her shadows."

"We are all lost and angry and upset, honey. Tyler, I have loved you since the moment your moms told me that I was going to be a grandfather. I remember it like it was yesterday. I remember your first word and your first steps and your first day of school and the day that you told us that you liked girls. I remember times when you screamed Casey Novak and when you were Olivia Benson made over. But I also remember when Erin did what she did and you were in the same place that you are now. What is so different about Riley?" he asked.

"Captain, there are people in this world that bring out the worst in you and those that bring out your best. Riley is one in a million because she is one of those few people that you find remarkably addictive in the best way possible. Sure, she has her bad days when she is down and sad and just in need of a smile but it doesn't stop her from making the world shine just by simply existing. She makes me feel so alive and so amazing. She gives my existence meaning. I am addicted to her in every way. I want and need her more than any addict needs drugs or sex. I would follow her to the deepest darkest pit of hell just so that I can continue getting my fix of her. I want and need her the same way I do oxygen. I get a feeling very similar to suffocating when she isn't around. She is my life. Hell, maybe we aren't written in the damn stars and our destinies aren't intertwined together. Maybe we were never meant to work at all but what if we were? What if this crazy ass path that we are walking down is exactly where we are supposed to be? Maybe this is exactly what we need to figure out that we are in fact meant to be."

 _ **Office of ADA Casey Benson**_

Casey sat in her office staring blankly at the paperwork on her desk. She knew that there were words on the paper in front of her and she knew that she should be reading the words but she couldn't clear her mind in order to do so. The haunting sound of a gunshot rung in her ears and the sensation of running still burned at her legs and the warm feeling of blood still stuck to her knees. The tears still burned at her green eyes and the tortured brown eyes still stared at her. Casey had not slept since Riley had been shot. The first night, she and Olivia had sat up with T.J. as she cried over her girlfriend. The second night she lay in bed and listened to the quiet crying and the moaning of her wife lying next to her in bed. If by some chance she was able to doze off, she was only out long enough to see the entire scene in her mind yet again or she would just see Riley laying on the floor in a pool of her own blood and hear her own voice pleading for the young girl to stay with her. Casey was being tortured by her memory.

 _"We grilled her just an hour before a bullet went into her chest! We grilled her and pushed her and broke her right after we had just gained her trust. I do not usually deal with the victims until it is time for court but Riley wasn't just a victim. She was a friend and a girlfriend and a member of the family. Don, Finn, Munch, Elliot...they all let her into their heart and she instantly became a member of the SVU family as well as the Benson family. She is supposed to graduate in May! She is supposed to go to prom! She is supposed to sing and play guitar and laugh and love! She was not supposed to be taken hostage and shot!"_

Casey was tormented by the gurgling sound of Riley's voice as she tried to give the red haired ADA pieces of the Collin's Clan puzzle. Even after a bullet went into her chest she was trying to do the right thing and help with the justice. The sound of her own voice begging and pleading with the younger brunette to stay awake and to keep her eyes open and to stay with her ran through her mind. She remembered the grip that Riley had on her hand and how it seemed that her very existence depended on her hand holding Casey's. Riley told her thank you for being there and then there were the words that repeated all day everyday in her mind; "I'm sorry. I love...". She remembered Riley closing her eyes and she remembered screaming at the younger girl to open her eyes, to look at her, to take a breath...but she didn't. Casey had been walking around since that day with her hand in a fist trying desperately to feel Riley holding onto it but all she could remember was the sudden rush of cold air as her grip faded and her hand released the hand of the ADA.

 _"THIS IS NOT FAIR! YOU HAVE SO MUCH LEFT TO DO! YOU HAVE SO MUCH LIFE TO LIVE! GODDAMN IT RILEY!_ You have the ability to walk into a room and charm every person standing in it. You make imprints on peoples' hearts that will never go away or fade. _You should not have been shot You are supposed to give you and my daughter a real shot. You are supposed to stop running from everyone and start running to someone. You are supposed to make T.J. laugh and smile and happy. You are supposed to drive her crazy with that smirk of yours and have random conversations with her that no one else can follow because they are so unfocused but she understands because your minds are in tune. You are supposed to understand that we are your family and that we love you and you are supposed to let us in and love us in return. You are supposed to overcome all of the terrible things that you have been through and be able to walk around with a smile on your face. You are supposed to live your life, be it with T.J. or whoever. You are just supposed to live! Why didn't you open your eyes? Why didn't you stay the fuck awake? WHY DIDN'T YOU TAKE A GODDAMN BREATH? WHY THE FUCK DID YOU HAVE TO LEAVE US?"_ Casey said aloud as she paced around her office unaware that the SVU detectives were standing in her doorway.

Tears flooded her cheeks and her heart throbbed with pain and adrenaline. Her heart was broken and her soul was lost. Her mind was racing and her body just could not take it any longer. Her legs gave out and she collapsed onto the floor. Casey slammed her fists against the concrete floor as hard as her exhausted body would allow her to but was quickly stopped by her wife, who along with captain Cragen, and her brother-in-law, had joined her in the floor of her office.

"Liv, I cannot keep doing this. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I sure as hell can't be an attorney. What it the hell are we supposed to do now? I love that girl. T.J. loves that girl. We all love that girl. Where the fuck do we go from here?" Casey asked through her tears.

"We go to the hospital. They just called. Riley is finally awake." Olivia said quietly as she gently wiped the tears from her wife's reddened cheeks.


	10. The Hospital Stay

_**Bellevue Medical Center; Cardiac Unit; 8:25 a.m.**_

Riley's eyes fluttered open, first the right and then followed by the left. She opened her brown eyes, shut them tightly, and then opened them completely. She could faintly hear the muffled sound of a beeping and the whispers of people around herself. She laid there and listened trying to take in what they were saying but the voices sound as though they were in a tunnel and their words were hard to make out.

"Bullet hole...heart...blood...eight days" were all words that the young brunette could make out but nothing concrete.

 _"Where in the hell am I? What the hell happened? Why the hell can't I move?"_ she wondered silently to herself.

"Hey, you're awake again." she heard a distorted but familiar voice say.

 _"I'm awake again? Have I been asleep long?" Riley wondered to herself._

"Riley, my name is Doctor Hughes. I did your surgery and have been monitoring your progress for the past eight days." a tall man said as he looked down at her.

 _"Eight days, surgery, what the fuck happened?"_ she wondered.

A groan escaped her throat but nothing that could be considered a word. Her mind felt like she had been frozen for twenty years, her body felt like she had been run over and then backed over and then run over again. She had gathered that she was in the hospital but had no idea how she got there or why she was there.

"Hey, you. You had us all pretty worried there for a minute." Olivia said softly as she leaned over into the younger brunette's line of vision.

"I...wh...ha..." Riley tried to speak but couldn't.

"Do you remember anything that happened?" the detective asked.

"No..."

"Riley, some of this maybe a little hard for you to hear and it may take a while for everything to come back to you completely. Eight days ago you were taken hostage by a man named Keegan Collins. He held a gun to your head and threatened to shoot you. Just as he was about to pull the trigger, Detective Munch shot him from behind. The bullet went through Mr. Collin's and into your chest. We thought that we had lost you but you managed to hold on until you got to the hospital. You were rushed into emergency surgery and the bullet was taken out. The doctors say that the road is going to be very hard but they don't see any reason why you won't survive. Unless, of course, Casey or T.J. manage to kill you for scaring them as badly as you did." Olivia cracked a small smile.

"I...didn't...mean...to." Riley managed her first sentence groggily.

"Oh, honey, we all know that you didn't mean to. I was only kidding. I guess right now isn't the best time for jokes but that's part of my defense. I turn to humor when I'm upset or scared or worried. I happen to know that you do the same thing." Olivia said with a half smile.

"I...hurt..." Riley muttered.

"I can imagine that you do. Apparently you are hooked up to some sort of a pain machine. The nurse told me what to do but I honestly don't remember."

"Push the button by her side and the pain medicine will get in her system via IV." a voice called from the doorway.

"Warner...what are you doing here?" Olivia asked.

"I have that file that you asked me to look over and I needed to check up on your girl here. How are you doing Riley?" Warner asked.

"Ow..." was the younger girls answer causing the detective and the ME to laugh.

"I've never been shot before but I can imagine it hurts like hell. I hear that you have made quite the impression on the detective's and the captain and T.J... You do understand that girl is a very important person to everyone at the 1-6 and you would do well to..."

"Warner, she has been more than warned about the...effects of hurting my daughter." Olivia said as she smiled at the ME.

"Did she threaten you?" Warner asked Riley.

"Not officially." Riley answered with a small smile.

"I better get back to the precinct. I know that you guys are taking shifts here so please pass on the message that I will be back later. And you," she pointed at the younger brunette "keep fighting and stay strong. I've heard things about you Riley Westbrook and not a single bad thing. It's not in your character to give up and we all know that. If you are anything like the good detective here though, you are as stubborn as they come and won't listen to the doctors. You. Listen. To. The. Doctors."

 _ **Bellevue Hospital; Cardiac Unit; 9:45 a.m.**_

"Liv?" Elliot called from the doorway waiting for a response before entering the room.

"Come on in, El." Olivia answered.

"How is the patient doing?" he asked.

"She is sleeping. Apparently she is allergic to morphine so they switched her to Demerol. Morphine makes her very sick to her stomach after she is done hallucinating. I spent a good thirty minutes trying to convince her that there was no clowns in this room. She is afraid of clowns just like Casey. She has been asleep for about twenty minutes and the nurse said it would be better to just let her sleep." Olivia explained. "How is it going in court?"

"Troy Avery was found guilty of attempted rape in the second degree, assault in the second degree, and assault in the first degree. He will be put away for a very long time." Elliot answered.

"That is probably the best thing I have heard in a week." Olivia smiled sleepily.

"Liv, go home and get some sleep. You look like hell."

"Thanks, partner." she said as she gave him a shit eating grin.

Olivia put her hand on top of the younger brunette's and gave it a gentle squeeze. She leaned over and kissed Riley on the forehead and whispered "I love you". She turned to her partner, hugged him, and whispered "take care of her." in his ear.

 _ **Bellevue Hospital; Cardiac Unit; 10:35 a.m.**_

"Why do I feel like there is a two hundred pound weight on my chest?" Riley asked in a sleepy voice.

"Maybe because a bullet got lodged in there and the nice doctor had to go fishing it out?" Fin answered.

"Always the joker, minus the scars and white make-up of course." Riley replied with a smirk.

"Nice to see you got your sense of humor again, rock star. Besides the added chest weight, how are you feeling?"

"I'm thirsty and kind of hungry, actually."

"I'll get you a T-Bone and Jack on the rocks sent right over." Fin said through a laugh.

"I doubt I will be having anything greasy or alcoholic any time soon...unfortunately." Riley mumbled the last word.

"Liv was here earlier. She said to tell you that she, Casey, and Pistol love ya'."

"Can I ask why you call her that?"

"When T.J. was growing up she had a bit of a smart mouth on her. We all joked that she could make a suspect crack if she had the chance. But, she was quick with her comebacks. She didn't really think about what she was going to say in retaliation; it just kind of came to her. Up until she was about nine, if a thought entered her mind then it came out of her mouth. She was quick on the comeback so I started calling her Pistol and it just stuck."

"I'm glad she has you in her family Detective. You strike me as the cool uncle while Munch is the weirdo and Elliot is the stern "on her mom's side" uncle. I mean, she can talk to you and you will listen and give her advice without telling Olivia or Casey."

"You know what? I'm glad she has a girlfriend like you. You strike me as a cool cat that is slicker than grease but you aren't a slime ball." he replied with a smile.

 _ **Bellevue Hospital; Cardiac Unit; 11:25 a.m.**_

"Riley Westbrook, you are a complete mess. Look at you...a hole in your back and a bandage on your chest. Scars and cuts on your arm and more scars on your heart and soul. Riley, you have a whole family that loves you and cares about you and worries about you. I love you. Elliot and Fin love you. Munch and Warner love you. Olivia and Casey love you. Most importantly, Tyler Jane Benson loves you. We all worry about you because we care about you. That's what happens when someone makes the kind of impression that you do. You have the ability to walk into a room and charm every person standing in it. You make imprints on peoples' hearts that will never go away or fade. You are an adventurer, a hopeless romantic, a fighter to the death for what you believe in, a survivor, a knight in shining armor, a hero, and your own villain. Olivia was the same exact way. She took out the anger and frustration that she had with herself out on our perps and her co-workers occasionally. There is so much about you that you keep hidden from the world that makes you so very beautiful." Captain Don Cragen said to the sleeping brunette.

"I don't know what to think or how to think or how to process the thoughts that swim around in my head. That is all a part of bottling everything that I feel. I keep everything tucked away deep inside myself because that is the safest place to hide it. I don't want pity or tears on my behalf because of what I have seen or been through. No one has ever known who I really am. Hell, I don't fucking know who I really am so how can anyone else? I'm so scared that if they knew even a fraction of the inner me, they would run the other direction. No one knows how truly broken I am because no one knows my story. I am a living, breathing, real life monster. I hoped that no one would ever find out about all of this. I knew that if anyone ever found out, everything would change. No one ever needed to see what I do to myself…" Riley whispered in return.

"We see all too clearly, Riley. My detectives are very good at their job and I know of one off the top of my head that knew you before she saw your scars because she was looking at herself. Everything that Olivia Benson has been through has made her the person that she is today. I have no doubt that you will be the very same way. You are already protective, respectful, polite, disciplined, and grounded. For an eighteen year old girl, that is pretty amazing...just like said eighteen year old girl." the captain said with a warming smile. "I thought that you were asleep."

"I find that sleep is highly overrated, captain. I slept for eight days and if it wasn't for the damn pain medicine, I wouldn't be in and out as I have been." she said sleepily, her eyes fluttering.

"Get some sleep, rock star. Clearly you're in need."

 _ **Bellevue Hospital; Cardiac Unit; 12:10 p.m.**_

"Riley is the most beautiful person I have ever seen. Of course she is beautiful to look at but I mean she is beautiful to really see. She has the most unique way of seeing the world and the way her mind works is remarkable. She thinks that graffiti belongs in a gallery and that she can change the world which I really don't doubt. To hear and see her when she talks about something she loves is like seeing the purest of joys. She has the ability to make people smile even when though she is walking the thin line between hell and rock bottom. She is made up of words that no one will ever understand. Her mind is the thickest forest of doubt and her heart is the deepest ocean of despair. She is the most beautiful song, the most loving poem, and the most romantic novel. She has the purest of all the broken souls. It will take years to understand her and only a few seconds to love her but you will never forget her." the younger brunette heard Olivia's words getting louder and quieter as she paced around the room.

"Liv, honey, I need to know that you aren't getting too deep in this. I know that you see yourself when you look at her but she isn't you. Baby, you grew up with an abusive and alcoholic mother and that took its toll on you and nobody doubts that. Riley is completely different, though. She grew up in so many different places...in so many different hells. Raped, molested, neglected, abandoned, abused in every sense of the word. I know that you want to save her more than you can explain. I know that you believe that if you save her then you are, in some way, saving yourself. But, you know as well as I do that she has to want to be saved if your efforts are going to do any good. She has to realize that she needs to be saved and that she has the strength to save herself. You had to find that same strength, Olivia. You have to give her the opportunity to do the same thing. Just be patient with her, honey." Casey replied honestly.

"I am not too deep in this, Case. I do see myself in Riley but I also see Riley. I see a young girl who has had the life that we fight against every single day. I see a young girl that has had to fight just to survive. I see a young girl that has never known family or love or want. The definition of a person has nothing to do with how many times they fall or how they got there or why there are down. The true definition of a person is how splendidly they rise after they have fallen and found the strength to get back up. From what I have seen and from what I have heard, she not only gets back up but she jumps to her feet and she comes up swinging. She is the type of person that I strive to be every single day. I love her because T.J. loves her. I love her because you love her. I love her because she is Riley Westbrook."

"I heard one time that you actually die twice. The first time is when you take your very last breath which kills you physically and then there is the time that the one that you hold closest to your heart says your name for the last time. That is the time when your very soul dies. No, I am not saying that I want to die but I did want to at several points in my life. A very wise woman told me that I would still be stuck in this shit hole until my soul died and if that was the case then what was the point in killing myself? There have been things that have happened in my life that I am far from proud of and then there were things that were completely out of my control. The things that I'm not proud of have either been nights that I was so drunk or so high that I don't even remember what happened or they are things that I have done that have left scars. The thing is, someone can count every single scar that I have on my arm but the scars that are on my heart are triple the ones that can be seen. All of the things that I had no control over are the things that put the scars on my heart. I have spent most of my life shutting people out and refusing to love anyone because of all the shit that I've been through." Riley chimed in.

"Who the hell did this to you? Who the fuck messed you up so damn bad emotionally and mentally to the point that you wouldn't let any of us in or allow any of us to help you? You don't tell anyone how you feel or what you're thinking, you push everyone away when you feel like they are getting too close to you, and you just shut down. You refuse to let anyone help you and you won't let anyone in. I want to know who in the fuck did this to you!" Casey yelled in anger.

"Who the fuck didn't do this to me?" Riley answered in a quiet tone.

"Every bad thing that has happened to you is in your past, rock star. There is no forgetting it and no deleting it. You can learn from it and push from the feeling that it gives you in the pit of your stomach. When you fell those urges and the negativity swims around freely in your mind, you have to take that feeling and put it towards something that is constructive, not destructive. I will help you and I can handle everything you can fucking throw at me. I want you to do something for me, too. I promise to help you and to stay and to listen but you have to stop hiding from us and let us in. You have to promise to try other things and to stop cutting. You have to promise to fight the urges when you want to cut with everything that you have. You have to put light back in those big ass brown eyes of yours. You stay the hell away from razor blades and other sharp objects. You have to trust and believe that things will get better. You are strong, beautiful, talented, and loved Riley Westbrook. Don't you ever forget that. You have to promise me, here and now, that you will not give up. No more cutting, no more hating, no more fake smiles or forced laughs, and no more hiding. One day you will be able to look back on everything and be able to smile as you say that you made it. You, my rock star, will win your war. I will not save you but I will stand behind you and beside you as you save yourself. You can do this, Jay. You need to understand that you are not alone anymore. I will never stop fighting by your side. I will be damned if you ever feel the way you have ever again. You will sincerely smile, cry tears of joy, feel pride in yourself, and you will win." Olivia said with a strong and determined demeanor.

"You know what is truly fucking terrifying; the fact that I could literally change my life at any given time. I could stop talking to every single fucking person in my life that makes me negative. I could kiss any and every fucking girl that I feel the want to do so. I could shave my goddamn head or get on a mother fucking plane and not tell anyone where I'm going or I could take my own life. Nothing is stopping me from doing any of these fucking things. The entire world is in my goddamn hands and I have no fucking idea what to do with it. So, what makes you so sure about everything?" Riley asked.

"Because I have been there on more than one occasion. I had Casey and Elliot to help me. They didn't understand the situation as well as you and I but they were there for me. When I felt the urges in my gut, the negativity in my mind, the doubt, the pain, the overwhelming darkness...they were there for me. I could call Elliot and he would talk to me until I fell asleep. I could call Casey and she would leave whatever she was doing so that she could be with me. Some days she would just hold me until I found the light again. No matter what they did, they were both there for me. You have the entire 1-6 there for you...and a particular girl who thinks that the sun rises and sets simply because you exist." Olivia answered.

Riley smiled a sincere smile as tears ran down her face. She rubbed her eyes with her fingers and refused to make eye contact with either the detective or the ADA. The two older women exchanged a knowing look before they walked over to the younger girl and sat on each side of her. Olivia held Riley's hand in her own and made comforting circles on it with her thumb as Casey held Riley close to her. Both Olivia and Casey were surprised when Riley melted into the motherly embrace of the red haired woman. The younger girl wrapped her arms around Casey Benson and cried into her shoulder until she fell asleep once again.

 _ **Bellevue Hospital; Cardiac Unit, 6:35 p.m.**_

Riley laid in her hospital bed sound asleep. There were no nightmares haunting her, no doubt in her mind, no darkness in her heart. She hadn't slept soundly in such a long time...never in fact. There was a very familiar voice in her dreams but she soon realized the voice was in her reality.

"What I am trying to say is that I love you more than I ever have or ever will love anyone. I cannot picture my life without you in it. I want to be with you now, forever, and all of the time in between. You completes me. You make me happier than I ever thought was possible. You and I have made a million memories together that we can look back on and smile at one another when we are older. Even through the silent smile, we will understand where the others mind is. I know that with the current situation things are hard and chances are things are only going to get harder but I want you to know that I am yours. I want to be with you through the hard, the harder, the hardest, and all of the good that we earn. I never thought that I could love somebody as much as I love you, but I do. I love you with everything I ever have been, everything I am, and everything that I will be. Twenty years from now that will still hold true. We will face our days head on, I will hold you close to me at night, whisper my love into your ear, and spend every moment of everyday showing you how much you mean to me. You are my soul mate and I love you more than I will ever be able to fully express. I love you more than all of the love songs ever written, more than every love story in history. I can tell you for a fact, and even promise, that you will never have a second thought or doubt about my love for you." Tyler confessed showing a side of herself that she had desperately been hiding from girlfriend.

Tyler had no idea that her entire family was standing in the hallway of the hospital listening to every word that she was saying. All she knew was that her girlfriend and the love of her life was laying in the hospital with a hole in her chest, tearing in her heart, and death slowly backing away from her. The days when her condition was unstable were excruciating for Tyler. To look at Riley now, she felt relief and fear but also more love than she had ever felt in her life. She knew without a shadow of a doubt that this girl, as broken and bruised as she was, would be the girl that she would spend her entire life loving.

"You look like you're asleep. You look like you're getting the best sleep of your life. I thought I'd lost you, you know. I have never been more afraid in my entire life and my entire family lives with the possibility of dying on duty every day. You got very lucky this time. There better not ever be a next time. I need you to never, ever scare me like that again. I don't know what I would do if I lost you, Riley. I love you so much." Tyler said with tears in her eyes.

"I love you, too." Riley whispered in return as she reached up and wiped the tears from her girlfriends face.


	11. Riley's Confession

Riley had been discharged from the hospital two weeks ago and though she wanted to go back to her own house, that was not even an option. She was released and was taken back to the Benson residence where she had someone to take care of her. Olivia had taken the first week off from work and then Casey took off for the second week. Tyler was sent back to school despite her protests. She went to school and, after softball practice, would come straight home to check on her love. The days consisted of Riley talking with Casey and Olivia, depending on which of the two were home at the time, and doing therapy so that she could get back to her normal self. In the two weeks that she had been at the home of her girlfriend and her parents, Riley had not cut herself. The urges were still there, even more so as she found herself in such a position that she could not fully take care of herself. She talked to Olivia about that situation more than she spoke with Casey as the detective understood the situation more.

"I walk around every day on the verge of tears that I simply refuse to allow to fall because I will not have anyone looking at me like I am weak. I have been dealing with all of this for so long that it isn't even a challenge anymore to hide it all and to make it look like that I am perfectly fine when I know that I'm not. I have been faking smiles and forcing laughs for as long as I can remember. I have always felt like an outcast or an outsider. I have never really belonged anywhere or with anyone. I have always been a runner and I am terrified that I will always be a runner. I run away when things get too serious or when someone starts getting too close. I panic and then I disappear. I leave no word and I do not reach out." Riley confessed to Olivia.

"I cannot believe your story. I love how you have fought, fallen, risen, and survived. The heart of a warrior beats in that tiny body of yours. I love how you look at the world and face it without any hesitation. You have walked on broken glass through the very pits of hell and yet you stand strong with your head held high. You have died inside too many times to count and still you live to make others happy. You have had your heart ripped from your chest and you have lost everything…you stand for something so strong. I need you to know that you aren't alone anymore. I am standing with you now and forever. Riley Westbrook is a survivor and that makes me very proud to call you my family." Olivia said with a set of new eyes. "I remember feeling that way. You are sad but you have no idea why. You feel empty and nothing fills that void. People ask you what is wrong with you but you can't answer. Sometimes they don't ask you anything at all and you feel like you don't matter. I don't know which is worse. You miss someone you have never met and you need someone that doesn't even know you exist. Loneliness weighs on your mind and your heart but you honestly don't give a shit anymore. You isolate yourself and sadness becomes your best friend. You start hating yourself even more and just want to be left alone but at the same time you want to be loved and for just one person to care. It's very confusing to feel so much and to have no damn idea what it is you are feeling."

"I know that it seems as though you understand and deep down I want to believe that you really do care. I have had so many different 'parents' that were supposed to care but they never did. Some of them even went as far as to make me comfortable and excited to be in their home before their evil took hold. I have so many trust issues because of that. I do not trust easily and I do not trust lightly. I numbed myself to all emotion except for anger. I didn't connect with anyone except sexually and even then I didn't connect on a high level. Ninety percent of the time I didn't even know their name and I sure as hell never called them the next day. No one was ever going to hurt me again. I keep wondering how differently everything would have turned out if you had never seen my scars that night when you came to my house to check on me, you know? What if you had never seen my condition? What if you hadn't been the type of person that could relate to what I have been through and what I'm going through? I sure wouldn't be sitting here right now talking to you so openly." she paused and looked down at the scars that she exposed without hesitation for the first time in her life.

Riley's gaze directed towards the badge belonging to the detective on the table in front of the couch. The golden glow reflected into her eyes and the shine reminded her of the shine of a blade. Though Olivia knew exactly what that glow filled the younger brunette's mind with, she didn't interrupt the concentration that Riley had; the honesty that she was expelling.

"They are the times when I was afraid of everything and the realizations that I was never good enough. They are every insult and every put down and a reminder of every time I screwed up or wasn't good enough. They are a part of me and the urges are as well. My blades are a security blanket of sorts. I know that no matter what happens during my day, they will always be waiting for me when I get home. I can count on them in a way that I could never count on any person. They can't walk out on me and they won't leave me or abandon me. They will always want me and I can always count on them. After so long, I grew to love my pain. I craved the release that blades gave me. I became afraid of getting better. I have dealt with my shit this way for so long that I can barely remember life without it. I don't want to remember life before it. Without my demons, I have nothing."

"Do you believe that I wasn't just as scared as you? Do you think that I don't worry about what's coming? I face this head on every single day just like you, Riley. When you were in the hospital, I felt like it was my own child that was laying there in that hospital bed. The medicine, the feedings, the exercise, the pain, the blank expression on your face, and the silence; nothing but fucking silence!" Olivia began. "There was no singing or insults tossed between friends! There was no humming of guitar chords as you and Tyler study or tapping of your foot as you listen to music. There was nothing but mother fucking silence. You laid in that goddamn bed all day every fucking day when you should have been bouncing around the house or running or throwing a ball." she took in a deep breath. "I wanted you to open up to me and to trust me! I wanted you to be comfortable with us and I wanted you to be happy whether you were with T.J. or not! I wanted to understand your pain on a much deeper level and I wanted to help you deal with it! I wanted you to feel that I love you, that Casey loves you, and that T.J. loves you! I missed your laugh and that damn half smile you get in the left corner of your mouth when you are planning something! I just wanted to hear your fucking voice! I wanted to hear you say one goddamn word! I wanted to hear you say anything! I wanted you to open your fucking eyes and to look at me! I wanted our Riley back!" she yelled with tears streaming down her face. "One little bitty tiny word is all that I was asking for! I didn't think that was too fucking much to ask for. I love you very much, Riley Westbrook. You have made such a difference in the life that I lead. You have changed my life, Casey's life, and T.J.'s life forever. My daughter is convinced that she will spend her entire life loving you and I do not doubt that for a second. I'm going to have to request that you do not run away from her or any of us for that matter. We love you. We want you. We need you, Riley."

Olivia had taken the conversation that she had shared with the younger brunette and shared it with Detective Munch. He had been moping around for nearly an entire month over what had happened...over what he had done. It was because of this that Olivia shared the conversation with him. It was because of the things that she had been told by Riley that made her think that he could relate to the depressed girl much more than he had already. It was because of the conversation between the two detectives that Munch had made the decision to go over to the Benson residence to have a talk with Riley.

The elder detective and the younger brunette had gone into the living room so that their conversation would be more comfortable and a bit more private. John Munch had decided to approach this conversation much differently than when he had tried to talk to Tyler. He had gone in with nothing but apologies, but this time he would do more listening and less talking.

"Detective Munch, I know that you did what you needed to do. I still don't remember what happened. I'm only getting bits and pieces but I do know that the situation was impossible and what you did allowed me to continue breathing rather than having my brain matter scrubbed off the precinct walls." Riley began the conversation, surprising the detective.

"Riley, that was gruesome but understandable. I do apologize for what happened. I nearly killed you by putting a bullet in a man who held the same intention. He was going to shoot you in the head but I was not going to allow that to happen. I am no stranger to loss, you see. When I was a child, my father killed himself. That is why I chose SVU. I knew that if I could help just one child, if I could be there for just one victim, or if I could be the rock that is needed for just one person, then I was doing something that my father wasn't able to do. I am no stranger to death. I am not afraid of death. I welcome the inevitable end...and I get the feeling that you are the exact same way." he replied as he looked down at the scars on Riley's left forearm. "I want you to know that Olivia and Casey and T.J. are not the only ones that you can turn to when you are lost in your darkness. I have been in the dark before as well and I know what it's like to be so very lost in it but to be content in being lost all at the same time. I want to help you. I want you to let me help you. I want to watch you rise like a Phoenix from the ashes. I want to see you smile like you mean it and to hear you laugh so loudly that the walls shake. I want to see your eyes light up even when a certain girl isn't in the room. I want to see confidence in your posture and I want to watch you walk with a sense of certainty. I want you to strive, Riley. I want you to be able to fight your urges and to be your own light in your darkness. I really want to help you to do all of this but you have to let me."

"Some of this is going to be very hard for you to hear and most of it you won't even understand but you want to help me so I feel like I need to tell you. I cut myself in an attempt to kill the monster inside my head. I kill my inner mental pain with external physical pain. Even if the pain only goes away for a few minutes, it's a break that I need. All of my scars, both old and new, are a battle scar from the war in my head. Up until now, they were all stories that I never intended to tell another person. Every single scar is a story that holds more pain than anyone will ever know or understand. I look at the marks on my arm and I'm reminded of the things I have done to myself. I see both the regret and the release that the markings stand for. There are so many scars and cuts and gashes that have healed and eventually faded that I have lost count of them over the years. You see these and you know that I'm lost and hurt but you can't see the scars on my heart and soul." She stopped for a moment and looked at the detective. "I push people away when all I really want is for someone to take me into their arms and tell me that everything is going to be alright. I tell jokes and I smile and I make everyone believe that I am having a great time without a worry in the world but the truth is, I'm dying on the inside. I am so tired of never being good enough and hurting and hiding all the time. The excuses that I make, the long sleeves, the wrist bands, the crying…it's exhausting. People think they know pain and they do to a certain extent. Pain comes in so many different levels and most people have never experienced pain of the higher levels. Since they have never felt this pain, they do not understand it. I know this pain very well. I know what it's like to stand in front of the mirror with tears streaming down my face and countless memories flooding my mind. I know what it's like to look down at the ten bloody lines on your arm and feel so conflicted about how they make me feel. I know what it's like to hold that blade to my wrist and search for the strength deep inside myself to both push down and to pull it away. That is the level of pain that I deal with every single day of my life. I hide my secrets so very deep inside myself in the hope that even I won't find them. I have cried so much that I could have easily ended a drought. I am so scared to get close to anyone because everyone that I have ever gotten close to has left me eventually." Her voice began to crack and her eyes glistened with tears that she refused to let escape down her cheeks. "People who cut are not always suicidal but there are some people who do eventually end their pain and that breaks my heart. Then, there are those like me who cut to deal with the pain they bury inside themselves. I forgot how it felt to be alive until I started cutting myself. The pain I cause with the blades is a bitter sweet reminder that my heart is in fact still beating." She wiped the tears from her cheek as she could not hold them in any longer. "At first, it was just a cut here and there and then it became a part of my everyday routine. I didn't realize that I was addicted to it until I couldn't stop. That is exactly what self-mutilation is…an addiction. It's like cigarettes or alcohol or sex. It's not a switch that I can just turn on and off. It is an everyday battle and I was the only soldier fighting the war against myself. Whenever something goes wrong or when things get too hard to handle, I want my security blanket. That's just the fact of the matter and it will continue to be that way for a while. I can sit here and promise you that I won't do it again but the reality is I probably will. I will never be rid of the urges. They will always be there in the front or the back of my mind. It will be a lifelong battle as it has been for so long." The tears in her glistening eyes began to fall uncontrollably. "I want the pain to go away. I do not want to hide anymore. I do not want to be that girl that fakes a smile and pretends that everything is alright when it really isn't. I'm so tired of fighting with myself. I want to stop and I need you to help me." She whispered the last sentence.

"It is both a gift and a curse to feel everything as deeply as you do, Riley. You just took a heartbreak that is no stranger to me and made it so very beautiful. You say that you don't believe in angels but I am looking at one right now. No, we can't see your halo and yes you have scars but you aren't the only one. In your next breath you tell me that you are a monster. Honey, broken or not, you make life livable and you make existence glorious. Your strength is impenetrable. You have worry in your mind and doubt in your heart and the weight of the world on your shoulders yet you make the universe worth being in. You don't see yourself the way others see you and that is heartbreaking. We don't tell you all of these good things about you just to try to make you feel better. When we tell you these things we are trying to make you see what we see when we look at you. " Munch replied softly as he gazed into Riley's brown orbs that were still filled with tears.

Olivia, Casey, and Tyler were all standing in the walkway that led into the dining room listening to the confession on Riley Westbrook. All three of them were crying tears that all meant different things. Olivia cried as she understood all of the things that Riley had said to Munch. She knew all too well how it felt to feel as though there was a monster in the mind that she had been trying so hard for so long to silence. She knew all too well the battle that is fought within the mind and the hiding of scars. Casey cried as she felt the motherly pull to Riley. Her heart was breaking as she heard that the younger brunette say that all she really wanted was for someone to pull her close and to tell her that everything would be alright, which is exactly what the red haired woman wanted to do. When Riley said that she was tired of never being good enough and hurting and hiding all the time, Casey wanted more than anything to convince her that she was in fact good enough and she wanted to ease that pain and to bring the younger girl back into the light where she no longer had to hide. Tyler was crying as she felt the innocence and the strength of the girl that she loved. Never before had anyone ever heard the story of Riley Westbrook but they were all hearing it now and they all could feel her agony. The three in the walkway decided to go into the living room to join the younger girl and the detective. They were not asked to leave, rather they were welcomed as they sat quietly and calmly.

"My darkness goes so much deeper down the rabbit hole than the cutting and the scars and the pain. When I was put in the situation with Keegan, it wasn't the first time he has tried to kill me. Abby, Jared, Stevie, and Michelle were all foster siblings of mine. All four of them were like older brothers or sisters to me and I really looked up to them. With all four of them came a common denominator... Landon Collins. I didn't really know who he was at first; I just knew him as their friend. I had no clue what he was into or the things that he had been doing. I was only nine when Michelle started hanging out with him, so I blame my ignorance on being a child. I remember her nursing two new tattoos over a period of time. The first tattoo was a four leaf clover that had a bullet hole in each leaf. The other, which she got about two weeks before she...um...the dove carrying the rose. She had a burn on her right forearm that was a plus sign with an arrow on each of the ends when I found her. I was eleven when Abby started bringing Keegan. I found it very odd that I was in a completely different state but he was still there. I didn't think anything past the fact that it was weird. He and Abby were dating and he took her to get the same tattoo that Michelle had come home with first; the clover with the bullet holes. Again, two weeks before, she also got the tattoo of the dove carrying the rose and when I found her, she had the burn of the plus sign with the arrows. All four of them were the same. They came home with the clover tattoos and then two weeks before they...the dove also showed up and when their bodies were found, they had been marked. I was almost seventeen when Stevie brought Landon home and he started showing an interest in me. It wasn't anything sexual...it was...sympathy. He knew what I had been going through my entire life. I decided that he knew everything because he had always been there. I started hanging out with him and Stevie. They spent a lot of time in a warehouse that Landon said I wasn't ready to explore yet. I remember an odd smell and at least fifty people working constantly while we played video games." Riley shook her head at the memory and smiled slightly. "We played video games and ate and literally just hung out all day. It was such a relief to get out of that house and away from those people that I probably would have scrubbed that entire building with a toothbrush as long as I didn't have to be there." the smile melted and tears began to form in her brown orbs. "When Stevie was found dead in the bathtub, I called Landon and he came to get me. We rode around for the longest time in silence. He sat behind the wheel and focused on the road while I sat in the passenger seat with my knees in my chest and the wind blowing my hair. When we finally stopped, he wrapped me in the tightest hug. He told me he knew that Stevie saw me as his little sister and that he would be taking care of me from then on. I, of course, felt relieved. I had lost Stevie but I had Landon." Riley paused long enough to take a large drink of her glass of water as talking so much had made her very thirsty. "Two weeks later, I started meeting other members of Landon's family. He introduced them as the Collin's Clan. I met Keegan and Emmet and Finn. Keegan was older than me and he was Landon's brother. There were two years between them making Landon the oldest of the siblings. Emmet was in his mid twenties and spent most of his time out on 'jobs' as they called them. Finn and I were the same age so we hit it off right away. We spent the most time together, worked on the same things, and eventually he became my best friend. About two weeks after that, I was taken to get my Collins Clan tattoo. I was so excited because I was only seventeen but I had a tattoo." Riley paused and showed them the tattoo of the four leaf clover with a bullet hole in each leaf on the inside of her right bicep. "Finn was the one that helped me take care of it the same way that I did for Abby, Michelle, Stevie, and Jared. He was so sweet and I think that it broke his heart when I told him that I liked girls but we still remained best friends. After I got the tattoo, I was a member of the Collin's Clan which meant it was time for me to go to work. Keegan sat me down and told me that what my job was and I was not ok with it. He told me that I could either do the job or he could send me back to the hell that I lived in before."

"What was your job?" Olivia asked.

"I was supposed to run the drugs to the customers, give him the money, and then he would give me my cut. I knew it was wrong but I was not willing to go back to that house, so I ran the drugs. I watched Emmet beat a man to death with a baseball bat when he hadn't paid up on time and I cried for nearly three days straight. After that, my work load got bigger. I was meant to do some recruiting." Riley looked around and saw the silent question in everyone's eyes. "Landon liked the idea of attractive women running his drugs. I never understood why but that was what he wanted and he was the boss so that is what he got. I managed to get three girls together and I brought them back to the warehouse. He took them on the grand tour before we all loaded up and headed down to the docking bay where he kept his shipments. I watched as Emmet unlocked one of the large shipping bins and he swung the doors open. My heart shattered when I saw what he had been storing in the container." tears began to form in her eyes again and immediately started falling down her cheeks. "The container was full of women that looked to be my age or younger. They were all dirty and so skinny. They all pushed towards the back of the container when the doors opened in fear that they would be chosen. That night after we had gotten back to the warehouse and settled into our bunks, I asked Finn what Landon did with those women. He was hesitant to tell me but then he gave in to my begging. He told me that he sold the women. They were sold as sex slaves, housekeepers, nannies, or whatever was needed of them. Finn must have known what I was thinking because he took one look at me and told me that he would go with me to talk to Landon the next morning about getting out. We talked to Landon, who agreed that I could leave but first he wanted to give me a gift in honor of Stevie. He took me to a tattoo place and that's when I was given this..." she pointed to the scar of the burn with the plus sign and the arrows." I had never cried so hard in my life. When Finn found me and saw the burn, he got all of my stuff together and he snuck me out of the warehouse. We were followed and Finn was shot in the process of trying to protect me. He pushed me into the water of the bay and took the bullet that was meant for me. I got myself together and picked a place where I thought that Landon and the rest of the Collin's would never find me. Well, now he has found me and his second in command is dead because of me. Keegan failed at killing me which would have been punished but now he is dead so...I have to pay that debt as well as my own. Nobody leaves the Collin's Clan alive. They are given the clover tattoo when they are accepted as family. Usually they are given the tattoo of the dove as a symbol of their freedom from the family but their lives are stolen and they are marked. The plus sign with the arrows signifies that Landon will find you where ever you go. He marked me and then he tried to kill me but I got away. He sees my life as a debt and now I owe him Keegan's debt as well." Riley finished with a hint of fear in her voice.

"Riley, he will not be hurting you and you will not be giving him anything. We are going to protect you. What I need is for you to give me as many details as you can so that I can put him away for the rest of his life." Casey said confidently.

"I will give you any and everything that you need but you can't stop him. He will find me and he will kill me. If anyone gets in his way then he will kill them, too. I will not stand by and let any of you get hurt because of me. I would go through the same situation, the same hospital stay, and face death every moment of every day before I let you get hurt." Riley said passionately.

"Riley, protecting people is what we do. You are family and that makes this a priority. You might as well get ready for the fact that we are going to protect you." Munch said as he looked over his dark glasses at the younger girl.

Defeated, Riley hung her head and nodded in agreement.

"Am I...going to get in trouble for the things that I did with them? I was dealing drugs and I was recruiting girls that were to be sold into slavery..." Riley asked with terror in her face.

"No, honey, of course not. Everything is going to work out. You just have to wait and see." Olivia said.

Seeing the terror and agony in Riley's eyes, Casey leaned over and pulled the younger girl into her embrace. She held her with one arm and ran her long fingers through the shaggy brunette hair.

"Everything is going to be alright, Riley." the red haired woman whispered into Riley's ear.

Hearing these words that she had longed for her entire life, Riley melted into Casey's arms and held onto her as if her life depended on it. She held her shirt firmly in her fists and cried into her shoulders. All the while, Casey held the younger girl in her arms close and tightly and whispered reassuring words into her ears.


	12. The Game

Casey Benson sat in the room of the doctor's office as Riley Westbrook paced the concrete floor. It was no secret that the young girl had issues with hospitals and doctors and this was no different. She had argued for a good two hours when Olivia had told her that she had to go to the doctor for her follow up but was overruled by the detective, the ADA, and her girlfriend. So, she got dressed and rode silently as they made their way to the office. Being in the room was no different. She was silent as she walked the floor back and forth and then all over again.

"Riley, will you please sit down and try to relax a little bit?" Casey asked.

Riley shot her a look in response.

"What are you so worried about?" Casey asked.

"The fact that a doctor, that has held my heart in his hands, will be walking through that door at any second and he has the power to tell me that I can't play in the game on Friday, maybe? Do you have any idea just how important this game is? This is not a regular game...this is the championship game! This game is the defining point of where we stand as a district team and whether or not we go any further with our season! Friday could be the very last game of softball that I am able to play and I really do not want to watch it from the dugout or in the stands." Riley answered.

"Honey, I really don't know that you are ready for a game..." Casey began but was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Riley? How good to see you again. How are you feeling?" Doctor Hughes asked.

"Well that depends...what do I need to tell you in order to play in the game on Friday?" Riley asked in response.

The doctor laughed but stopped as he saw the serious expression on the younger brunette's face.

"Well, I have some good news and some bad news." Doctor Hughes said as he looked down at his paperwork.

 _"Here we go..."_ Riley thought to herself.

"The bad news is I need for you to go to this physical therapy gym everyday this week. They will work with you and see what limitations you need and what areas need more work. The good news is I don't see why you can't play on Friday as long as you go to therapy." the doctor said with a smile on his face.

Riley's face changed from long and disappointed to all smiles and glowing as the doctor spoke.

 _ **Benson Residence; Thursday Night**_

"So, how has the therapy been going?" Olivia asked.

"It has been pretty good, actually. The woman that I have been working with has been really helpful and she has given me a lot of good advice on things to do at home to help with the therapy at home." Riley answered.

They finished their dinner in mostly silence. When they were all done, Riley and Tyler cleared the table as the older two women washed and put away the dishes. When the table was cleared, the two younger girls retired to the living room.

"You never told me that your physical therapist was a woman." Tyler said as jealousy took her over.

Riley smiled at the green monster lurking in the green eyes of her girlfriend.

"Tyler...look at me." Riley said as she stared at her. "Now give me your hand." Tyler did as she was told. "Do you feel that?" Riley asked as she held the blonde's hand up to her own heart.

"I feel your heartbeat." Tyler said in a confused tone.

"Exactly. I have a heartbeat. It is still there. You were so scared that I was going to die and that would mean that I would leave you. I cannot imagine being without you. I have a heartbeat and I am sure that every single beat is there because of you. I have never been more sure of anything in my entire life." Riley said as she stared into Tyler's green eyes.

"I love you so much." the blonde whispered.

"I love you, too." Riley replied.

Olivia and Casey were standing in the doorway leading to the dining room and listening to everything the younger girls were saying. When they heard what Riley said, Olivia looked at Casey and Casey looked at Olivia.

"Will saying that to you get me laid?" Olivia asked with passion in her eyes.

"It just might..." Casey answered.

 _ **Friday; Senior Parking Lot; 3:45 p.m.**_

"You're wearing your jersey!" April yelled.

"I'm wearing my jersey!" Riley yelled back.

"Does that mean your broke ass is finally getting back on the mound today?" Remmie asked.

"My broke ass is finally getting back on the mound and I'm so ready to kick some Tiger ass!" Riley replied.

"Girls, let's get to the field! We got stretches to do!" the coach called as she drove by.

The four girls saluted and then follow suit. They all loaded up in April's Jeep and rode down to the field where the rest of the team had already arrived. Several of the girls were doing stretches while several others were throwing the ball to warm up. Riley, April, Remmie, and Tyler jumped out of the Jeep and ran over to the dugout.

"Wildcats!" Remmie yelled as she and the other three girls walked onto the field.

Across to the gate of the park, Olivia and Casey Benson, John Munch, Finn, Stabler, and the Captain all paid their way and started walking toward the side of the field where the team dugout was located. As this was such an important game, and it was Riley's first game back, they had all decided that they would be in attendance. They all wore tee shirts that were black, white, and purple (the colors of the Wildcats) and each of them had their respected title on the backs. Casey's shirt read "Momma 7 & 9", Olivia's shirt read "Mom 7 & 9", Finn's shirt read "Uncle Finn 7 & 9", Elliot's shirt read "Uncle El 7 & 9" Munch's shirt read "Munch 7 & 9" and Cragen's shirt read "The Captain 7 & 9".

They team all crowed around the four girls who had taken their position on the third base line in front of their dugout and in front of their supporters and then formed into a large circle. Remmie and April took their spots in the circle while Tyler and Riley stayed in the center of the group.

"Wildcats!" Tyler yelled, calling the team to attention.

This yell caught the attention of the family and they all watched.

The girls took their positions in the circle and stood as straight as boards.

"Wildcats!" Tyler yelled again.

Riley and Tyler looked over their shoulder at the team manager and nodded their heads.

"Girls!" Riley yelled.

"Captain!" the team yelled in return and all in unison.

A confused look was plastered on every single face in the bleachers. A lot of the supporters of the Wildcats softball team never missed a game, but the things that they were seeing were far from the team's normal warm-up routine.

A very familiar beat sounded through the speaker system and every Wildcat team member began to smile knowingly. No one knew that they had already done their stretches and this particular warm up was in honor of Riley's return. As the beat began and the team got into the rhythm, they all started bouncing their right foot and clapping their hands in time with the beat.

"Buddy, you're a big girl make a big noise

Playin' in the street gonna be a big girl someday

Got dirt on your face, you big disgrace

Throwin' your ball all over the place, singin'" Riley sang.

"We will, we will rock you

We will, we will rock you" the Wildcat team sang as they continued, now joined by their supporters, to clap and stomp.

"Buddy, you're a young girl, hard girl

Shoutin' in the field

Gonna take on the Cats today

You got dirt on your face, you big disgrace

Wavin' your colors all over the place, singin'" Remmie sang.

"We will, we will rock you" the team chanted.

"Singin'..." Tyler yelled.

"We will, we will rock you" she and the team chanted.

"Buddy, you're an old chick, poor chick

Pleadin' with your eyes, gonna get you no peace today

Got mud on your face, you big disgrace

We're here to put you back in your place" The Wildcat team sang.

"We will, we will rock you" the Wildcat supporters sang.

"Singin'..." Tyler yelled.

"We will, we will rock you" the crowd yelled.

"Everybody..." Remmie yelled.

"We will, we will rock you

We will, we will rock you" the supporters yelled.

As the guitar solo played loudly and the Wildcat supporters stomped their feet and clapped their hands, the Wildcat team all carried a ball, bat, or glove as they walked toward home plate for the coin toss.

The coin was flipped and the umpire held out his hand towards the Wildcats and yelled "home team" earning a loud cheer from the supporters. The girls ran back towards their dugout to grab their gear. They all lined up in the doorway and as they prepared to run out onto the field "Rock you like a hurricane" began to play over the sound system. The team ran to their respected positions with smiles of confidence on their faces.

 _ **Inning One**_

Tyler and Riley acted as though they were sharing the same brain, which was not unheard of with a pitcher and a catcher but their connection was that much deeper. Tyler knew when Riley was going to throw a curve ball or a rise ball. Riley knew when Tyler was going to jump for the pitch in the last second. Nine pitches and all were strikes. Three up and three down. It was time for the Wildcats to take their place at the plate.

The first batter was Remmie. She stood in the warm up circle and swung her bat to loosen her muscles. The announcer said her name, jersey number, and her defense position. As she made her way to the plate "I Wanna Rock" began to play. The first two pitches were out of reach but the third was right down the middle. She swung the bat and managed to rip one up the middle, earning her a double.

The second batter was April. Again, the announcer said her name, jersey number, and her position and then as she started walking towards the plate "Bad To The Bone" began to play. What the supporters didn't know was that the players had chosen the songs for each other so that no one would know what their walk out song would be. Hearing the song, April smiled and shook her head before she looked out at second base at Remmie who was smiling and holding her finger to her nose signifying that she had chosen the song. April shook off the funny surprise and took her position in the batter's box. The first pitch was way outside but the second curved too hard and hit the batter in her hip. She dropped her bat and angrily jogged down to first base.

"You good?" Remmie called out.

April held up her middle finger towards her friend, which she took as a sign that she was alright.

Tyler was announced and as she walked in the direction of home plate, "Thunderstruck" began to play. She stopped, mid-step, and turned to look at Riley who was smiling from ear to ear. She blew her girlfriend a kiss and then stepped up to the batter's box. Tyler tapped the inside of both of her cleats with her bat, something she had seen her momma do on many occasions, and then stepped up to the plate. Tyler had never really been a patient individual so when she swung at the first two pitches, no one was surprised.

"Take a breath, Pistol!" Fin called from the stands.

Tyler and Riley looked over for the first time and saw the entire family standing there with their Wildcat shirts on. What tickled the both of them was the fact that Fin was standing and, apparently, getting into the game though he claimed that he didn't like sports.

Tyler did as she was told and took a deep breath before she stepped back up to the plate. She swung at the next pitch and sent it up the third base line. It was going too fast for the third basemen to handle and she missed the ball. Remmie rounded third and ran as hard as she could for home. She slid head first and scored the first run of the game. The supporters and the dugout went crazy when Remmie was called safe by the umpire.

Riley was next up to bat and she was not surprised when she heard the guitar solo from "Crazy Train" playing on the speaker. Something told her that this would be her song. What she didn't know was that the entire team had chosen this song for her and not just her girlfriend. Riley was not as aggressive at the plate as her friends before her, but she managed a single and then was replaced by a pinch runner. No one wanted to put too much stress on her heart if they didn't have to.

By the end of the first inning, the Wildcats were up 3-0 over the Tigers but the game was destined to get much more exciting.

 _ **Inning 7**_

By the bottom of the seventh inning, Riley was feeling the strain of being shot in the chest, Remmie was nursing a broken finger on her right hand but refused to be pulled from the game, April had been hit by another pitch, and Tyler had nearly gotten ejected from the game for trying to fight with a base runner that had run her over on her way to home plate. Casey and Elliot, being the softball fans that they were, had gotten off of the bleachers and made their way down to the fence as the competiveness in them was beginning to show. Fin had been to the concession stand and bought at least 6 drinks for different girls on the Wildcat's team, Munch had been woken up about three times but the cheers of the supporters, Cragen had to play bodyguard as Olivia was growing angrier by the second at the dirty playing of the Tiger team, and Olivia (burying her anger) watch intently as her daughter pulled her mask off and called for a time out and then ran out to the mound to talk to their pitcher.

"You look like you're hurting and don't you dare lie to me Riley Westbrook." she said.

"I am hurting but you are not going to tell Carmichael and you are not going to try to bench me. This is my game, too. We have got this. You have got this. I have got this. Let's finish it right here." Riley said confidently.

The Tiger's had runners on first and second with their cleanup hitter in the box. They trailed the Wildcats by three runs. The Wildcat's would have the win if they could just get this last out. Riley was beyond tired and the pain in her chest was much stronger than she was letting on. She tucked the pain away and took her stance on the mound. She drew back and then pushed forward but the ball was right down the middle of the plate and solid contact was made by the bat. Riley watched as the ball sailed over third base, left field, and then over the fence.

"Son of a mother fucking bitch." she said to herself as she watched the base runners all cross home plate.

The next batter was a strike out and the Wildcat's returned to their dugout. Riley looked so disappointed in herself. Tyler, seeing the disappointment in her girlfriend's big brown orbs, walked over to the brunette and took her hand in her own.

"Hey, you. This, as you well know, is all a part of the game. It doesn't fall on you if we lose today. Look at the faces of your teammates. Do you see any anger or resentment towards you? No, you don't. Look at the faces of all the people here to support our team. Do you see any anger or resentment towards you? No, you don't. Look at the faces of our whole family. Do you see any anger or resentment towards you? No, you don't. We just have to score one run and the game is ours. If we don't score that last run, then we had a good season. Look how far we made it. Riley, I love you and this game won't change that at all." Tyler said softly.

 _"So, this is what it has come down to..."_ Riley thought to herself as she stepped back from the plate and out of the batter's box. _"We have April who got tagged on an attempted steal, Tyler who grounded out to third, and now here I am with two strikes. Is the pressure not enough? It has to come down to me, right? There are at least seventy people here with their eyes on me, the team all watching me, and the end of this game depends on me. No pressure..."_

"Let's go, batter." the umpire called with her gruff voice.

Riley took in a deep breath and then exhaled as she looked at her bat and then stepped up to the plate. She tapped her bat to the black rim of the plate, swung her bat out in front of herself, and then pulled it up to her standing position. She understood that the entire game, the entire season, depended on her at this very moment. She held her breath as the pitcher for the Tigers took her stance, commenced with her wind up, and then lunged the ball. Riley fell backwards as the ball had flown right toward her head. She shot the pitcher a look that could have burned a hole straight through her. The girl in the black and red uniform smirked. Riley sucked on her teeth to calm her anger as she stood. The dugout and the Wildcat section of supporters roared at the last pitch. The family was angry, the team was angry, Tyler was furious, and Riley was pissed the fuck off.

She, again, stepped into the batter's box, tapped the black rim of the plate, swung the bat in front of herself, and then brought it up to her shoulder. She rested the bat there as she shot the pitcher a smirk that matched her own though it was much more intimidating. She shifted her body weight to her back foot and gripped her bat tightly. The pitcher lunged the ball forward and Riley swung making contact with the large, yellow orb sending it ripping down the third base line.

"FOUL BALL!" the umpire yelled.

This was the final straw. It was now or never. Riley stepped into the batter's box with her left foot first and then her back foot, digging into the dirt as she did so. She swing her bat slowly a couple of times and then pulled it back behind her right shoulder. The smirk had disappeared from the pitcher's face and the infield took a few steps backwards towards the outfield. Riley inhaled deeply and then exhaled slowly as the pitcher rounded her arm with the ball in her grasp. Riley watched as the orb was released and came towards her. She watched as she swung her bat with all of the strength that she could muster. She heard the sound and felt the vibration of the ball making contact with the bat. She dropped her bat and walked towards first base, never taking her eye off of the ball. The dugout was silent, the supporters for the Wildcats and the Tigers were silent, and everything seemed to move in slow motion.

The center fielder for the Tigers ran back to catch up with the ball. Everyone watched as she jumped onto the chain length fence to give herself extra spring to jump for the ball. Her foot left the fence and she sprang into the air but the ball sailed over it and over the fence. An out of the park homerun. The crowd yelled, the team yelled, the family yelled...and Riley made her way around the bases with a smile on her face. As she rounded third, she saw that her team mates had crowded around home plate to be there when she scored the game winning run.

Her foot touched the white of the plate and she was immediately swarmed by purple, black, and white jerseys. She could feel pats on her shoulders and on her back and then she felt a hand slip into her own. Tyler had taken her hand and no words could describe the pride held on her face. The Wildcat's lined up on the third base line and pushed Riley to the front. The supporters yelled and clapped and cheered for her and for the team. She waved sheepishly and then turned to find that her teammates had gathered behind her in a half circle.

"Riley Westbrook, as the coach for the Valley High School Wildcats, I am honored to present you with this..." coach Carmichael said as she held out a ball. "The game ball!"

This made the team and the supporters cheer much louder.

Riley was near tears as she held the ball in her hands. She turned and held the ball high over her head so that the people who had been cheering on the Wildcat's could see what she had been given. The tears melted away and a smile spread from her right ear to her left when she heard what the supporters were doing.

Stomp, stomp, clap. Stomp, stomp, clap. Stomp, stomp, clap.

The Wildcat's joined in behind her, along with coach Carmichael.

"We will, we will rock you,

We will, we will rock you!" they all chanted.

Riley again held up the game ball and then went to shake hands with the Tiger's with her girlfriend right behind her.


	13. PROM?

_**Benson Residence- Master Bathroom**_

"Prom...it's time for prom. Liv! Olivia Benson! Get your tail in here!" Casey yelled from the shower in the master bathroom.

"What? Baby, what's wrong? What's going on?" a half asleep detective asked as she stumbled into the room.

"It is prom season!" Casey answered as she peeked out around the shower curtain.

"Casey Benson, you called me in here out of a dead sleep to tell me that it's prom season?"

"Honey, this is TJ's senior prom! It is one of the most important nights of her life! We cannot look at this like it is some tiny little bitty thing! There has to be the perfect dress and the perfect hair style and perfect make-up and it has to be the best night of her life up to this point!"

"And it will be." Olivia said as she smiled a smile that Casey had come to love so very much in their twenty years together.

 _ **Benson Residence- Across The Hallway- Tyler's Bedroom**_

"I have no doubt in my mind that she is going to ask me. I don't have a single doubt at all. She is going to ask me. We are going to go to prom together and it is going to be the most amazing night of my life. We are going to dance and smile and laugh and have fun. She is going to ask me. She is. She is going to ask me, right?" Tyler asked Remmie through the phone.

"TJ, calm the hell down. Yes, she is going to ask you. Yes, it is going to be an amazing night. Yes, you and her are going to dance and smile and laugh and have fun. You desperately need to take a breath, dude. You have to give her time. I happen to know for a fact that she is freaking the hell out about prom." Remmie replied.

"I am giving her time...wait, what do you mean she is freaking the hell out about prom?"

"Tyler, she is terrified. You know that she doesn't do well in crowds and she sure as hell doesn't now that she has been through what she went through. Being taken hostage and being shot in the chest...it's a lot on her. Plus, she has no idea how to ask you. That girl is such a hopeless romantic that it is sickening."

"Yeah but she is my hopeless romantic. Mine. No one else's." Tyler said proudly.

"And there is not a single girl in Valley High that doesn't hate you for that fact, except for me and April."

"Let them bitches hate. That sexy, toned, mysterious, rough and tough, dark, beautiful girl is mine all mine." Tyler said causing her friend to laugh.

"TJ, it's time to eat!" Riley called from downstairs.

"Speaking of that person that is mine; she is calling me down for dinner. I'll text you later." Tyler said into the phone before hitting the end button and dropping it on her bed.

Tyler ran down the stairs and rounded the corner into the dining room. The table was set with two plates, two sets of silverware, two glasses, and a candle in the middle.

"Where's mom and momma?" Tyler asked in a confused tone.

"They decided that they were going to go out for dinner. They need a night to themselves anyway. If they are having a night to themselves then we are having a night to ourselves as well." Riley said with a smile.

"I love the outlook you have on things. Now, what have you made me for dinner?" Tyler asked returning the smile.

"I made chicken alfredo with garlic bread and a salad. Does that sound okay?"

"That sounds amazing, baby."

Tyler and Riley ate their dinner and they talked and they laughed and they smiled and everything felt like it was perfect. It felt so normal and so right. They both felt like they were where they both belonged; like they were with the person that they were meant to be with.

 _ **Benson Residence- Three Hours Later**_

Casey and Olivia Benson walked through their front door quietly as they expected their daughter and Riley to be asleep. The dining room table was cleaned off, the dishes had been washed and dried and put away, the lights were all turned out, and the two younger girls were fast asleep on the living room couch. Riley sat with her back against the arm of the couch with her head leaning against the back cushions. She had one leg on each side of Tyler who had her back against her girlfriends stomach and her head on her shoulder.

The two older women stopped and looked at the comfort of the two younger girls. They saw the comfort that they felt with each other. They could see the connection between them. They could see the love that was growing stronger and stronger between them. Casey slid her hand into the hand of her wife and laid her head on her shoulder.

"Who does that remind you of?" the red haired ADA asked quietly.

"That would be the spitting image of me and you during the entire first year of our relationship." the detective answered and then kissed her wife's forehead. "Now the question is do we leave them there or do we make them go get in the bed."

"I think we should just leave them there. If Riley wakes up she will get TJ to bed. She takes care of our little girl, you know?"

"I know she does. When I first found out about Riley Westbrook I was so skeptical about her being in TJ's life. Hell I was still skeptical up until Christmas. I knew that my baby girl had fallen in love with her. But I also knew that Riley was damaged and broken. I know how that feels. I remember being so terrified to attach to anyone. But then your stubborn ass came along and didn't give me much of a choice. TJ is good for Riley and Riley is good for Tyler Jane. They love each other very much. That is beyond clear. I think that TJ may be the one that saves Riley and I think Riley can be the one that I trust with me daughter forever." Olivia said as she looked over the two younger girls one last time before taking her wife by the hand and going up the stairs for the night.

 _ **Valley High School- The Next Day**_

Tyler, Remmie, and April walked down the hallway towards the student parking lot as they had finished their classes for the day. None of them had seen Riley since lunch and it was beginning to worry Tyler more than she was letting on, that is until they walked out toward their vehicles. Tyler's Jeep was covered in balloons and there was writing on her back glass. She could not read it from the doors but as she got closer the word became clear. Her back glass read "PROM?"

Just as she got to her vehicle, Riley walked out from behind the jeep with a bouquet of red roses in her hands. She was dressed to impress in her best jeans, a black undershirt, a white button down, boots and the backwards hat that her girlfriend loved. Tyler couldn't mask her excitement as she saw the question written on her back glass and her girlfriend standing there looking sexy as hell and holding roses. She turned and wrapped her arms around Riley's neck.

"Is that a yes?" Riley asked with a smile.

"That is a hell yes!" Tyler answered happily.

 _ **Later That Night- Benson Residence**_

"So, she finally asked you to prom?" Casey asked her daughter.

"Mom, it was so amazing. She asked me by writing on my back glass and she looked so damn good standing there all sexy as hell. Do you have any idea how happy she makes me? I am so lucky that I have her. Mom, she could have any girl at school, gay or straight, and yet she chose me. I thank my lucky stars every single day that she chose me, that she is still choosing me. I love her, mom. I really, really love her. I am in love with Riley Westbrook and I don't care if the entire world knows it." Tyler said to her mom.

"I'm glad you have her and that she has you, TJ. So, I take it we are going dress shopping tomorrow?" Casey asked with a smile.

"Well, yeah!" Tyler answered.

"Good deal. I already told the office that I would be out of pocket tomorrow."

"Wait, how did you know that you were going to need tomorrow off? She told you, didn't she?"

"She may or may not have called me and asked me what I thought about her idea. The outfit was my idea but everything else was all her." Casey replied with a smile. "Your mom, uncle Elliot, Finn, and the captain will be taking her shopping tomorrow as well. She said that there was no way in hell that she would be wearing a dress which is why they are all taking her."

"That girl is going to be the death of me." Tyler said with a sinister smile.

"What do you mean?"

"Mom, she is drop dead sexy in blue jeans, she is drop dead sexy in her softball uniform, she is drop dead sexy in her work pants...now she is going to be in a tux. It is going to take everything that I have not to rip her clothes off as soon as I see her."

"Wait, so you two haven't..."

"MOM! NO! We are not having this discussion!"

"The answer you should have given was no mom we haven't." Olivia said from the front door.

"You two are impossible! But, no we haven't. Here's to hoping though." Tyler said and then smiled and then ran upstairs before either of her mother's could say anything else.


	14. Getting Ready

_**David's Bridal- Saturday Afternoon**_

"Tyler Jane this is the fourteenth dress that you have tried on and three of these you have tried on twice. We have been at this for four hours. Can you just decide on a dress, please?" Casey called from outside the dressing room that her daughter was using to change.

"Momma, this is the last prom that I will ever attend! This is my senior prom! This has to be the perfect dress and then I have to pick the perfect hair style to go with it! I will never get to do this again!" Tyler called from inside the dressing room.

"I can only hope that your mom and your uncles and the captain are not having this much trouble." Casey said under her breath.

 _ **Dress To Impress- Saturday Afternoon**_

"Riley, it's a tuxedo for prom. This is not the suit you are wearing to your damn wedding. All you have to do is get measured and make sure your vest matches the color of her dress." Olivia called from outside the dressing room that her daughter's girlfriend was using to get her measurements taken.

"Mrs. Benson, this is the first and the last prom that I will ever go to. This is Tyler's senior prom. I have to look like I am worthy of being in her presence as well as her date. I have to look good as hell and I have to get my hair cut...shit." Riley called from inside the dressing room that she was in.

"Riley, this is your senior prom, too. This should be just as important to you as it is to her." Elliot said softly from outside the dressing room.

"Yeah, this is my senior prom, too but it is not near as important to me as it is to her. I didn't grow up with these kids. I have not known them my whole life. I don't care how I look as a general sense but prom is so important to her and that means that I will look amazing. I will be amazing. I will be sweet. I will make this night the best night of her life. Prom will be a night that she will remember for the rest of her life." Riley said as she walked out of the dressing room wearing a tuxedo that fit her perfectly.

"Damn..." Olivia said as she looked over the girl that had stolen her daughter's heart.

"What? Is it that bad? I have always thought that I look terrible in a tux." Riley said as the self-consciousness about herself took her over.

"It's not bad at all, Riley. You look really good, actually." Olivia said.

The captain walked over to her and pulled her jacket up further on her shoulders. He spun her around so that he could look her over. He checked to see how well the pants fit her and to make sure her jacket was not too tight or too loose. He straighten the collar of her jacket and then he adjusted her tie as he looked into her dark brown eyes.

"Riley Westbrook, you have stolen the heart of my granddaughter. You have stolen the hearts of my daughter and of my daughter-in-law. You won over my detectives in a matter of three minutes which is not an easy thing to do. And just now, when you said what you said about making prom a night for TJ to remember, you earned both my respect and my approval. I know now that she is lucky to have you." he said in a hushed tone.

"No, sir. I am lucky to have her. I have spent my entire life being told lies and feeling like I was alone in this world and in this life. No matter what foster home I was in, no matter what state I was in, no matter how many brothers or sisters I had...I have always been alone. When I met Tyler my entire world changed. I looked into her eyes and I saw this fire that was raging damn near out of control but she was still in charge of the flame. When I touched her for the first time I felt like I was being struck by lightning. She never ceases to amaze me. Captain...I look at Tyler Jane Benson and for the first time in my life...I'm home." Riley said softly but loud enough that Elliot, Finn, and Olivia heard her words.

 _ **David's Bridal**_

"Tyler Jane Benson if you do not get your ass out here right now and pick one of these dresses I am going to go wait in the car and you can wear pajama pants to prom!" Casey said in her motherly tone.

Tyler did not say a word in response.

"Tyler Jane Benson, you better answer me when I am talking to you." Casey called.

Still, she got no response from her daughter.

"TJ, get your ass out here no..." Casey trailed off as the door of the dressing room opened and her daughter walked out into the open room.

Tyler was wearing a yellow dress that was strapless, tight at the top, and went out into the princess fluff at the bottom. The dress was shiny, beautiful, and it fit her perfectly. Even with her hair falling out of the messy bun that Tyler had thrown it into after the third dress, she looked amazing. Her skin tone against the dress made her look like she was glowing. Her green eyes were brighter than they had ever been before. The sight of her daughter in the dress and the look in her eyes brought tears to Casey's cheeks.

"Tyler Jane Benson, you look absolutely amazing." Casey said to her daughter and then sniffled.

"The lady said that it fits perfectly and that I don't have to send it off for adjustments. That means we can take it home today...if that's okay with you?" Tyler said softly.

"Are you sure that this is the dress that you want to wear? Is the dress that you want to see when you are looking back at the pictures of your senior prom twenty years from now?"

"Honestly, I don't think that the dress will matter to me at all twenty years from now. The hairstyle won't matter, my make up won't matter...all that is going to matter to me is the girl that I am going to prom with. Momma, twenty years from now when I am looking back at my senior prom pictures I want to look at Riley's face and then I want to look across the room or across the table and see her face still. I want to be with her twenty years from now. I want to be with her thirty years from now. I want to be with her tomorrow and every single minute of every single day from now until forever. I love her so much more than words can describe. Momma, I have no doubt in my mind that Riley Westbrook is going to be my forever and always. I am going to marry her and I am going to have a family with her and we are going to live happily ever after." Tyler said as she looked deeply and honestly into the matching green eyes of her mother.

 _ **Benson Residence- Prom Night**_

"TJ, do you need help getting into your dress?" Casey called from outside her daughter's bedroom door.

"Yes! This thing is driving me completely insane!" Tyler called back.

Casey opened the bedroom door and saw her daughter struggling to get her dress on. Tyler stopped and looked at her mother with a facial expression that no other person could come close to matching. It was an expression of anger and exhaustion and just all around annoyance. Casey could not help but to smile at her daughter. Her eyes were glassed over like she was about to cry, her lips were curved into the perfect pouty face, and she was just too adorable for any words.

"Mother, this is in no way anywhere near funny. I have to get ready for the last prom that I will ever attend and I feel like I could burst out in tears at any second." Tyler said seriously.

"Honey, there is no reason for you to burst into tears at all. Not now, not ten minutes from now, not at all tonight. Tonight you are going to be beautiful and you are going to be with Riley and April and Remmie. You are going to make memories tonight that you are going to look back on for the rest of your life and you are going to smile because your memories are happy. You will not shed one single tear tonight Tyler Jane Benson." Casey said and then gently touched her daughter's face.

"I love you, momma." Tyler said quietly.

"I love you too my little slugger. Now, let's get you in this very beautiful, very expensive, very yellow dress."

 _ **Westbrook Residence -Prom Night**_

"Mrs. Benson, I...I...I am having so...so...some trouble with this...this...this vest." Riley stuttered from her bedroom.

"She stutters when she's nervous?" Elliot asked quietly.

"She stutters when she's nervous." Olivia answered as she got up from the living room couch and then walked down the hallway to the younger brunette's room.

"I can think of another person that stutters when she is nervous." Elliot said under his breath as his partner walked down the hallway.

"And when she is scared." Finn added.

"I can hear you!" Olivia called from Riley's bedroom door.

Olivia walked into Riley's bedroom and was highly surprised by what she saw. The room was completely unfitting of an eighteen year old girl. There were no posters on the walls or pictures put around the rim of her mirror. There was no crazy or bright comforter on her bed or a black light hanging in every corner. Instead, Olivia saw a chest of drawers, a night stand, a full size dresser with a full size mirror, and a bed that was all matching antique oak. Her bedroom suit was Mossy Oak camouflage. The curtains, the bed spread, the bed skirt were all camouflage while the sheet was hunter orange. There were four silver picture frames hanging on the walls and two on her night stand. In each of the frames hanging on the walls there was one for each of her foster brothers and sister that had died; the same four that were now being investigated by Olivia Benson and her partner Elliot Stabler.

Olivia walked up to the frames and studied each of the pictures. Abigail Williams sat on a porch swing with an eleven year old Riley, Michelle Reeves applying make up to a nine year old Riley, Jared Fain standing with his arm around a fourteen year old Riley with matching surprised expressions on their faces, and Steven Giles teaching a seventeen year old Riley how to defend herself as they were both standing in a defensive position. Riley watched patiently as the detective studied her pictures on the wall and then as she walked over to the night stand to study the two pictures on the night stand.

In the first silver frame on the dark stained piece of furniture was a picture of Riley, April, Remmie, and Tyler the day that they won the championship game. All four of the girls were sitting on the bench inside the dugout and they all had huge smiles on their faces. In the other frame, Olivia saw a picture of Riley and Tyler standing with their arms around each other. The two of them were so lost in each other's eyes and it was clear that the rest of the world was at a standstill to the two younger girls.

"You really do love her, don't you?" Olivia asked still looking down at the picture of Riley and her daughter.

"Yes ma'am, I do. I love her more than I ever thought one person could love another. The depth and the strength of my love is something that cannot even be put into words. The fairytales are all wrong. True love does not end with happily ever after because true love does not ever end. I love Tyler more than I love myself. There are seven hundred trillion people in this world and out of all of them I choose her and I will keep choosing her any time I am given the choice. She is my favorite person to see and to hear and to talk to and to be with. She is my everything and I know that I don't have much to give her but I would give it all to her. I want to share my life with her. I want to make hundreds of memories with her that we can look back on thirty years from now and smile. All I have ever wanted in this life is to feel something other than pain. And when I am with Tyler, I feel more than I ever thought was possible. She is everything I never knew I always needed and wanted." Riley answered.

Olivia stood there and stared into Riley's eyes with tears streaming down her face. Finn, Elliot, and the captain were all standing outside the bedroom door and they had all heard what Riley had just said. It was Finn that broke the silence.

"Damn, girl, you need to start writing that shit down and selling it." he said causing everyone to laugh.

 _ **Benson Residence- Two Hours Later**_

Finn, Elliot, the captain, and Riley all sat in the living room while Olivia and Casey helped Tyler with the finishing touches of getting ready. Her dress was on and her make-up was flawless and her hair was perfect but there was something missing...glitter? No. Glam? No. Sparkle? No.

"The corsage." Casey said as the answer finally came to her.

"Oh, Riley has that downstairs with her. I swear it took her an hour to pick that thing out." Olivia stated.

"So, now I guess all that is left to do is to go downstairs and see her..." Tyler said nervously.

"Hey..." Casey said softly getting the attention of her daughter. "Everything is going to be alright. You look amazing and beautiful and your mom tells me that Riley looks stunning and very clean. You have nothing at all to be nervous about."

Tyler smiled at her momma and then over to her mom. Olivia kissed her daughter on the forehead and then went downstairs to check on the level of nerves. To her surprise, Riley seemed much calmer now than she had been before. The detective gave the younger brunette a questioning look and received a confident smile in return.

Riley looked good. Her suit was crisp and sharp. The yellow vest that she wore to match Tyler's dress made her skin look darker and it was a damn good look for her. Her hair above her ears was slicked back and the hair above it hung down in a sort of messy wet style (much like that of a 90's boys hairstyle). She looked good, she smelled good, and she felt good. She was feeling very confident and very calm...at least until she heard the footsteps of her girlfriend coming down the stairs.

Riley shot up out of the chair and turned just as Tyler and Casey appeared in the living room. Olivia snapped a quick picture of the reaction of Riley seeing Tyler in her dress for the first time. Her face held nothing but awe. She was completely taken by the beauty of her girlfriend. Tyler was glowing with excitement and happiness. The two younger girls stood there and stared at one another for a moment in silence. Neither of them could find any words.

Elliot cleared his throat and pulled the two love birds back to reality.

"Angels nach bhféadfadh iad féin teacht in áit ar bith in aice le do áilleacht." Riley said in a language that no one had ever really heard before as she walked up to Tyler, took her hand, and brought it to her lips for the smallest kiss.

Tyler smiled the smile of a girl in completely in love.

"What was that?" she asked softly.

"Angels themselves could not come anywhere near your beauty." Riley answered just as softly.

"Riley Westbrook, you are so very sweet." Tyler said as she looked in her girlfriends brown eyes.

"Tyler Benson, you are so very amazing." Riley replied as she looked back into her girlfriends green eyes.

"And you two are so damn sickingly sweet that I may actually vomit." Finn said jokingly.

"Picture time!" Casey called as she held up her camera causing everyone in the room to flinch.


	15. Prom Night

_**Benson Residence- Prom Night**_

Casey stood behind Riley and Tyler in their backyard when Remmie and April pulled up in the driveway. The two other girls knew that their other moms would want pictures of them so they made the decision to head over to their best friend's house before making their way to the Valley High gym. The two other girls walked to the backyard and saw Riley and Tyler posing for pictures and a camera in Casey's hands.

"We figured you would be standing there with a camera!" Remmie called out.

"Oh my...you girls look amazing!" Casey said after she turned around and took in the other two girls' appearances.

 _ **Benson Residence- An Hour Later**_

"Baby, you have taken over two hundred pictures. Don't you think it's time to let the girls go?" Olivia said quietly to her wife.

"I guess you're right." Casey replied.

Tyler stood there talking to her two best friends while she watched out of the corner of her eye as her girlfriend spoke with her uncles and her grandfather.

"Yes, sir." Riley said with a smile on her face.

"Hey, baby, are you ready to go?" Tyler called out.

"I'm ready whenever you are, angel." Riley called back.

With that, Remmie and April loaded up in Remmie's Jeep and Riley and Tyler loaded up into Tyler's Jeep and the four of them made their way to their senior prom.

 _ **Valley High School Gym**_

The parking lot was filled with vehicles that had been washed and waxed and cleaned for the occasion of the night. Even Remmie had cleaned out, washed, and waxed her truck which had not happened since the day she got it. Riley had done the same to her girlfriend's truck. She explained when Tyler argued with her about cleaning the vehicle that it was very calming and it soothed her obsessive compulsive behaviors. Tyler still didn't like the idea of her girlfriend cleaning her truck but she eventually gave in after 30 seconds of Riley putting on her best puppy dog eyes and pouty face.

Remmie, April, and Tyler all jumped out of the two trucks with the glow of excitement emitting from their bodies and faces. However, Riley could not mask the anxiety and the fear that plagued her expression. It was not just the fact that she was highly uncomfortable in a crowd. It was not just that she was worried about not being good enough that night. It was not just the terror that the Collins clan would do something on her prom night. It was the combination of her being uncomfortable in a large crowd plus the worry of not being good enough on this extremely important night combined with the terror that revenge would be sought out on the night of her and Tyler's senior prom.

"Hey..." Tyler grabbed her girlfriend by her hand before she was able to start her walk towards the entrance to the gym. "I can see the look on your face and the fear in your eyes. I understand that you are afraid, baby. I completely understand that but you can't let all of your fear and your worry keep you from having a good night. Tonight is all about having a good time and I need you to be able to have a good. I need you to stop worrying. We are going to have an amazing time."

"I'm sorry, angel. I don't mean to be all worried and scared. I know the Collin's clan and I know that they would see tonight as the perfect opportunity to strike. I don't know that they will but I also don't know that they won't. But, you're right. Tonight is all about having a good time and that is exactly what we are going to do. Tonight is going to be a night that you are going to remember for the rest of your life. Tonight is our senior prom. Tonight is going to be amazing." Riley replied with a small smile.

Tyler smiled in response to her girlfriend and looked into her brown eyes. Though she could still see the fear within them she could tell that Riley was trying very hard to calm herself down. She stretched out her arm and took the scared girl by the hand.

"What do you say we go into our senior prom now?"

"I think that sounds like a very good idea." Riley answered taking her girlfriends outstretched hand.

The two you lovers walked up the ramp into the gymnasium and took in their surroundings. A Walk in the Clouds was the theme of the prom and the junior class had done an amazing job making it as beautiful as they could. Light blue, blue, silver, and white filled the huge room. Cut outs of clouds, the two shades of blue and silver balloons, and white table cloths were used. Bowls with light blue, blue, and silver beads and a candle held in place by the beads were used as center pieces on every table. The candles created the smallest glow but it was very fitting. There was a pathway made of white paper that had cloud cut outs on each side that led to the arch where pictures were being taken. The arch was made of a rounded wood that stood seven and a half feet tall. The wood was painted white and had what looked like a ladder going from one side to the other. There were white Christmas lights wrapped around each individual step and a few strands hanging down over head. White cloud cut outs with silver lining were at the bottom so that it looked like the people in the picture were standing in the clouds and large cut outs of the numbers 2007 as that was the year of this prom.

The DJ that had been hired for that night was awesome. He played the new, popular music such as: Lollipop by Lil' Wayne, So What by Pink, Paralyzer by Finger Eleven, Fall For You by Secondhand Serenade, Love Story by Taylor Swift, and Lolli Lolli (Pop That Body) by Three Six Mafia as well as the older classics such as: Yeah by Usher, Wild Wild West by Will Smith, I Don't Want To Miss A Thing by Aerosmith, Sweet Child O' Mine by Guns N' Roses, The Time of My Life by Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes, and Footloose by Kenny Loggins and Blake Shelton (and yes there were individual dancers in which everyone encircled just like in the movie.)

Now it was no secret that Remmie, April, and Tyler had all grown up together and that meant that they spent almost every single weekend together since they were five years old. This also meant that had their own dances to certain songs. It was no surprise when they were found in the center of the dance floor just doing the dances that they had created to go to certain songs. The least surprising thing was how uncomfortable Riley was to be in the center of everything and to be dancing in front of all of these people. So, when Yeah by Usher came on and the three lifelong friends were doing their own dance it threw everyone for one hell of a loop when Riley jumped in the middle of the crowd and started not only dancing but owning the dance floor. She popped her hips. She rolled her body. She smirked that sexy smirk that drove every girl in that school crazy. She spun around on the floor in a break dancing style. She spun around on her head. At some point during her dance, she ended up right in front of Tyler, who was mesmerized by this new side of the girl that she loved. She grabbed Tyler by her hand and pulled her out into the center of the floor. She spun around her girlfriend and stood behind her with her hands on her hips. Tyler followed Riley's lead and their bodies moved as one. Once the song ended every single person in the gym yelled and applauded for Riley and this side of her that no one had ever seen before.

Tyler, with the most beautiful smile spread across her face, hugged her girlfriend and kissed her happily. Riley had never seen Tyler happier than she was in that very second. The glow that she wore before they left her house was so much brighter, the smile on her face was so much larger, and her eyes held more love for Riley Westbrook than anyone had ever seen.

It was that smile and that glow and that look in Tyler's eyes that made Riley realize something that she had never even thought about before in her entire life. It was the way she looked in that yellow dress. It was the way that she looked at her in a way that Riley had never been looked at before. It was the way that Tyler saw her...really saw HER. It was the way she smiled every time her name was mentioned and the way she lit up every time Riley walked into a room. It was the way that Tyler looked at her the very first night they saw each other in the parking lot at the diner. It was the way her body was filled with electricity when they shook hands for the first time. It was just Tyler. Tyler made Riley think something that she had never thought about before, something that Riley thought that she would never deserve, something that she never imagined she would find... Riley looked at Tyler and Tyler looked at Riley and it was in that stare and in that second that Riley realized that she never wanted to spend a single day of her life without Tyler. She wanted to wake up next to her every morning and lay with Tyler in her arms every night. She wanted to have coffee in the mornings as they sat on the swing on the front porch. She wanted to have lunch dates when they could get away from work. She wanted to have dinner with her every night. She wanted to fight over the sink while they brush their teeth every morning. She wanted to have pillow talk with her at night when they lay down in bed where they talk about anything and everything. Riley could not see her life without Tyler in it. Tyler Jane Benson had become Riley's light, her life, her world, her universe, her rock, her angel, her present, her future, and she hopes that she would soon become her fiancé...


	16. Making The Right Choices

Prom was over. Softball season was over. The school year was drawing to a close. With every passing day, graduation was growing closer and closer. The reality of the ending of one stage and the beginning of the next step of life was setting in. Plans were being made about college and what happens after high school is over. Most of the graduating class had been applying for scholarships since the summer before their senior year and had been applying to college after college. This included April Kennedy, Remmie Parker, and Tyler Benson. As far as Riley Westbrook was concerned, college wasn't an option so what was the point in applying for scholarships or even taking her ACT? At least that's how she felt until she met Tyler Jane Benson, fell in love with said girl, and made the decision on the night of their senior prom that she was the girl that Riley wanted to spend the rest of her life with. But where in hell does she go from here? What does she want to do with her life besides spend it with Tyler? Who does she want to be? What is it that she has to offer to this wonderfully amazing girl? All of these questions plague her mind every single day. These questions bounce around her mind like a rubber ball in a 5x5 room with 20% less gravity than the rest of the world. These questions keep her awake at night as she lies in her bed and stares blankly at the ceiling or on her roof staring into the night sky like the stars will solve her dilemma. But the stars do not give her any answers. The bland, white ceiling does not give her any answers. All of the questions that haunt her mind remain unanswered.

 _ **Benson Residence**_

"Momma, can I talk to you about something?" Tyler asks her mother with whom she inherited her jade green eyes.

"Of course you can. What's on your mind, slugger?" Casey replies seeing that her daughter will not meet her gaze.

"It's what about Riley..." this grabs Casey's attention even more. "She's been distant and reclusive lately. She isn't as close to me as she was two weeks ago. It's like I've done something wrong to hurt her but she won't say anything. I have no idea what that something is but I need her to tell me so that I can fix it."

"Honey, I haven't really noticed any difference in her. What do you mean she is being distant and reclusive? She is over here at least five days a week and the other two days you are with her at her house."

"She doesn't hold my hand nearly as much as she did when we first got together. She has hidden her laptop like she has got something to hide from me and we do not hide things from each other. We have a no secrets and a 100% honesty policy. She tells me when she has the urge to cut and I tell her when I'm ready to choke the life out of April and Remmie. We know about each other's past. We know all of each other's secrets. We talk about what we want in our futures. But, it's like all of that has just stopped. She is keeping her distance and I can see in her eyes that she is spending so much more time in her mind than what is considered healthy."

"You don't think that she is cutting again do you?" Casey asked, her tone thick with legitimate fear and concern.

"I...I don't know. I mean it's not like I see her with her shirt off on a daily basis or anything. I really hope she isn't..."

"TJ, have you tried just talking to her? You said that you and her have this policy so maybe you should just go talk to her. Put everything out on the table. Tell her how you are feeling and what you are thinking and allow her the opportunity to reply." Olivia says from the doorway as she had entered the house unnoticed and listened in on the conversation at hand.

"No, I haven't just flat out asked her what's going on but I think she knows that I'm feeling this way." Tyler stopped and pondered for a moment and then grabbed her keys from the table and made her way towards the front door. "I'll be back later." she calls as she walks out into the spring night.

After hearing the front door close and the engine of Tyler's Jeep rev, Casey and Olivia exchange a look.

"Everything is set up?" Casey asked with a knowing grin tugging at the corner of her lips.

"Everything is set up." Olivia answers as she saunters across the room and takes her wife in her arms.

"She has no idea that her life is about to change forever..." Casey whispers against the chest of her detective.

"No she doesn't but then again neither did you when I started acting the way that Riley is now. You thought that I was pulling away from you but I wasn't. I was having the same exact battle in my mind that Riley is fighting now. But, she will be okay. Everything is going to be alright." Olivia says softly still holding the love of her life in her arms.

 _ **Westbrook Residence**_

Tyler sat in her Jeep and just stared at the home belonging to the girl that she has fallen completely and totally in love with. During the drive from her own house to where she sits now, Tyler has thought of every possible negative outcome of this conversation. She is terrified of losing Riley but she knows that the girl is very broken and damaged and unsure about a lot of things in her life. She knows that there is still much healing to be done but she wants to help her girlfriend heal, she wants to walk with down that road with her.

After about 20 minutes of sitting in the drive way, Tyler finally finds enough courage to shut off her engine, get out of her Jeep, and to walk up to the front door. Tyler, over the past two or three months, has adopted the habit of just walking into the house but this is one of those battles that she is having in her mind right this second. She can't decide if she should knock or just go right in like she normally would. She stood on the front porch for about five minutes before she made her decision and she just walked into the house.

Tyler was not surprised when she found her girlfriend sitting on her couch with her headphones in her ears with paper and pens laying on the table in front of her. The pen in her hand scribbles words onto the paper as her head moves in time with the beat in her ears. Stopping once or twice seeing a word that doesn't fit, Riley would scribble the word out and tap the pen on the table or click it over and over again until she could think of a word that would fit. She dropped the pen onto the paper and took her sonic cup in her hand and took several large gulps before setting it back down and picking up her pen again. The concentration on her face made her look so amazing. When she read something that she had written that was really good she would smile down at the paper. When she got an idea for something that sounded really good a small smirk would pull at the left corner of her lips making her extremely sexy in jade green eyes. The way she moved her head with the beat of her music, the way she would sing along with a few words and then get right back to writing, the way she was in her own little Riley Westbrook world fascinated Tyler and pulled her deeper in. She was so enthralled with the actions of her girlfriend that she didn't even realize that she had left the front door standing wide open, at least not until Riley looked up and saw her angel standing there.

"Hello beautiful." Riley greeted with a smile on her face.

"Hello gorgeous." Tyler replied with a matching smile.

"What brings you to my humble abode?"

"You do, actually. We need to talk."

With those four words, Riley felt her stomach turn to multiple knots, her palms started to sweat, and her heart dropped to her feet.

"W...w...what about?" Riley stuttered, silently kicking herself in the ass for that stupid flaw about her that gave her emotions away so easily.

"Us, Riley. We need to talk about us." Tyler answered.

"It's happened...hasn't it." Riley nearly whispered.

"What's happened?" Tyler asked.

"You have gotten tired of me and everything that comes with me. All of the negativity and the darkness and the bullshit...You're tired of it and you're leaving."

"Riley..." The dark brown eyes look up and meet the deep green. Tyler feels frozen in place as she sees that tears have formed in those muddy water eyes that she loves so much. "I have not gotten tired of you. I love you and everything about you. I'm not leaving. We just need to talk about some things."

"Why don't you come sit down and we can talk then?" Riley offers.

Tyler shuts the door and makes her way over to the couch to sit next to her girlfriend.

During the drive over she had coached herself to just jump right into this conversation. She told herself that she was not going to hold back; she was going to lay everything out there just like her mom told her to do but now, seeing the hurt in those soft brown orbs...

"Tyler...I know that you feel like I have been distant from you lately and the truth is I have been. I have been doing a lot of thinking and that usually is not a good thing for me but this time...I just had a hell of a lot to get straightened out in my mind."

"Riley, are you thinking about leaving me?" Tyler asks now finding hurt in her own heart.

"Tyler...I have nothing to offer you. You and April and Remmie have all of these plans as to what you are going to do with your lives and I have nothing. You have to understand that I never thought that I would make it this far. I never thought that I would be graduating high school, let alone what I was going to do after. You plan on going to college and getting your degree and to start your life. Remmie has over 50,000 dollars in scholarships and the academic level to go to any college that she wants to go to. April has even got a good portion of her life planned out down to every detail. And me...all I have is a rundown house that should have been burned mercifully twenty years ago, a job that pays me minimum wage, a motorcycle, a guitar, and a past that has caught up to me. I have nothing to offer you. I am broken and damaged and I need to fix myself. You cannot fix me. I have got to fix myself. I have got to heal on my own. I have to find it in myself to fix myself."

"Riley, you cannot sit there and tell me that you have nothing and that you are nothing. I am not going to sit here and listen to you down yourself like that." Tyler says angrily.

"Why? It's the truth Tyler. I am nothing. I have nothing." Riley snaps back.

"This is complete bullshit! You are just running! That is all that you are doing! Things are getting so serious between us and you can't take it so you are just going to bail!" Tyler yells the anger fueling her fire.

"I'm not fucking running Tyler! Do you not understand that I need to fix myself? I have to fix myself! I cannot go back in life, I have to push forward and in order to do that I have got to heal! Fuck, Tyler! Do you think that this is something that I want to do?"

"I think that you have had your fucking mind made up for the past two weeks and you are just now getting around to telling me! Make some fucking plans Riley! Do something with your life! No one is stopping you but you! What the fuck do you want?"

Riley falls silent. Her anger has all but disappeared as she is asked a question that no one has ever really asked her before. Before she knows it, Riley is experiencing the worst case of word vomit that anyone has ever had.

"You! I fucking want you! I want all of you! From the first moment I laid my fucking eyes on you I knew that you were going to be someone to me but I had no goddamn idea you would be _the someone_! I cannot see my life without you, Tyler. I love you. Good God damn I love you. I love every bit of you. I love your mood swings and your laugh and how you talk in your sleep and how you twitch right before you fall asleep. I do not want to ever be with anyone else but you. I want to spend my life with you! I want a house that we make our home and I want a family and to get married. I want a life with you. I want to cuddle on the couch and watch movies. I want to lay in our bed and talk about the little nothings that make up our days. You have completely changed my entire life and it is the best thing that has ever happened to me! You are my angel. So, what do I want? I want you. I want all of you. I want every kiss, every hug, every hiccup, every inch of you."

Tyler sits on the couch next to her girlfriend and she is utterly speechless. Words bounce around in her mind but they do not pass her lips. She locks her eyes on the brown orbs of Riley Westbrook and she does the next best thing.

Tyler grabs Riley by the collar of her button down shirt and pulls her into the most loving, passionate kiss ever given. This catches Riley by surprise but it only takes a few seconds for her to acknowledge what is happening and she kisses her girlfriend back. The kiss starts at a not too slow but not too fast pace though it very quickly becomes more heated. Before either of them realize what has happened, Riley has laid Tyler back on the couch and is holding her weight above her girlfriend with her strong arms. It quickly becomes clear where this is heading and Riley pulls away from lips that she wants so badly to feel against her entire body.

"Tyler...we do not have to do this. I don't want to rush you or push you into anything." Riley says breathlessly.

Tyler looks up into the normally muddy water brown eyes but finds that they have darkened to nearly black with desire. Within them though, she sees a huge amount of respect and a hint of fear.

"Riley...I'm ready. I want this. I want you...I'm ready." she replies just as breathlessly.

Riley hesitates for a few seconds, just long enough for Tyler to notice her restraint. Jade green eyes move from black orbs to her girlfriends neck and then down her torso and then back up to the black pools again.

"Riley...I want to make love to you. I want you so much more than you know. I can't tell you just how much I want you so...if it's okay...I'm just going to show you." Tyler nearly whispers.

The black eyed girl simply nods, fearing that her words would fail her anyway.

Tyler leans up and captures the lips of her girlfriend again. This kiss is filled with passion and want and desire but it remains soft. She kisses along her jaw line to her ear lobe and then down her neck. Tyler can feel Riley's heart beat pound in her neck and chooses that particular spot to bite down on earning a low moan to escape her girlfriends throat. She snakes her hands under the back of her pitcher's shirt, very gently running her finger tips up her spine and then dragging her nails down her back. This causes Riley to shutter and a gasp to pass her lips. Tyler moves her lips back to the lips of the now completely black eyed girl hovering above her. There is raw passion and desire in both sets of lips and the ability to hold anything back is swiftly disappearing. Tyler takes Riley's lip ring between her teeth pulling it ever so slightly and this is the action that sends the hovering girl into a fit of desire.

Riley kissed Tyler like she had never been kissed before. She could literally taste the desire on her girlfriends lips. The kiss was hungry and full of passion so when Tyler felt the tip of Riley's tongue against her lips she immediately opened her mouth and began the battle for dominance. Tyler was the first to break the kiss. She pulled away breathlessly and found herself saddened when Riley removed herself from the hovering position. Thinking that something was wrong, Tyler sat up.

"Riley, what's wrong?" she asked still trying to catch her breath.

"I want you so bad, Tyler." Riley answered, locking her brown eyes with the green.

"Then take me..."

Riley didn't need to be told anything else. She leaned in and kissed Tyler again. Her hand slid underneath her girlfriends shirt but rested on her hip. She kissed Tyler's neck and then bit it teasingly causing Tyler's breath to catch in her throat. She ran her fingers through Riley's hair and rested her hand on the back of her head. Tyler began to lay back but kept her hand on Riley's head so that she would follow her down.

When she laid back, Tyler's shirt rose slightly exposing her hip bones and the skin of her stomach below her belly button. Riley saw this and decided that she would take the chance. She pulled away from Tyler's hand and moved her lips down to the exposed skin. She placed her lips against the tan skin lightly. Once...twice...three times but then she heard her girlfriend moan at the sensation. Hearing this turned Riley on much more than she already was and before she knew it she was kissing and lightly biting. The first time she grazed her teeth over her girlfriend's hip bone, Tyler grabbed the back of her head again and held it in place. Riley moved about two inches away from her hip bone and bit harder than she had been and sucked on the beautiful skin. She had no idea just how much this had turned Tyler on until she felt herself being pushed back up into a sitting position and her girlfriend straddled her which caught Riley completely by surprise. Tyler crossed her arms below her chest and took the bottom of her own shirt in her hands before pulling it off over her head and dropping it onto the couch beside them. Riley could do nothing but stare at her girlfriend. Her tan skin, her taught abdomen, her black lace bra..she was beautiful and she was begging to be touched.

Tyler leaned down and kissed her girlfriends lips and then moved to her neck. She ran her hands under the button down shirt that the pitcher was wearing and slid it down her shoulders. Riley helped get her arms out of the shirt and then immediately removed the tee shirt that she wore under the black button down. Both of the girls wore their jeans and only a bra and neither could take their eyes off of the other. Riley was the first to break the gaze when she leaned down and started kissing her girlfriends chest and shoulders. Tyler, trying to have one coherent thought that didn't involve her love being entirely naked, stood from her position on her pitcher's lap and took her hand and pulled her up into a standing kiss. The two of them began making their way to the bedroom without ever breaking the kiss. Just as they stepped into the hallway, Tyler pulled away from the kiss and looked into Riley's black eyes.

"Baby, don't be afraid to hurt me. Don't hold back." the catcher whispered.

Though Riley heard what her girlfriend said the words did not compute in her brain and Tyler could see that in her eyes. She decided that she needed to show Riley rather than tell her so without giving herself the opportunity to second guess her decision, Tyler put her hands on Riley's hips and pushed her hard into the wall. She held her hands over her head and looked deep into the black eyes.

"Do. Not. Hold. Back." she said again putting emphasis on each word.

Riley, showing more strength than Tyler knew she possessed, got her hands away from her girlfriend and bent her knees and wrapped her arms around the catchers thighs. She lifted her off of the floor and slammed her against the wall hard. Tyler locked her feet behind Riley's back and locked her hands in her dark brown hair. Riley loved to have her hair pulled and something inside Tyler told her that little fact so when her grip tightened around the locks it was not surprise when Riley's passion grew. She pushed herself against her catcher's body and bit down on her shoulder. Tyler moaned loudly and threw her head back against the wall.

Riley pulled Tyler away from the wall and carried her into the bedroom where the catcher unlocked her feet and slid down the toned and muscular body that held her up with ease. She sat down on the bed in front of Riley and put one hand on each of her hips. She pulled her girlfriend closer to her and kissed her stomach. She planted soft kisses on her abdomen and on the tattoo that Riley had on her right ribcage. She looked up at her girlfriend as she unfastened the button of her jeans and pulled the zipper down slowly never breaking the locked gaze she had on black eyes. Riley's jeans fell to the floor and exposed her dark blue Chevrolet boxers which made Tyler smile and shake her head.

"Are you laughing at my underwear, ma'am?" Riley asked playfully.

"Baby, you own a motorcycle and you are in love with my mom's car but you are wearing boxers with a truck. Is there something you need to tell me? Are you a closet truck person?"

"Oh, there is no closet to this honey. I am a hell of a truck person, Chevy to be exact." Riley answered with a small smile.

The pitcher leaned down and kissed her girlfriend and pushed her back onto the bed. Just like on the couch, Riley hovered over Tyler and didn't allow their stomach's to touch. Tyler wanted nothing more than to feel her girlfriends skin against her own and she didn't understand why Riley wouldn't allow it.

Riley knew that Tyler wanted to feel the skin to skin contact but it was the anticipation that she was counting that would be making her girlfriend wait completely worth it.

Riley began kissing Tyler's abdomen and around her hip bones where she grazed her teeth and felt her girlfriend tense. She unfastened the button of her pants and pulled the zipper down. She hooked her fingers in the top of the denim and pulled them down the long tan legs. She kissed her way back up her thighs to her hip, up her stomach to her chest, up her neck to her lips. It was once their lips were locked again that Riley finally lowered her own body onto Tyler. Once their skin touched, Tyler moaned and drug her nails down her pitcher's back.

Five minutes later, the very little amount of clothing that the two girls had been wearing were coving the floor of Riley's bedroom and the two girls were completely lost in each other. Riley kissed down her pitcher's body; between her breasts, down her stomach, and continued down. With one touch of her tongue, Tyler shuddered and Riley continued the slow motion with her tongue. It wasn't until the pitcher entered her girlfriend that Tyler even realized how much she truly wanted Riley Westbrook. Riley was patient and careful and loving and...good at what she did. She moved in and out slowly but never exited her angel. She pushed in deep and moved her fingers in just the right way. Tyler could not contain the moans and gasps that escaped from her lips and throat. Riley continued to move her fingers but then she moved down and used her tongue in time with her fingers. She could feel Tyler getting closer and closer to the edge. The closer Tyler got to her release the faster Riley moved her fingers and tongue. Every muscle in Tyler's toned body tightened as she reached her peak. She had a handful of Riley's hair which tightened as her back arched off of the bed and her hips raised and she let out a scream of pleasure.

The catcher's breath was rough and ragged and racing as was her heart. She had been with someone sexually before but it was nowhere this intense or pleasurable. She that Riley was way more experienced than she was in that situation but she had no idea that she would feel this way. She laid in the bed with her legs feeling like pudding and her toes tingling and she was attempting to pop her jaw but it wasn't working.

"Tyler, what are you doing?" Riley asked seeing the motion her girlfriend was making with her mouth.

"My face is numb...my toes are tingling...my legs are basically useless...this is normal, right?" Tyler asked with slight embarrassment.

"Well, I'm not trying to blow my own horn here but um...that's normal with me..." Riley answered.

"Holy shit, Riley...every time?" Tyler asked.

"Every time." Riley answered.

Tyler lay there next to her girlfriend in silence for a few minutes and this worried Riley.

"Baby, what's wrong?"

Tyler smirked to herself before locking her eyes with Riley's.

"Your turn.."

 _ **Okay so I am so sorry that it has taken me so long to post this chapter. I have had a lot happen in the past few weeks but I have finally finished this one! I really hope that you are enjoying the story so far. And trust me when I say there is still much much more to come. THANKYOU for sticking with me! Give me some reviews people and let me know what you think is going to happen next!**_


	17. The Graduation Gift

_**Okay so before I start this chapter I wanted to say thank you to all of those who have been following, reviewing, and keeping up with this story. I assure you things are about to pick back up as far as the action goes and I only hope that you don't cross me off altogether because of what I'm about to do...**_

Tyler and Riley had been together for nearly five months and they were stronger than any other couple that attended Valley High. They were the couple that everyone wanted to be. They had the relationship that everyone else had only ever hoped for. Riley was a hopeless romantic and Tyler was hopelessly in love with her. Tyler was Riley's angel and Riley was Tyler's cowboy. After everything that the two of them had been through both as a couple and as individuals only made their relationship stronger. The fear of one losing the other was so...terrifying. Tyler had thought that she had lost her cowboy when she was taken hostage in the precinct where her family worked and was shot in the heart. Riley thought that she was going to lose her angel because of all the baggage that came with her. But, at the end of the day, they were all each other needed, wanted, and planned to keep. They were so in love. They meant the world to each other. They would be lost without each other. They were there to take care of each other. They were there to love each other with every breath that entered and then exited their bodies.

 _ **Benson Residence; May 10, 2008; 5:15 pm**_

"Have I told you lately that I am madly, deeply, truly and completely in love with you?" Riley asked as she slid her arms around the waist of her angel.

"No, but now you have and I love you so, so much." Tyler answered as she locked her fingers between her cowboys.

"You two are so sweet I'm going to get diabetes just by watching you together." Olivia joked from the dining room table.

Tyler and Riley turned to face the detective and stuck their pierced tongues out at the same time.

"Okay, we need to talk about graduation. TJ, you already know that you are going to get your gift on graduation day. But, Liv and I made the decision that Riley needs hers before graduation. Actually, we all decided that you need yours today...we all decided that you need yours today and you will be getting it tonight after dinner with the entire family. It only seems right as this gift is from all of us." Casey said with a very satisfied look on her face.

"Is there any point in arguing at this point?" Riley asked with a defeated expression.

"No, ma'am there is no point at all." Casey replied.

"TJ, take Riley to her house so that she can get ready for dinner tonight and then you two can come back here while you get ready. We will meet you at the restaurant around 7." Olivia said with a smirk.

"I know that look...what did you do?" Tyler asked.

"I haven't done anything at all. I am actually very innocent in all of this. However, I didn't disagree when the idea was proposed." the detective answered with a full on smile. "Now, it's 5:30 and I know that you are going to need time to do your hair so you two need to get going."

Tyler took Riley by the hand and led her to her Jeep. The two of them got in and made their way to Riley's house.

"You understand that this is without a single doubt the best idea you have ever had?" Olivia asked her wife.

"Oh, really? And here I thought giving you a chance twenty years ago was the best idea I ever had." Casey replied jokingly.

 _ **1205 Glendale Drive; 5:45 pm**_

"Hey, baby, do you want your black button down or the white one?" Tyler called from the bedroom.

"I think I want the black, white, and silver one that has the design on the back." Riley called from the shower.

"Do you want me to iron it?" Tyler asked as she walked into the bathroom holding up the wrinkled shirt.

Riley poked her head out from behind the solid black shower curtain and looked at the shirt in her angels hand.

"Do you have time for that?" Riley asked.

"You underestimate my abilities, cowboy." Tyler said with a wicked wink and a extra shake of her hips as she walked out of the bathroom.

"No, ma'am I do not." Riley said under her breath.

Tyler stood in the living room with the ironing board in front of her, the shirt on the board, and the iron in her hand. Riley stood in the doorway that led into her hallway and watched the girl that she loved more than anything else in the world. She watched Tyler as she moved gracefully and as a small smile tugged at the corner of her lips. She watched as the steam rose up from the shirt and the iron and surrounded her angel. Everything about this girl was mesmerizing to Riley. The way she moved, the way her hair bounced when she walked with such stature, the way she smiled and an entire room would go dim at the beauty she possesses, the ability she had to make her cowboy feel as though there was no other human being or living creature in existence except for her. There was not one single thing about Tyler Jane Benson that Riley did not love completely without any doubt or a seconds hesitation.

"You know I can feel you standing there staring at me, right?" Tyler asked.

"I know you can, angel. It never fails to amaze me though." Riley replied.

"What doesn't?"

"The way that you can pull me in so much with something as simple as the movement of your body. The way you have managed to stay this long. The way you haven't gotten tired of me yet. The way that you amaze me every single day. Do you have any idea how amazing you are?"

"No, I really don't think I do. But, you know what? I'm pretty sure you are going to spend the rest of our life together showing me how amazing you think I am."

"Tyler, I want you to know that you changed my life the moment I saw you that night outside the restaurant. From that moment to this one and every single minute between then I have fallen more and more in love with you. I'm not exactly sure how or why or when but somewhere along the way you became my entire world in a 4'10 package. We have had our fights and our arguments and we have said things that we don't really mean but we haven't left each other. I love you so damn much. I cannot picture my life without you in it. You are my future. You are so amazing. I want to spend every waking second with you and every second of slumber with my arms around you. I didn't truly understand the meaning of the word love until I found you. My heart has been broken and shattered and bruised and damaged and even after all of that it still belongs to you. I love you Tyler Jane Benson always and forever."

Tyler wiped a tear from her eye. She walked over to her cowboy, who was standing there in her blue jeans and a sports bra, and she gently ran her finger down the scar on Riley's chest.

"I love you so much, Riley. There's nothing that can explain how much I love you. Thank you for everything that you do. Thank you for caring so much the way that you do. Thank you for always being my shoulder to cry on. Thank you for always being my reason behind everything I do. Thank you for taking care of me. Thank you for simply being you. I don't want to experience life without you in it. The way we act when we see each other is amazing. I love you to infinity and beyond baby girl. Don't you ever think about leaving me or leaving what we have. You are great and you are perfect. You're everything to me. You are everything I have ever wanted Riley."

 _ **Butler Family Diner; 7:15pm**_

"Your daughter is late, Liv." Casey said from her spot at the table across from her wife.

"My daughter?" Olivia questioned.

"Yes, your daughter. She is late and we both know why she is late and that means that right now she is your daughter."

"We are not going to discuss the reasoning behind why Tyler Jane and Riley are late. That is my granddaughter and for the time being I like Riley. Let's not give me a reason not to like her." Cragen said with a stern expression.

"I am so sorry that we are late! Traffic was killer." Tyler said as she and Riley approached the table.

"I'm sure it was traffic." Elliot said under his breath earning him a punch in the shoulder from his partner.

"Riley, Tyler Jane how nice of you two to join us." Cragen said.

"Captain." the two girls greeted in unison sharing the slightly terrified expression as they saw the stern look on his face.

Riley pulled the chair out for Tyler who took her seat as naturally as she brushed her teeth every morning. Once Tyler was sat down and comfortable Riley took her seat beside her angel.

"We have a Dr. Pepper and a Sweet Tea on the way for you two but we haven't ordered yet." Olivia said as she looked down at her menu.

Casey, Cragen, Elliot, and Finn watched as the two young love birds picked up their separate menus but still managed to hold each other's hands without even thinking about it. They had watched the two of them many times before and it was always the same. They always held hands on top of the table. They always exchanged glances and small smiles when their eyes met. They were always so happy together. They always talked about their day as if they had been together for five years and not just five months. Every member of the family could see how much Tyler loved Riley and they could all finally see that Riley loved Tyler. It had nothing to do with the fact that they spent damn near every moment together or that they held hands like they were afraid the other was going to get away. It had nothing to do with the fact that they had more sleepovers than any little girl and her friends. It had everything to do with the way the two younger girls looked at each other. If their eyes locked it was like nothing and no one else in the world existed. If one looked at the other while unaware, the small smile and the glow was beyond apparent. It had everything to do with the way they took care of each other in the tiniest of ways. It was very well known that Riley suffered from social anxiety but Tyler never failed to be right there beside her and she never failed to let her cowboy know that everything was alright. Tyler took care of Riley more than Riley took care of Tyler but Riley made up for it by being both a respectful gentleman and the perfect girlfriend.

Cragen finished his last bite of his steak as everyone else was just receiving their dessert. Tyler and Casey were having strawberry cheesecake, Elliot and Finn were having fried ice cream, Olivia was having pecan pie, and Riley was having nothing as she was not a dessert person.

"Riley, let's take a walk." Cragen said as he stood up from the table.

"Yes, sir." was Riley's response as she also stood from the table.

The two of them walked out of the diner and out into the parking lot where Riley and Tyler had seen each other for the very first time.

"So, graduation is in a few days and Liv tells me that you have actually decided that you may want to go to college after all."

"Well, I never thought that I would long enough to graduate high school let alone think about college. I haven't even taken my ACT yet but I am doing some studying and Casey is helping me with the parts that I find damn near impossible to comprehend. I have no idea what I want to do or who I want to be but I am damn determined to be somebody." Riley answered as she took a cigarette out of her pocket and lit it.

"You know those things will kill you and considering your heart you are doing twice the damage."

"I know sir but honestly a cigarette or two here and there is the least of my worries. I have made all of these big decisions lately and my entire life is going to change and things are going to happen that I never imagined. I need this right now."

"I understand completely. Olivia tells me that you are showing interest in something where you take care of others. She says that you have a very strong protective instinct and that you would be ideal to be a detective. I have to say that she is right about your potential but I don't think you want to be in law. I think that you are the medical type of person. Am I right?"

"My birth mother is a lawyer. My biological father was the leader of an Irish mob family. I have been accepted into the family of my girlfriend that is made up of detectives and an ADA...but yes, you're right. I want to work in the medical field. Is that weird? I mean I was affiliated with the same mob family that my father ran. I never thought that I would get the chance to decide what I wanted to do with my life or who I wanted to be but now I have that chance. The idea of taking care of people..it just makes my heart swell and flutter in a non medical way. Taking care of people makes me happy. It makes me feel fulfilled. I haven't made any decisions about anything for sure yet but that is what I'm leaning towards."

"Riley, the possibilities are endless for you. You could be a nurse or a doctor or a lawyer or a detective or anything else that you can think of. I know for a fact that whatever you decide to do you are going to be great at it. I also know that whatever you decide to do you have a very supportive and loving family behind you one hundred percent. Speaking of that loving and supportive family, there is a girl and a decision that you made about that girl that I want to talk to you about. Liv told me what you decided and what you are going to do. I want to tell you that..."

"Why are you two still out here?" Tyler asked as she walked out into the parking lot.

"We are just talking about some things, angel. We are about to go back inside though." Riley answered.

"Well, hurry up. Mom wants to get this gift giving going." she said as she turned and made her way towards the door. "Riley, don't think that I don't know that you are out here smoking!" she called as she walked inside.

"Well, I'm busted." Riley said as she threw her cigarette to the ground.

"Riley, you have my support on your decision. I love you and I love Tyler and...I support you." Cragen said and then walked past Riley as he rubbed his left eye.

"Alright Riley Westbrook, you are just as much a part of this family as any of us are and it's because we love you that we have decided to get together and get you a gift for graduation. Finn, Elliot, Captain, Liv and I have all put everything we have together and now we want to give you this." Casey said as she handed Riley a small black box.

"Are y'all proposing to me?" Riley joked.

"Just open the damn box, cowboy." Finn said from across the table.

Riley looked at Tyler who smiled at her and then she opened the box. Her eyes grew wide and her breath caught in her throat.

"This...this...this...these are...um..." Riley attempted to speak but couldn't.

Tyler stood up and took Riley's hand and led her to the front door of the diner.

"Baby, your bike is sexy as hell and you are sexy as hell on it but you cannot ride it all year long. I am not going to have you catch pneumonia because you are riding that damn motorcycle in the snow and the rain."

The family walked outside and in the parking lot was parked a 2008 Challenger. It was black with two silver stripes down the hood. The rims were chrome and damn did that thing shine.

"This...this...this...that." Riley tried again.

"You're welcome, rock star." Casey said as she could see the younger girl struggling.

"You got me a car...a mother fucking challenger...holy mother..."

"Language." Casey interrupted.

Tyler took the keys out of the black box and held them up in front of her girlfriend. "Take me for a ride, baby."

And with that the two girls made their way toward the car. Suddenly, Riley stopped mid step and turned back toward the people that had become her family. She ran back to them and threw her arms around Casey and mouthed thank you to Olivia. Both of the older women smiled.


	18. Graduation Part 1

This was it. Today was the day. May 14, 2008...Graduation day. Today Tyler and Riley and Remmie and April and all of their classmates would put on their robes and they would walk out onto the football field Today was the day where they would take their seats in alphabetical order in front of their family and their friends. And today was the day that they all would receive their diplomas. Today was the day that Tyler Jane Benson had been working towards and planning for her entire life. Today was the day that Riley Westbrook didn't think she would live to see. Today was the day that the graduating class of 2008 would end their high school days and start on their journey into their adult lives.

 _ **Benson Residence; May 14, 2008; 8:15 am**_

"Case?" Olivia called as she could not find her wife anywhere in the house. "Casey?" she called as she made her way up the stairs. "Baby, what are you doing?" she asked as she found her ADA sitting on their daughters bed in the dark.

"Liv, our little girl is graduating high school in about ten hours. It feels like yesterday she was falling off her bike and busting her knees all to hell. Where did the time go? Where did our little girl go?" Casey asked as tears escaped her eyes and made their way down her cheeks.

"Oh, baby...we still have our little girl. She is still the little girl that fell off of her bike and busted up her knees. She is still the little girl that took her first steps in the precinct. She is still the little girl that you took to the batting cages and she got hit with the first pitch. She is still that little girl, honey. But, now she is just older and more mature and in love and starting out on the adventure that everyone calls life."

"Olivia, I am not ready for her to go out on her own. We have had her here for eighteen years and she is just going to leave?"

"Casey, you have to let her get out on her own. She is beyond ready to start her life. She is so smart just like you. She knows how to get herself out of trouble just like you. She knows what her instincts are and she is so very in tune with them just like me. She is braver than Elliot but not anywhere near as reckless as he is. She has keen senses just like Finn and she is aware of her surroundings like him. She is well rounded and full of useless information like Munch. And she is as wise as Cragen. You and I, we have an amazing daughter. She is smart and funny and wise and ready to start her life." Olivia explained.

"And cocky. Don't forget cocky." Casey added with a smile.

"There is no way she could be our daughter and not be at least a little cocky." Olivia agreed.

 _ **1205 Glendive Avenue; May 14, 2008; 8:15 am**_

"Tyler, we have got to get out of the bed and get ready. You know as well as I do that Remmie and April have no issue busting up in my house and I don't think that they would appreciate finding a very naked and sleeping you in my bed. Although, I personally enjoy a very naked you in my bed." Riley says in an attempt to awaken her girlfriend.

"How about you get naked and get back in the bed with me? To hell with Remmie and April. We can lock the door. I know for a fact that they do not have a key." Tyler attempts her best sexy voice.

"Baby girl, you know that I would love nothing more than to crawl back into bed with you and spend eternity there but it just so happens that we have a lunch date with you parents and we both have to get ready for graduation tonight."

"If you insist, cowboy."

"I do have an idea though." Riley says with a smirk pulling at the left corner of her lips.

"And what might that be?" Tyler asks.

 _ **1205 Glendive Avenue; May 14, 2008; 9:30 am**_

"Tyler! Riley! Where the hell are you guys?" Remmie called from the front door of Riley's house.

There was no answer. Tyler's Jeep was in the driveway. Riley's Challenger was parked next to the Jeep and her motorcycle was under the shed so the two friends knew that the two of them were there. As they figured the two lovebirds were still sleeping, April and Remmie made their way down the hallway to the bedroom but heard water running in the shower. The two friends knew exactly what was going on in that shower and it didn't involve washing each other's back so they went back to the living room and made themselves comfortable on the couch.

Thirty minutes later, Tyler walked into the living room wearing nothing but a towel and noticed her two friends sitting on the couch.

"You fucking creepers!" she yelled.

"Hey, at least we didn't bust in the bathroom and yank the curtain back!" April said in their defense.

Tyler was about to go completely crazy on her friends for being perverted and sitting in the living room while her and Riley did...things in the shower but her thoughts were interrupted when she felt the arms of her girlfriend wrap around her waist. Tyler knew that even twenty years from now Riley would be able to wrap her arms around her waist and everything else in the world would disappear.

"It's a really good thing you two didn't bust in the bathroom. You might have learned something new and later been accused of cheating." Riley said with a smirk.

"You must think that you really are hot shit, Westbrook." Remmie said playfully.

"Oh, no ma'am. I know that I'm hot shit" Riley replied with a wink causing Tyler to blush.

"Go get a shirt on you cocky bitch and Tyler you really need some clothes and then we all need to head over to Joe's. The entire class is meeting there for coffee at 1030. That gives you roughly thirty minutes to get ready." April announced.

"Baby, that actually works out since we are meeting your parents at 1130. We can just leave Joe's and go meet them at the diner. I mean if that's what you want to do?" Riley asked her angel.

Tyler smiled at her girlfriend. "I love you so much." she said.

"Forever?" Riley asked.

"And always." Tyler answered.

The two exchanged a smile and a kiss and then Tyler disappeared into the hallway to get dressed in the bedroom. Riley watched her as she walked away.

"You have everything set up, right?" Riley asked as she turned her attention back to the two friends on the couch.

"Riley, you really need to take a deep breath and put a little faith in your two best buddies. April has pulled her strings and gotten everyone informed. I have pulled my strings and I went to her mom and picked up the thing. You have nothing to worry about, okay?" Remmie answered.

"I know that I don't have anything to worry about but that does not stop me from being worried. I am terrified. I am nervous. I am worried. And she does not have a fucking clue." Riley said.

"Go get a damn shirt on, Romeo. We have got to get going." April said as she laughed.

 _ **Joe's Coffee Shop; May 14, 2008; 11:15**_

"Tyler, if we are going to be on time for our lunch date we are going to have to get going. I have a sneaking suspicion that your parents are already there." Riley said.

"Yes, my love. We will see you guys in a few hours." Tyler said to her classmates.

The two young lovers joined hands and made their way down the street to get to Butler Family Diner that was only two blocks away. For a while they were both silent and merely enjoyed the alone time that they were having. No, they weren't spooning in the bed or cuddling on the couch watching a movie but they were together and that is all that the two of them needed.

"Riley..." April began. "You are mine forever, right? No one and nothing can tear us apart. I am going to be keeping you for as long as I possibly can and I know that you are going to keep me too. I want it to always be you and me against the world. I love you so fucking much. We are so damn strong and that's how I know that nothing can separate us or come between us. I'm not ever going to leave you. I wish that I could explain to you how much you mean to me but there is nothing that can describe it. I do know that I am yours and you are mine forever and always. I love you so much."

"I'm not going to lie to you, angel. I am scared that you are going to leave me. I'm scared that you are going to decide that I am not worth all of this trouble. I'm scared of losing you. I'm scared of you finding someone that you want more than you want me. I'm terrified of being without you. You are my world now and if I lost you my whole world would simply cease to exist. My heart would stop beating and my soul would wither up and blow away in the wind. I love you more than any author can write, more than any singer can sing, more than any artist can paint or sculpt, more than all of the fairytales and the love stories combined. You are my world, my heart, my rock, my light, and my future. I love you, baby girl." Riley replied.

"Riley Westbrook, please don't ever leave me. I love you. I need you. I want you. I depend on you. Just as you walk away you hear a sweet voice say stay."

"You know I love it when you do that. You are the only person that understands how much music means to me an when you text me lyrics or when you say them in the middle of our conversations it just makes me love you that much more. As far as me leaving goes, I am not leaving you. Not now, not ever. You are stuck with me and I am stuck with you, remember? The ups and the downs, the good and the bad, the light and the dark, the highs and the lows...it's you and me against the shit hole that is this world. Forever..."

"and always." Tyler finished.

Riley pulled Tyler into a hug and the blonde melted into her cowboy's embrace. She knew that she would never get tired of those arms around her or the smell of Riley's cologne in her nose or the way her knees went weak when Riley touch her. This girl was her one and only. Riley Westbrook was Tyler's soul mate and Tyler knew that without a shadow of a doubt. She didn't even question that fact and neither did Riley or anyone that knew the two of them.

 _ **Benson Residence; May 14, 2008 5:00 pm**_

"Tyler Jane Benson, get your ass down here now! We need to get going so that you can be on time for your graduation! Let's go!" Olivia called up the stairs.

"Mother, perfection takes time and I need to look perfect tonight!" Tyler called back.

"Honey, perfection does not exist. Beautiful does and you would be beautiful if you were wearing a black trash bag." Casey called.

"Perfection doesn't exist? Clearly you have not taken a very good look at Riley Westbrook if you are convinced of that!" Tyler called back.

She had no idea that Riley was sitting in the living room and was hearing every word that was being said. She made her way down the stairs with her hair curled and her makeup done flawlessly. Her white dress hugged her hips and her toned calf muscles that were the perfect olive color were glowing in the light. Her green eyes shown brilliantly and her lips shimmered. Riley sat on a chair in the middle of the living room and took in the sight of the girl that she loved.

"Tyler, you look amazing." she said softly.

"I didn't know that you were here..." Tyler said sheepishly.

"That's because I didn't want you to know that I was here." Riley said with her signature smirk on the left corner of her lips.

"Why didn't you want me to know that you were here?"

"Because I like to catch you by surprise from time to time. I need to keep you on your toes."

"Riley Westbrook, I know you better than you know yourself and I know for a fact that you are here for a reason. What is that reason?"

Riley turned to Olivia and Casey. "Can you give us just a minute, please?"

The two older women nodded and walked out of the front door to give them some privacy. Riley turned back to her girlfriend and her nerves began to take her over.

"Tyler, I have been thinking nonstop about what you said to me earlier. You said 'please don't ever leave me' and that has been playing in my head over and over again. So, I am here to put your mind and your heart at ease. I have no intention of ever leaving you. I never want to spend another minute of my life without you. When I came here, I was in this spot in my life where I didn't believe in much at all. I didn't believe in love or hope or destiny or fate or soul mates or anything like that. I had one goal and one goal only: survive. But all of that changed the second I met you. When I first looked into your eyes and when we first shook hands I started to believe in things again. It wasn't until I realized I was falling in love with you that I realized just how wrong I had been when I first got here. I saw you, I met you, I liked you, I loved you, and now...I'm never going to be without you." Riley said as she sat on the stool and held her guitar in her hands while Tyler stood there speechless and unmoving.

"Good afternoon everyone, we are currently in the process of getting ready for one of the most important nights of our lives and now on to changing the lives of two of the most amazing human beings I have ever met." April said as she walked into view from the kitchen.

"These two people met at school and everyone knew that very day that they were going to get together. There was not one single girl in that school that was not jealous of our little TJ. She had caught the eye of the sexiest girl that any of us had ever seen but what no one knew was that she had caught so much more than her eye." Remmie added as she stepped out of the kitchen behind April and Tyler looked at her two best friends in the entire world and she saw their jealousy and their honest yearning to have what Tyler was being offered.

"My little slugger had caught those big brown orbs but she had also taken hold of the heart that beats within the chest of a very amazing girl that everyone has come to know and love like she was born into the family. What started out as a mere crush soon bloomed into so very much more and everyone else could see it before either of the two knew what had hit them." Casey said as she walked back into the house through the front door as Tyler looked to her mother who she shared her deepest secrets with and saw that the red haired woman was smiling so lovingly and happily.

"So, without any further delays please give one Miss Riley Westbrook your attention as she is going to provide us some first class entertainment before we all go off and watch these four amazing girls sit and walk and receive the piece of paper that they have been working their entire lives to obtain. Riley, the floor and the attention of everyone is yours..." Olivia finished as she entered behind her wife while Tyler looked at her mom who she had considered her hero from since she could remember and she saw understanding and approval.

Tyler looked around the room in confusion and hung on every single word everyone had said. She followed them with her eyes as they all appeared and then she turned to Riley. Riley was still sitting on the stool and she still had her acoustic guitar in her hands which made it apparent that she was going to play and sing but to what purpose?

"Four letter word

But I don't have the guts to say it

Smile 'til it hurts

Let's not make it complicated

We've got a story

And I'm about to change the ending

You're perfect for me

And more than just a friend

So we can just stop pretending now

I gotta let you know somehow

I'll be your shelter

I'll be your storm

I'll make you shiver

I'll keep you warm

Whatever weather

Baby I'm yours

Be your forever, be your fling

Baby I will be your everything

Baby I

Baby I will

Baby I will be your everything

We used to say

That we would always stick together

But who's to say

That we could never last forever

Girl, got a question

Could you see yourself with somebody else?

'Cause I'm on a mission

And I don't wanna share

I want you all to myself right now

I just wanna scream it out

I'll be your shelter

I'll be your storm

I'll make you shiver

I'll keep you warm

Whatever weather

Baby I'm yours

Be your forever, be your fling

Baby I will be your everything

Baby I

Baby I will

Baby I will be your everything

No matter what you do, yeah,

Oh, I'll be there for you

And every time you close your eyes

I will be by your side

'Cause every time you make me sing

Baby I will be your everything

I'll be your shelter

I'll be your storm

But I'll make you shiver

I'll keep you warm

Whatever weather

Baby I'm yours

Be your forever, be your fling

Baby I will be your everything

Baby I

Baby I will

Baby I will be your everything

Baby I

Baby I will

Baby I will be your everything

Baby I

Baby I will

Baby I will be your everything..." she ended.

Tyler could feel her heart pounding against her chest and she could feel that her legs were turning to jello. She could not hold the tears back any longer as they escaped her eyes and made their way down her perfectly painted cheeks.

Riley propped her guitar against the stool as she stood and she started walking towards the girl that had completely changed her life and turned her world upside down. She walked up to her and took her hands in her own. She looked deeply into the jade green eyes that she had been lost in so many times before.

"You told me once that the first time you saw me, you knew that I would be someone to you. Well, I knew the same thing. The first time I looked into your eyes I saw it. I don't really know what it was but I saw it as clearly as I see you now. I can't see my life without you in it, angel. Just to think about being without you turns my stomach to knots. You're stuck with my ups and my downs, my light and my dark, my good and my bad, my hopes and my dreams, my ADHD and my OCD, my sleepy nonsense talk and my nightmares. I have never felt this way before in my entire life. You terrify me because you hold my heart in the palm of your hand. That is how you know that I am truly in love with you, baby. I do not give my whole heart to anyone. I have given pieces but I got them back as shattered shards. You have my whole heart. I'm not perfect inside or outside but WE are perfect for each other and WE are perfect together. My world revolves around you. Every second of every moment of every day... I want to spend forever with you, Tyler Jane Benson. You are my life now. I fall deeper and deeper in love with you every single day. I love you to infinity and beyond, more than anything in the world, more, most, forever and always. I am yours and you are mine. Nothing is ever going to change that. You are my life, my baby girl, my rock, my light, my angel, my world, my future and if you will have me...I would like to add fiancé to that list." Riley took a box from Remmie and she dropped down on one knee right there at the bottom of the stairs where Tyler was still standing. "Tyler Jane Benson, it would be both an honor and a privilege if you would do me the biggest kindness in the world...will you be my forever? Will you marry me?"

Tyler looked so deeply into the huge brown eyes of Riley Westbrook and within them she saw the love that the brunette felt for her angel and the honesty and sincerity that every word spoken held and, most importantly, she saw her everything. Tyler knew that there was no way in hell that she could ever be with anyone else. She knew that there was no way in hell that she could ever be without this girl that had stole her heart and was offering to protect it for the rest of their lives.

"Riley Westbrook, I had no idea the first time I saw you that you would be the someone in my life; the most important someone. I cannot see my life without you in it either. When you got shot and went all unconscious for so long, I thought that you would never wake up and that terrified me. If I spend even an hour not talking to you I get lost and confused. We are perfect for each other and we are perfect together. I love you more than I could ever tell you but I plan on spending the rest of my life showing you just how much I love you. Yes, Riley, I will be your forever. I will be your always. I will marry you." The blonde answered with the biggest and most genuine smile that anyone had ever seen spread across her face.

Riley stood up from her position on one knee in the floor and was instantly wrapped in a hug by her now fiancé. Tyler was crying tears of joy. April and Remmie were crying tears of joy. Olivia and Casey were crying tears of joy. Riley was not crying but she could not deny that as soon as Tyler said that she would be her forever and always, her heart started to bang against her chest. She had never been happier in her entire life. Sure, she had been through hell and she had come out on the other side on more than one occasion. It was such a rare occasion that something good came along but when it did, Riley knew that she should never take it for granted and that she would never let it go. The same could be said about Tyler coming into her life. She would never take her angel for granted and she was never, ever going to let her go.


	19. Graduation Part 2

_**Valley High School Football Field**_

Riley and Tyler rode to graduation in the Challenger that was a gift to Riley from her new family. Since she had received the car, Riley had insisted on driving everywhere and Tyler didn't mind as this seemed to make her cowboy happy. Remmie and April rode in Remmie's Jeep and Olivia and Casey rode in Casey's Charger. When they got there they met with Elliot, Fin, Munch, the Captain, and Warner. It was a very, very rare occasion that everyone from the 16 left the station at once but tonight was a very important night as tonight was the night that Tyler was graduating high school. The entire 16 was Tyler's family and now that Riley was so important to her, she was just as important to the members of Tyler's family.

Tyler wore her white gown with all of her ropes for all of her achievements over her white dress and the black and white converse on her feet, April wore a black gown on top of her white dress and black and white converse on her feet, Riley wore khaki pants with a white button down shirt and a black tie with black and white converse on her feet under her black, gown and April was wearing a purple gown over her white dress and black and white converse. As if they had been planning this their entire lives, all four of the girls were wearing converse and, of course, there was a picture or two or ten of just their shoes. Elliot, Fin, Munch, and the Captain all took pictures with Tyler and then with Riley and then with both of them together. Warner, Casey, and Olivia took pictures with Tyler, Riley, April and Remmie, April and Remmie and Tyler and Riley, and then with Tyler and Riley. The four friends took a lot of pictures together and some of them were surrounding the new engagement. Everyone in the family took pictures with the happy couple and then the happy couple took pictures together...even though this was a very huge night in their lives they were still so in love and everyone could see it.

Everyone was so happy. Olivia and Casey were watching their daughter graduate high school and they watched her get proposed to by a girl that they loved very dearly. Elliot, Fin, Munch, and Warner were watching their niece, who they had all watched grow up from a tiny spot on an ultrasound to this very point, graduate high school and they could see that she was happier than she had ever been. The Captain, who watched over his entire team and his claimed daughter and her wife and their daughter, was watching his granddaughter as she took what he considered to be her last adolescent step of life. After tonight she would be a high school graduate and soon she would be a married to a great girl. His heart was truly touched and his eyes were filling with tears already.

"They really do look happy, Liv." Elliot whispered to his partner and old friend as they watched Tyler adjust Riley's tie.

"You know, I did not trust Riley when Tyler first mentioned having coffee with her so many months ago. I did not trust her at all especially with Tyler. Then I started getting to know her and I started to like her. Now, I don't think I would rather see my daughter with anyone else. Riley was put on Earth to love Tyler and Tyler was made to love Riley. I think that they saved each other when they needed it most. Tyler had given up on finding love even though she would never admit that to anyone. Riley had almost given up on life completely. She was in such a dark place and she was cutting herself and she was walking a line of razor blades barefoot with the weight of her past on her shoulders." Olivia replied.

"Tyler and Riley are happier than they ever have been before and they are that happy because they found each other. They didn't know that they were even missing anything in life until they found each other. They found each other and in finding the other they found themselves." Casey added.

"Tyler, baby, if you straighten my tie any more you might just straighten me out completely and neither of us want that." Riley joked.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry. I'm so nervous and on edge and I can't breathe and I'm jittery..." Tyler ranted.

"And you are beautiful and amazing and perfect and mine and I love you." Riley added as she took her angels face in her hands and kissed her nose.

"I love you too, cowboy." Tyler said with a smile.

The happiness faded from everyone when they spotted a certain blonde ex-ADA walking slowly towards their group. Olivia's face went from a proud and happy smile to an angry frown. Casey's smile melted away and her "ass kicking" expression came into view. The remainder of the family were battling their anger and their confusion and it was obvious. Alexandria Cabot could see the looks she was being given by her old co-workers and she had to fight to make herself keep walking.

"What in the hell are you doing here?" Olivia asked through her gritted teeth.

"I invited her." Riley confessed from behind her protective family.

Everyone slowly turned and locked their eyes on the younger brunette.

"You did what?" Casey asked angrily. "Riley, you know exactly what this woman did to you. She gave birth to you and then she left you for dead. She abandoned you. She didn't care about you at all and now she just wants to swoop in and become supermom."

"Actually, what she did was save me. Look, I don't expect you to understand or to accept this but I have been talking to her for the past couple of weeks because I needed answers that no one could give me. Yes, she did abandon me when I was three days old. Yes, she could have done something other than leaving me in a shoe box in the park. But, did she know that she did that to protect me? Did you know that she was raped and that I am the product of that? Did you know that she was raped by the man that Landon Collins took over for? Did you know that she abandoned me in the park because I was in the Collins bloodline and they wanted me in the Collins clan? That's why I was in foster homes in so many different places. I was moved all over because she was trying to keep me away from them. When I told her that I got involved with them anyway it nearly killed her. I have told her everything that went on in my life and that is everything that she was trying to avoid. Alexandria Cabot is my mother and we have a long way to go but I believe that she deserves at least a chance to be a mother." Riley said.

Olivia looked like she had just seen a ghost. Her face was white and held no expression. Elliot, Cragen, Werner, Munch, and Fin were all looking at Riley while Casey was holding her wife's hand and trying to get her out of her head.

"Riley contacted me and told me that she had to have the answers to the questions that were causing craters in her life. I filled in the blanks and then we started bonding. She is my daughter. I regret abandoning her every second of everyday. I have missed her every second of everyday. And I have never stopped loving her. We are trying to get a mother daughter relationship going." Alex added.

Tyler looked the blonde woman up and down and then she looked at Riley. She released Riley's hand and took several steps in the direction of Alex.

"Let me explain something to you right here and now. You see that girl right there?" she asked as she pointed to Riley. "Well that girl is my world, my galaxy, and my universe. I love her more than I ever imagined was possible. She means more to me than anyone will ever know. She has been so very hurt in the past and she is slowly mending all of her broken pieces together. I am not what one would call a fighter unless it comes to softball, my friends, or my family but when it comes to Riley Westbrook I will fucking kill you. Do you hear and understand me? If you hurt her in any shape, form, or fashion I will end your mother fucking life. I will watch you sink in the river and I will smile as you disappear into its depths. You got that?"

Alex looked Tyler up and down and then she looked past her at Riley.

"You have a keeper, Riley." Alex said.

"I know. That's why I asked her to marry me." Riley replied with her signature smirk.

"You did what?" Alex asked in surprise.

Tyler held her left hand out so that the blonde could see her engagement ring.

"You...her...you two..." Alex tried but could not manage to form a sentence.

"Me...Tyler...us...we are getting married. See, I love this crazy, moody, occasionally insane, chocolate addicted girl more than I have ever loved anyone in my entire life. She is my life. She is my world. She is my rock and my light and my strength and my weakness. She is my future and now she is my fiancé. I love her very much." Riley said to Alex.

Alex smiled weakly. "I felt that way once, too." she said softly.

"Alright, let's get you four inside and in line so you can graduate!" Casey called out.

Munch, Fin, Warner, Elliot, and the Captain all sat in the bleachers and watched the ceremony. They all laughed when April got her diploma and struck a pose at the end of the stages exit ramp for all of the cameras. They all laughed when Remmie got her diploma and did her "victory dance" off of the stage. They all began to tear up when Riley got her diploma and looked up at the crowd with her piece of paper held up in the air like a trophy. They all had tears rolling down their cheeks when Tyler got her diploma and kissed Riley as she was walking back to her seat. Casey, Olivia, and Alex all watched from the parents seats which were located behind the seats of the class of 2008. All three of them had cameras in their hands and tears soaking their faces and their shirts.

"Before we do the traditional hat toss into the air, the graduating class of 2008 has put something together. As this is the class of 2008, I have learned that it's just best to let them do what they are going to do. So, ladies and gentlemen...here they are." the principle said.

Everyone in the class stood up from their chairs and made their way behind a curtain that hung behind the stage. It took them about 5 minutes to get everything ready. A soft beat began to play over the speaker system and soon after everyone could hear Riley's voice.

"They said you wouldn't make it so far

And ever since they've said it, it's been hard

But never mind that nights you had to cry

Cause you have never let it go inside

You worked real hard and you know exactly what you want and need so believe

And you can never give up

You can reach your goals

Just talk to your soul and say..." Riley sang alone.

"I believe I can

I believe I will

I believe I know my dreams are real

I believe I'll chant

I believe I'll dance

I believe I'll grow real soon and

That is what I do believe." the class of 2008 sang in unison while Riley's voice could be heard doing back-up.

"Your goals are just a thing in your soul

And you know that your moves will let them show

You keep creating pictures in your mind

So just believe they will come true in time

It will be fine

Leave all of your cares and stress behind

Just let it go

Let the music flow inside

Forget all your pain

And just start to believe" Riley sang alone.

" I believe I can

I believe I will

I believe I know my dreams are real

I believe I'll chant

I believe I'll dance

I believe I'll grow real soon and

That is what I do believe." the entire class sang.

For the next forty five seconds, different people in the class took center stage and did a dance of whatever sort they were feeling at the time. There was some break dancing, some dancing in groups of friends, some couples dancing.

"Never mind what people say

Hold your head high and turn away

With all our hopes and dreams

I will believe

Even though it seems it's not for me

I won't give up

I'll keep it up

Look into the sky

I will achieve all my needs

I will always believe..."Riley sang and she held the last note giving everyone in attendance goose bumps and causing the hair on the back of their necks to stand up.

" I believe I can

I believe I will

I believe I know my dreams are real

I believe I'll chant

I believe I'll dance

I believe I'll grow real soon and

That is what I do believe. ("I do believe in me" Riley sang in the background and held the last word.)

I believe I can

I believe I will

I believe I know my dreams are real

I believe I'll chant

I believe I'll dance

I believe I'll grow real soon and

That is what I do believe. (I do believe Riley sang in the background.)" they all held the last word together.

Every single person in the bleachers, all of the parents in the parent seating area, even people that were at the gas station across the road jumped on their feet and cheered for the class. They clapped and whistled and yelled and screamed. There had never been a graduating class to do anything like this in the entire history of Valley High School and there would never be another class that could do anything that would top this performance.

The seniors all made their way back to their chairs, though they were no longer sitting in the order in which they had been sitting previously. April, Remmie, Tyler, and Riley were all sitting together.

"Please stand...Ladies and gentlemen, family and friends, parents and siblings...I present to you the Valley High School 2008 graduating class!" The principle said into the microphone. And with that last word, graduation caps sailed into the sky and cheers filled the air once again.

Everyone was gathered on the field with their friends and family. Elliot, Fin, Munch, Warner, the Captain, Casey, Olivia, and Alex were standing with Tyler and Riley. They all exchanged their hugs and said congratulations to the two girls. Casey, Olivia and Alex cried as they saw their two girls cry. Tyler was crying tears of achievement as she had been working towards this her entire life. Riley was crying tears of pride as she never imagined that she would be standing there in that moment with her new found family and her real mom and the girl that she would be marrying holding a piece of paper that said she had done something very right in her life.

"Riley Alexandria Westbrook..." Casey said to the younger brunette questioningly.

"Yes ma'am?" Riley replied.

"I had no idea that you had your mother's name."

"Nobody knew. I never told anyone my middle name. To be honest, I have always hated my middle name. Well, I hated it until I started getting to know the woman that my name came from. I still don't like the sound of it but I guess it isn't unbearable now." Riley replied causing everyone to laugh.

"I did that. And I am very proud of that fact." Alex added.

"Look, I love you guys very much but I have got to pee. I will be right back." Riley said to her family.

She kissed Tyler and then made her way through the crowd in the direction of the cafeteria so that she could get to the restroom.

"Tyler Jane Benson, I am so very proud of you." Cragen said to his granddaughter.

She could see the tears glistening in his eyes and she hugged him tight.

"I love you, captain." she whispered in his ear.

"So, are you planning to go partying tonight with the girls and Riley?" Fin asked.

"Actually, we haven't really talked about what we're doing tonight. Remmie and April said something about food which is fine by me. I am starving as usual. As to what we are doing after that, I have not one single clue. I guess I should see what Riley wants to do." Tyler answered. "I'm going to go talk to her and see what she thinks." Tyler then made her way towards the cafeteria to meet up with her love and make plans for the night.

"Alex? What's wrong?" Casey asked as she saw the blonde woman looking out into the crowd with that look that only Alex could give.

The ex-ADA didn't reply.

"Alex?" Casey tried again.

Still she got no answer.

Alex was staring at a man that had dark brown hair and brown eyes. He stood roughly 5 foot 9 and had a very athletic body. He wore dark blue jeans, a black under shirt, a black button down shirt, shining black shoes, and a black leather jacket. He was smirking in the left corner of his lips as he saw that Alex was staring at him. She knew who he was in that second. This was the man that she had spent the last nineteen years of her life trying to forget. This was the man that she had spent the last nineteen years hiding from. This was the man that had raped her. This man was Riley's father. She recognized him and immediately began pushing through the crowd to get to her daughter.

"Riley's car is on fire!" the family heard someone yell over the crowd.

Olivia, Fin, Munch, Elliot, and Cragen all grabbed their guns and pushed through the crowd. Alex, Warner, and Casey were not far behind the detectives. Casey and Warner were not far behind the detectives.

 _ **Valley High Cafeteria Restroom**_

Tyler pushed the door to the restroom open and what she saw instantly melted the smile from her face and all of the happiness drained from her heart. She was frozen for several seconds as she took in the sight before her. There was a busted mirror above the sink to the right of the door with blood staining it's shattered pieces and drops of blood in the sink below the mirror. The wall and the blue grey bathroom stall was covered with crimson splatters and streaks. The white, waxed, tile floor was stained with blood and a small pool of red running between the creases. The room looked as though there had been a double homicide right there in the tiny space. It wasn't until Tyler saw the source of all the blood that reality set in. Laying on the once white floor, surrounded by her own blood was Riley.

Tyler dropped to her knees next to Riley.

"Riley? Baby?" Tyler nearly whispered.

The brunette didn't say anything. She didn't move her body. Her eyes never moved away from the their position on the ceiling.

"Riley!" Tyler yelled as she felt her terror sinking in.

"Tyler...It...it hurts...so...much..." the brunette whispered breathlessly.

Tyler took her love's hands into her own and held them tightly. She didn't even realize that the blood that covered Riley's hands was getting on her own.

"Riley, I'm here. Everything is going to be alright. I need you to hang on for me."

"This...was not...supposed...to happen."

"Baby, don't talk. You need to breath slow and steady. You have to stay with me, okay?"

"Baby...I'm so...so...sorry. It hurts...too much...We were...meant...to have...forever...I...love...you...so ...much..." Riley said through her pain.

Riley's eyes locked on the ceiling once again. Her arms seemed to weigh five hundred pounds and the grip that she has on Tyler's hands disappeared.

"Riley? Riley! Baby, look at me!" the blonde pleaded with her cowboy. "Help! Someone help us please!" she yelled desperately. "Riley, baby, I need you to look at me, okay?"

Alex burst through the bathroom door and was soon followed by Elliot, Olivia, Munch, Fin, and Cragen. Munch pulled out his cell phone and called 9-1-1 while the others could only stand there and watch the scene before them.

Tyler was knelt on the floor in a puddle of blood. She gripped tightly onto Riley's hands but the grip wasn't returned. The jade green eyes were locked on the blank face of her cowboy. Riley lay in the floor in a pool of her own blood. Her lips and her face were a pale white as she had lost so much blood. There was a crimson trail down her chin and coming out of both of her nostrils. Just by looking at her, the detectives could tell that Riley had been beaten. Her jaw was swollen and more than likely broken as was her nose. There was a deep gash in her forehead above her right eyebrow where they assumed her head was bashed against the mirror.

"Baby, please look at me. I need you to stay with me, okay?"

"It...hurts so...much..." Riley finally said.

"I know it hurts but there is an ambulance on the way. Everything is going to be alright. You are going to be alright. You have to be alright. We're supposed to get married and live happily ever after, remember?" Tyler said through her tears.

"Please...don't cry...angel."

Casey and Warner had joined the detectives as Tyler pleaded with Riley to hold on. Warner pushed through the crowd of detectives and knelt down to assist in Riley's medical needs, though choosing one spot to apply pressure was a very difficult task. Riley had been beaten and she had been stabbed twelve times.

"Riley, please hold on. I need you to stay with me, baby. I love you so much. You cannot leave me." Tyler pleaded.

"Tyler, I need you to hold pressure here." Warner ordered as she placed one of Tyler's hand on a puncture site.

The applied pressure caused Riley to wince in pain. Warner used her body weight to hold pressure on a wound close to her heart. When she did this, Riley let out a blood curling scream. Casey, Olivia, Alex, Elliot, and Cragen all watched in horror and in agony as Tyler watched the love of her life slowly slip away. Everyone, including Warner and Riley were crying.

"Riley, I need you. I love you to infinity and beyond, remember? I love you more than anything in the world. Please don't leave me."

"I'm...so...sorry...I...love...you" Riley whispered.

"Riley? Riley, look at me!" Warner said in a panic.

"Riley!" Casey yelled.

"Baby? Baby, look at me! Riley, say something!" Tyler yelled. "Riley! Don't you leave me! Baby, please!" Tyler pleaded desperately as tears flooded her cheeks and fell onto the limp body beneath her. "Please...come back." she whispered and then collapsed on top of her love and cried harder than she had ever cried in her life.


	20. The Funeral

_**Okay, patient readers...I understand that you are probably hating me right about now as Riley has met her doom. But, I really need you to hang on and keep with me. I assure you things are about to get very interesting for the Benson family and for the 1-6 family. Keep reading and please, please, please review.**_

Once again Olivia, Casey, Tyler, Elliot, Munch, Fin, the Captain, Warner, and now Alex found themselves facing reality though this reality was much different from accepting that prom was over and graduation was right around the corner. This particular reality was much darker and hit a level of pain that none of them had ever really faced before. Casey and Alex had lost cases which had brought them down in the past. Olivia, Elliot, Munch, Fin, and the Captain had all lost victims and had been hearing heart wrenching and earth shattering gruesome tales told to them by their victims but nothing had ever hit them this hard. Warner had see things that would turn anyone's stomach and even kept her up at night but nothing at this magnitude. And, Tyler, had been faced with the possibility that she had lost Riley once which nearly killed her. Now she is faced with the reality that the love of her life, her cowboy, her soul mate, and her future had been taken from her. The fact was, Riley was gone.

Three days. It had been three days since Riley sang to Tyler and then got down on one knee and asked her to marry her. It had been three days since Tyler Benson and Riley Westbrook had graduated high school and received their diplomas. It had been three days since Tyler found Riley lying in the bathroom floor beaten, broken, and drenched in her own blood. It had been three days since Riley Alexandria Westbrook had taken her very last breath. It had been three days since anyone in the family had really eaten or gotten any sleep at all. Tyler had barricaded herself in her bedroom and she did not come out except to use the bathroom. She slept and she cried and she cried herself to sleep. She refused to let anyone in her bedroom and she locked the bathroom door when she was in there.

 _"You left me. You left me here, alone, in a world that you are no longer in. There aren't even words to describe this feeling. The best ones that come to mind are alone, tormented, tortured, agony...I want to call you and just listen to the sound of your voice. I keep dreaming about you but when I wake up you aren't here and I break all over again. Me, mom, and momma cleaned out your house and that was a whole different level of painful.. Your clothes and your bed and your couch smelled like you. Momma sat in the floor and cried for a good thirty minutes I found all of your binders that had the things that you have written in them.. We all knew that you could be a deep and intense person but I had no idea that you could be that deep and intense. Everyone misses you. I miss you...so fucking much." Tyler wrote on a piece of paper as she sat at her desk. "No matter how hard I try, I can't make myself stay asleep. I wake up with a tear soaked pillow and swollen eyes because even my subconscious is broken by the reality that you are actually gone. So, here I am, sitting alone in my room listening to the song that you sang when you proposed and I'm writing a letter to the only person that I have ever truly loved only to know in the back of my mind that it will never be read by you. I could probably sit here and write you more letters than I already have but what exactly is the point in that? What good will it do to write to you or to listen to songs that perfectly describe you or us when the truth of the matter is that you're gone and I'll never be able to tell you any of these things? But, on the other hand, how can I just accept this and let it go? The pain is too deep. The reality is too harsh. My love for you is too pure. The healthy thing to do would be to move on but I just can't make myself do that." Tyler allowed the tears to fall from her eyes as she had come to learn that there was no use in fighting them anymore. "Riley Alexandria Westbrook, I have loved you sever since I first saw you get off of your motorcycle in the parking lot at the diner. You looked into my eyes and you took hold of my heart in that very second. There will never be any other person that will be able to have my heart because my reality is that it will always belong to you."_

She folded up the piece of paper that she had been writing on and stuck it in an envelope and then sealed it. She pulled out a box that was filled with pictures and little trinkets and several more envelopes. This box was only cardboard but this was her Riley box. It was her box of memories. It contained both her happy and her sad memories of the girl that she was in love with.

 _ **The Funeral Home; May 17, 2008**_

Everyone stood around talking to people that had come to pay their respects to Riley and to share the memories that they had of her. April and Remmie stuck very close to Tyler as they feared that her mental breakdown was not very far away. Everyone was dressed in black or dark clothing as the tradition held for funeral attire. The room was dimly lit by only lights on the side walls and lights shining down onto the casket and the memories around the box. Olivia and Casey decided that the casket should remain closed as Riley had been beaten so badly. Her jaw was broken, her nose was broken, she was covered in cuts and gashes from the glass of the mirror, both of hands had fractures and broken bones, she had 7 cracked ribs, and she was in no way in any resemblance to the Riley that they all knew and loved

Riley's casket was painted metallic black and "Cowboy" was engraved into the side facing the pews with the engraved letters painted white. At the head of the casket was an enlarged photograph of Riley that Casey had taken. She was smiling and her eyes were glistening in the sunlight and she was happy. At the foot of the casket was an enlarged photograph of Riley and Tyler before prom. They were both smiling and they were both glowing and they were both happy. A collage had been made by April and Remmie that had pictures of them with Riley before the championship softball game, Tyler and Riley staring into one another's eyes with the rest of the world nothing but a distant memory to the both of them, Casey and Olivia and Riley having coffee together at the coffee shop by the precinct, Riley sitting on the front porch of the Benson household with one propped on a step and the other foot on the step below it with a serious look of deep thought on her face, Riley sitting on her motorcycle and Casey begging her for a ride down the street, Riley and Tyler and April and Remmie in their softball jerseys sitting in the dugout after a game, and lots more. Her motorcycle helmet was placed on top of her casket near the head along with her guitar which was in a holder and was facing towards the pews. There were flowers and wreaths and potted plants that people had sent to them. Soft notes with no lyrics could be heard in the air and a slideshow of Riley's time with the family was playing on a screen in the corner of the room.

Everyone started taking their seats in the pews. Remmie sat on one of Tyler and April sat on the other, each of them holding one of her hands. Elliot and his wife, Kathy, sat next to Olivia. Olivia sat between Elliot and Casey, who seemed to be taking Riley's death very hard. She had been crying ever since the entire thing happened and even went as far as calling out for the younger girl in her sleep. Fin and Munch sat on either side of Warner who felt very guilty that she could not do more for Riley when they found her in her beaten state. The Captain sat on the other side of Casey and held her hand. Alex sat amongst the team but as she did not know Riley as well as she wanted to, she could still feel the weight of the loss of her daughter. Everyone in the 1-6 was very protective of their team but they were more like a family. It would not be going too far to say that every single one of them felt as though they had lost a member of their family when Riley's life ended.

Just as the last few people were taking their seats, "If I Die Young" by The Band Perry started playing over the speakers.

 _"A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar_

 _They're worth so much more after I'm a goner_

 _And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'_

 _Funny when you're dead how people start listening._

 _If I die young, bury me in satin_

 _Lay me down on a bed of roses_

 _Sink me in the river at dawn_

 _Send me away with the words of a love song."_

Just as that song ended, there was a few seconds of silence and "I'll Stand By You" by The Pretenders began to play.

 _"And when..._

 _When the night falls on you, baby_

 _You're feeling all alone_

 _You won't be on your own_

 _I'll stand by you._

 _I'll stand by you._

 _Won't let nobody hurt you..."_

Tyler could not stop the tears that escaped her eyes and fell slowly down her cheeks. She remembered how protective Riley was of her even when she didn't realize that she was being protective. When they went to the store and they would walk to the door, Riley would always walk on the side closest to traffic and Tyler would walk closer to the parked cars so that she was way less likely to be struck. It was the little things that Tyler noticed about Riley that made her love her cowboy that much more.

 _"If I never knew you,_

 _if I never felt this love,_

 _I would have no inkling of_

 _how precious life can be."_ Tyler listened and she could already feel that this would be the song that would break down any and all resistance she had left within herself.

 _"And if I never held you_

 _I would never have a clue_

 _How at last I'd find in you_

 _The missing part of me."_ Tyler thought about the time that Riley told her that she didn't even realize that there was a part of her missing until she had met the blonde and then she was complete because she completed her.

 _"In this world so full of fear_

 _Full of rage and lies_

 _I can see the truth so clear_

 _In your eyes_

 _So dry your eyes._

 _And I'm so grateful to you._

 _I'd have lived my whole life through_

 _Lost forever_

 _If I never knew you."_ The young blonde covered her tear soaked face with her hands as she listened to the words that seemed to be stabbing her in her heart.

 _"If I never knew you_

 _I'd be safe but half as real_

 _Never knowing I could feel_

 _A love so strong and true._

 _I'm so grateful to you_

 _I'd have lived my whole life through_

 _Lost forever_

 _If I never knew you._

 _I thought our love would be so beautiful,_

 _Somehow we'd make the whole world bright._

 _I never knew that fear and hate could be so strong_

 _all they'd leave us were these whispers in the night_

 _But still my heart is saying we were right."_ Tyler repeated the words _'we were right'_ in a not loud enough to be heard whisper.

 _Oh, if I never knew you_

 _There's no moment I regret"_ 'no moment I regret' Tyler whispered along with the song.

 _"If I never felt this love_

 _Since the moment that we met" 'Since the moment that we met'_ she continued to sing along where no one else could hear her.

 _"I would have no inkling of_

 _If our time has gone too fast" 'Our time has gone too fast'_

 _How precious life can be_

 _I've lived at last..._

 _I thought our love would be so beautiful_

 _Somehow we'd make the whole world bright_

 _I thought our love would be so beautiful_

 _We'd turn the darkness into light_

 _And still my heart is saying we were right_

 _we were right_

 _And if I never knew you_

 _If I never knew you_

 _I'd have lived my whole life through_

 _Empty as the sky_

 _Never knowing why_

 _Lost forever_

 _If I never knew you..."_

The song ended and Tyler had taken in every single word of it. Until that very moment she had never felt a song word for word. She thought about how different her life would be if she had never met Riley, if she had never seen the brunette dismount her motorcycle in the parking lot, if she had never shown her around school, if she had never gone to hear her sing and play guitar, if she had never fallen in love with her. Nothing in her life would be the same if she had never met Riley Westbrook. She knew that true love was real because of Riley. She knew that she had found true love within Riley Westbrook. She knew that she was made to love Riley Westbrook. She knew that Riley Westbrook was put on this world to love her. She felt love in the deepest, darkest, most deserted places within her heart and soul because of Riley Westbrook. And now, in this very second, she knew the most devastating agonizing heartbreak that she had ever and would ever feel in her lifetime.

 _"Is it over yet?_

 _Can I open my eyes?_

 _Is this as hard as it gets?_

 _Is this what it feels like to really cry?_

 _Cry_

 _I'm talking in circles_

 _I'm lying, they know it_

 _Why won't this all just go away?"_ and with those lyrics, Tyler lost every bit of her composure.

 _"The loss of a life so young is considered unfair but as it was sang, only the good die young. I did not personally know Riley on the level that most of you did but after the stories that I've heard and the memories that were shared with me today, Riley seems like a person that was beautiful on the outside and the inside."_ the owner of the funeral home said and then motioned to Casey who made her way up to the podium.

 _"Riley Alexandria Westbrook was one of the most remarkable people that I have ever had the honor and privilege of knowing. She was kind and generous and loving and compassionate. Sure she constantly popped her knuckles and played with her lip ring. She could not sit still for longer than twenty seconds and chewed on her lip without thinking about what she was doing. If you didn't pay close attention to her when she was speaking you would miss her words because she spoke so quickly. She spit like she had a dip in her lip and she bit her fingernails. But Riley had this ability to make the world stand still. She had an innocence about her that was entertaining as she was just a kid at heart. Riley was one of the rare people in this world that would give anyone anything if they were in need. She was a fighter, a survivor, a warrior, a cowboy, a daughter, a niece, a friend, and a soul mate. She had piercings and tattoos, she was corky and feisty, she was a writer and a closet musician."_ her voice began to break and she wiped a tear from her right cheek. _"Words cannot express the pain that I feel right now. I haven't really been able to wrap my mind around the fact that I won't hear her tapping her fingers on my kitchen table or laugh or even speak again..."_ she took a step back from the microphone to compose herself. _"Riley Westbrook, we are all going to miss you so very much. It isn't fair that you were taken when you had so much left to do and say. Maybe someday we will understand why you had to leave us. We love you, Riley."_

 _"And I've dropped out, I've burned out, I've fought my way back from the dead._

 _I've tuned in, turned on, remembered the things that you said._

 _I'll be your crying shoulder,_

 _I'll be love's suicide,_

 _I'll be better when I'm older,_

 _I'll be the greatest fan of your life..." the song played and the family remembered Riley singing it sitting in the middle of the living room accompanied by her guitar and seeing the look of love shared between her and Tyler._

 _"There are so many things that we could stand here and say about Riley but all of them combined could make you understand who she was. We could tell you that she walked in the school and made every single girl fall in love with her. We could tell you that, even with everyone else staring at her, she could only see Tyler. Riley was compassionate, protective, and one of the funniest people I have ever met in my life. She loved to play softball and she liked to sing and play guitar, she liked to ride her motorcycle, and she loved Tyler Jane Benson more than I ever though one human being could love another. We have watched her talk about one hundred different subjects at five hundred miles per hour in ten minutes flat. But, then there were times when she was very quiet or even silent. You could never tell what was going on in that girl's mind unless you are Tyler. I remember the determination on her face and the passion in her eyes when she would go completely silent. She was a deep thinker, a dreamer, a believer, a fighter, a protector, a player, a teammate, a friend, and the most amazing person I have ever known."_ April and Remmie took turns talking.

 _"In the arms of the angel_

 _fly away from here_

 _from this dark cold hotel room_

 _and the endlessness that you fear_

 _you are pulled from the wreckage_

 _of your silent reverie_

 _you're in the arms of the angel_

 _may you find some comfort here_

 _you're in the arms of the angel_

 _may you find some comfort here..."_ the next song played bringing tears to every single eye in the room.

Everyone watched in concern and with aching hearts as Tyler made her way to the podium. When she had told her moms that she wanted to speak at the service they were both surprised and conflicted. After much debating, they decided that maybe this was exactly what their daughter needed to ease some of her pain and to even heal if only the tiniest amount.

Tyler was mentally reminding herself that she had to breathe as she walked. It was not only her fear of public speaking that had her in the center of a mental hurricane but also the topic of the conversation. She reached the wooden podium and it was only when she turned to face the people in the room that she took her bloodshot eyes off of the casket that held Riley's body. She looked at every face in the room and then she took in a deep breath and released it slowly.

 _"Just fair warning, I really suck at talking in front of people but I will do my best so please bare with me. I don't really know where to start because there is so much to say about Riley. She had the sexiest smirk that hung in the left corner of her lips when she was up to no good and a laugh that could make anyone's day brighter. She had facial expressions that told you exactly how she was feeling especially when something surprised her or caught her off guard. She was the most random person that has ever walked this earth. If she ever got an idea that formed into a plan, you could bet your ass that she was going to get it done one way or another. Riley had a whole list of little catch phrase or just everyday sayings that everyone associated with her. 'I'm sure there's a compliment in there somewhere.', 'no means no', 'ain't nobody got time for that'...these were all things that other people have said but they were things that she said at least twenty times every day. She bounced her knee when she was sitting still, she stuttered when she was nervous, she was so easily distracted, she talked in her sleep, she was musically gifted, and she made this world worth being in."_ Tyler stopped and smiled at the memories running through her mind as she spoke. _"Riley had a past that most people could never even conjure up their worst nightmares about. The darkness that lurked within her was terrifying and horrifying but it made her the protective and strong and caring person that she was. I know that she could be evil if she needed to be but she wouldn't except under extreme circumstances. She had the unfaltering ability to look past the faults and the mistakes of others and she found it in herself to love them anyway."_ she looked directly at Alex as she spoke the last sentence _. "Ever since she and I got close, I would always see Riley writing on napkins or I could see the piles of paper all over the tables in her house. I never actually sat down and read the things that she wrote on these pieces of paper until two days ago, my and my parents went to Riley's house so that we could start getting her things in order and I found several binders filled with paper in different places in her house. I gathered up every binder that I could find and I took them home. I'm still in the process of reading everything in them but I can tell you that Riley Westbrook was a much deeper and a much more intense person than any of us knew. I wrote down some of the things that she had put in her collection to share with you today."_ she took out three folded up pieces of paper from her back pocket and laid them flat on the podium. _"Study me as much as you like, you will never know me. For I differ in a hundred different ways from what you see me to be. Put yourself behind my eyes and see me as I see myself. I have chosen to dwell in a place you can't see. That was written by Rumi."_ she paused and shook her head as she thought about the truth in what she just read in regards to the girl that she loved. _"I'm in love with the impossible, the invisible, the unfathomable. I stare in awe at the possibilities of time, as if someone had done something differently and it changed the whole world. I dive into the realm of questions unanswered. I wonder if anyone else is drowning. I am in the middle of it. One of many tiny boats on this vast sea of hope. I dream of people that I have never met and of experiencing what no one else has ever made me feel. I'm in love with the dreams of the less courageous and the regrets of the shy. They will never be anything other than an idea. At night, I clutch my pillow like an anchor and I swim with all the loves that never were, with words never said and smiles never given. That was written by S. L. Heart."_ a tear escaped her eye as she finished. _"She had a binder that was filled with nothing but song lyrics. There were songs that had been written and performed by other people. There were songs that were fun and then there were songs that were sad. There were songs that Riley had written and then there were songs that Riley started but never finished. Some of these songs were: And I Love Her by Passenger, Black Dahlia by Hollywood Undead, Don't Stop Believing by Journey, Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd, and Johnny B. Goode by Chuck Berry. Not one of her songs that she had written or was in the process of writing had a title but I can tell you that some of them touched my heart while others broke it. The same went for the poetry that she had gotten from other writers and some that she herself had written throughout her life. I am honored to say that I believe that some of her poetry and some of her songs were about me or us."_ Tyler cleared her throat and stepped away from the microphone for a moment _. "Riley and I...we fought but not very often. We were jealous and possessive and we pushed each other's buttons and we pushed each other past our limits. We loved each other. We were both prepared to fight for each other even if that meant fighting with each other. She was worth fighting for and fighting with. She did so much for me and half the time I didn't even ask her. She was perfect even though she insisted on arguing with me about that. She could go from happy to pissed the hell off in less than two seconds and I was the only person that could calm her down. She was mine and I was hers. On the rare occasion that we weren't together in the mornings, she would call me and wake me. I swear on everything there was nothing better than waking up to the sound of her voice or laying next to her or feeling her arms around me. She was the one that saved me from the evil creatures known as spiders. We did this thing where we would text each other song lyrics and she had no idea just how much that meant to me. She would tell me that she loved me, I would ask her if she meant forever just by using that one word, and her reply was the same every time: she would say "and always". I literally had to beg her to sleep some nights. She didn't sleep like she should. On the nights that she did sleep and we were together, she would go to sleep with her arms around me and in her sleep she would pull me closer. She was strong for me when I couldn't be strong for myself. I love her more than she really knew. Right before we left to go to graduation, Riley sang me a song and she proposed to me. She and I were planning on spending forever together but our forever got cut short. No one is going to miss her as much as I do. She took hold of my heart when she walked in that school and shook my hand. Every moment since then she has had my heart. It will never belong to any other person. She was my someone. She was my only one. She will always be my only one."_ her tears began to fall much faster now. _"Riley, I love you to infinity and beyond, to the moon and back, more, most, forever and always. You will always be my someone; my only one. You will always be my cowboy."_ she walked to the casket and laid her hand on the top as the tears flooded her cheeks and fell to the floor.

 _ **Bell Cemetery; May 17, 2008**_

Everyone stood in the graveyard and looked upon the box holding the body of Riley for the final moments before they lowered her into the ground. There was not one person that was not crying. The Captain, Fin, Munch, Elliot, and Warner we're all trying to convince Tyler, Olivia, Casey, and Alex that it was time for them to leave but none of them could be convinced. The four of them looked upon the box with agony in their hearts.

"Liv, it's time to go." Cragen whispered to the woman that had come to feel like his daughter.

"I can't leave her. She needs me." Olivia answered.

That's when it hit Cragen: Olivia had not accepted the reality that Riley was dead.

Casey and Alex looked down at the black box with empty expressions on their faces. The pain that they felt was immeasurable.

Tyler looked down at her phone and then a smile crept onto her lips. She unlocked the phone and went into her music file. She selected a song and laid her phone down on the top of the casket as the song played.

"'Til the moment I found you,

I thought I knew what love was.

Now I'm learning what is true,

That love will do what it does.

The world finds ways to sting you

and then one decides to bring you

something to believe in

for even a night.

One night may be forever,

but that's alright, that's alright.

And if you're gone tomorrow,

what was ours still will be.

I have something to believe in,

Now that I know you believed in me." a woman's voice sounded through her phone.

"We was never meant to meet,

and then we meet, who knows why.

One more stranger on the street;

just someone sweet passin' by.

And angel come to save me,

who didn't even know she gave me

something to believe in

for even a day.

One day may be forever,

but that's okay, that's okay.

And if I'm gone tomorrow,

what was ours still will be.

I have something to believe in,

now that I know you believed in me." a man's voice sang through the speaker.

"Do you know what I believe in?

Look into my eyes and see." the two voices sang together.

"And if I'm gone tomorrow..." the man sang.

"What was ours still will be..." the woman sang.

"I have something to believe in,

now that I know you believed in me." they sang together.

"I have something to believe in..." the man sang alone.

"Now that I know you believed in me." the man and the woman ended the song together.

Tyler smiled and picked her phone up. She slid the phone back into her pocket and looked up at the man that had been her grandfather her entire life.

"Captain..." she said softly.

"Yes, ma'am?" he asked curiously.

"I need a favor from you and uncle El, and a few others from the 1-6."

"What favor is that?"

"I need letters of recommendation from everyone so that I can go to the academy. I want to get in as soon as possible. See, I am going to find the mother fuckers that took my cowboy away from me and I am going to watch as they are taken away in handcuffs to serve out their sentences. This is something that I want and need to do." Tyler answered with her fists clenched and determination in her eyes.


	21. Five Years Later

_"A hundred days have made me older_

 _since the last time I saw your pretty face._

 _A thousand lies have made me colder_

 _and I don't think I can look at this the same._

 _All the miles that separate_

 _disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face._

 _I'm here without you, baby_

 _bout you're still on my lonely mind._

 _I think about you, baby, and I dream about you all the time._

 _I'm here without you, baby_

 _but you're still with me in my dreams_

 _and tonight, girl, it's only you and me._

 _The miles just keep rolling_

 _as the people leave their way to say hello._

 _I've heard this life is overrated_

 _but I hope that it gets better as we go._

 _I'm here without you, baby_

 _bout you're still on my lonely mind._

 _I think about you, baby, and I dream about you all the time._

 _I'm here without you, baby_

 _but you're still with me in my dreams_

 _and tonight, girl, it's only you and me._

 _Everything I know and anywhere I go_

 _it gets hard but it won't take away my love._

 _And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done_

 _It gets hard but it won't take away my love._

 _I'm here without you, baby_

 _bout you're still on my lonely mind._

 _I think about you, baby, and I dream about you all the time._

 _I'm here without you, baby_

 _but you're still with me in my dreams." Blink 182 played into the warm empty air._

 _"I wake in the morning_

 _tired of sleeping._

 _Get in the shower_

 _and make my bed alone._

 _I put on my make up_

 _talking to the mirror._

 _Ready for a new day_

 _without you._

 _And I walk steady on my feet._

 _I talk, my voice obeys me._

 _I go out at night,_

 _sleep without the lights,_

 _and I do all of the things_

 _I have to keeping you off my mind._

 _But when I think I'll be alright_

 _I am always wrong 'cause_

 _My hands_

 _don't wanna start again._

 _My hands_

 _no they don't wanna understand._

 _They just shake and try to break_

 _whatever peace I may find._

 _My hands_

 _they only agree to hold_

 _your hands._

 _And they don't wanna be without_

 _your hands._

 _And they will not let me go._

 _No, they will not let me go._

 _I talk about you now_

 _and go a day without crying._

 _I go out with my friends now._

 _I stay at home all alone._

 _I don't see you everywhere._

 _I can say your name easily._

 _I laugh a bit louder_

 _without you._

 _And I see different shades now_

 _and I'm almost never afraid now._

 _But when I think I'll be okay_

 _I am always wrong now._

 _My hands_

 _don't wanna start again._

 _My hands_

 _no they don't wanna understand._

 _My hands_

 _they just shake and try to break_

 _whatever peace I may find._

 _My hands_

 _they only agree to hold_

 _your hands._

 _And they don't wanna be without_

 _your hands._

 _And they will not let me go._

 _No, they will not let me go._

 _Sometimes I wake and see them reaching out for you_

 _quietly breaking whatever shields_

 _I spent so long building up._

 _I cannot fake, 'cause when they cry I'm unspoken_

 _They miss holding my baby._

 _My hands_

 _no, they don't wanna understand._

 _They just shake and try to break_

 _whatever peace I may find._

 _My hands_

 _they don't want to be without_

 _your hands._

 _They will not let me go._

 _No, they will not let me go._

 _My hands..._

 _Your hands..._

 _They don't want to be without_

 _your hands._

 _They will not let me go._

 _No, they will not let me go._

 _My hands_

 _they don't wanna start again._

 _My hands_

 _no, they don't wanna understand._

 _My hands_

 _they just shake and try to break_

 _whatever peace I may find._

 _My hands_

 _they only agree to hold_

 _your hands._

 _And they don't wanna be without_

 _your hands._

 _And they will not let me go._

 _No, they will not let me go._

 _No, they will not let me go." Leona Lewis sang out into the air as soon as the previous song had ended._

 _"If it's okay,_

 _I'll leave the bed light on_

 _and place your water glass where it belongs._

 _And if it's alright,_

 _I'll lie awake at night_

 _pretending I'm curled up at your side._

 _See, I'm circling these patterns;_

 _living out of memories._

 _I'm still a long way from accepting it;_

 _that there's just no you and me._

 _But, if I still believe you love me_

 _maybe I'll survive._

 _So, I tell myself you're coming home_

 _like you've done a million times._

 _And if it's alright_

 _I'll still be loving you_

 _'cause I can't break it to my heart._

 _Is it just me?_

 _Did I commit a crime?_

 _I won't believe that loving you_

 _is just a waste of time._

 _Or was it in my head?_

 _I'm reading into things that you never said._

 _'Cause I still don't have the answers_

 _to why we couldn't work it out._

 _I wanna think it's something that I did_

 _so I can turn it back around._

 _But if I still believe you love me_

 _maybe I'll survive._

 _So, I tell myself you're coming home_

 _like you've done a million times before._

 _And, if it's alright_

 _I'll still be loving you_

 _'cause I can't break it to my heart._

 _And nothing will come between us._

 _I wanna convince myself we're perfect in_

 _every single way as long as I can keep_

 _the truth away from my heart._

 _Oh, 'cause I can't break it to my heart._

 _'Cause I still don't have all the answers_

 _to why we couldn't work it out._

 _I wanna think it's something that I did_

 _so I can turn it back around._

 _But, if I still believe you love me_

 _maybe I'll survive._

 _So, I tell myself you're coming home_

 _like you've done a million times._

 _And, if it's alright_

 _I'll still be loving you_

 _'cause I can't break it to my heart." Delta Goodrem sang the final song._

Tyler Jane Benson sat on the hood of her black Challenger in Bell Cemetery as she did every year. It was May 17, 2013 and it was the five year mark of losing the only girl she had ever truly loved in her twenty three years on this planet. So many things had changed over the past five years. Tyler was now a detective that worked for the Special Victims Until along with her mom, her three uncles, the Captain, and Warner. She dedicated her life and her time to her career. Of course her family was extremely protective of her but that didn't stop Tyler from being the best detective that she could be. She was patient and caring and understanding when it came to the victims but when it came to the monsters she was heartless and determined and demanding. If no one else could get a confession, Tyler could. If no one else could get a victim to talk, Tyler could. Her mom and her momma worried constantly because she would take every case assigned to her straight to heart. The victims were her family and her friends and they were personal to her even if she had never met them before in her life.

Tyler went home to an empty apartment every night that she actually went home. It was very common for someone to find her sleeping in the pen or even passed out at her desk. She did not like to live alone but there was really no one that she trusted to live with her. Once or twice a week she would go to her parents house for dinner or meet them for lunch just so they could see that she was still living in a world that was somewhat realistic.

 _"It's so hard to believe that it's been five years. It's still so hard to believe that you are really gone. I probably seem like a crazy person because I come here and talk to you more than I talk to my parents. I don't always have to come here to talk to you...I go to the lake and I go to the softball field. This is the last place I should be right now. I just got this case where a seventeen year old girl was involved in a sex trafficking ring that eventually sucked her in. She escaped but they found her and nearly beat her to death. She reminds me so much of you...not just because of what she has gone through but because she is a lot like you. She has dark brown hair and brown eyes. When I first saw her I thought I saw...but then I remembered."_ Tyler spoke to the headstone she sat on the ground in front of. _"I miss you so much. Momma says that holding on like this is unhealthy but I can't let you go. Riley, I cannot let you go. You had and still have such a huge piece of me. I haven't even attempted to be with anyone else because I know that they will never be you. No one will ever come close to being like you. I still love you so damn much."_ she wiped the tears from her face. " _Well, I guess I should get back to the precinct since my lunch is almost over."_ she reached out and traced the letters on the headstone. _"I love you, Cowboy...forever and always."_

 _ **June 17, 2013**_

 _"Tyler, it's not healthy! You aren't healthy! There comes a time when you have to let go!"_ Olivia yelled over the kitchen table.

 _"I am healthy!"_ Tyler yelled back.

 _"When was the last time you went home and slept in your own bed? When was the last time you bathed in your own shower? When was the last time you didn't go to the lake or to the field?"_

 _"I miss her, mom! I miss her so damn much! I am not crazy, okay? I thought I saw her today. It was a split second thought. I know that it wasn't her. I know that she is gone! I have to live with the fact that she is gone every single day! I am supposed to be coming home to her every night but instead my house is empty! I am supposed to be able to call her and text her and hug her and kiss her but she is fucking gone and I can't do any of those things! I talk to her! I talk to her because I could always talk to her about any and everything!"_

 _"Tyler, Riley Westbrook is dead. I'm sorry but she is gone. You have got to accept that!"_

Tyler pushed her chair back from the table and grabbed her keys from the bar in the kitchen.

 _"Tyler, don't leave!"_ Casey yelled but then heard the door slam.

 _"Do you have to do that to her? Do you have to yell at her like she is a child?"_ she asked her wife.

 _"Casey, she has not accepted the fact that Riley is dead. It was hard for all of us but everyone moved on with their lives."_ Olivia answered.

 _"Not everyone was planning on spending the rest of their life with Riley! Tyler was in love with her, Olivia! She is still in love with her! Imagine that you lost me..."_ Olivia dropped her head. _"you would be in the same exact place Tyler is in now and you know it."_ Casey said and then disappeared up the stairs.

 _ **July 17, 2013**_

 _"We closed the case with the seventeen year old girl that was involved with the trafficking today. She looked so relieved to say the least. I remember seeing that look on your face one time and that was the day that you proposed to me and I said 'yes'. I still can't wrap my mind around why you seemed so scared. There was no way that you could have been afraid that I would have said no. You knew how in love with you I was and how in love with you I still am. Uncle Elliot told me that there is always one person in everyone's life that they will love until the day that they die. And then he told me that just because that person cannot return the love doesn't mean you can keep hoping for something that will never happen. I guess that was his way of telling me that I need to move on. God knows my mother tells me that all the time but now to hear it from him...Why can't they just leave me alone? They all know that I still love you and that I can't move on. I don't know how to let you go. I can't let you go..."_

 _ **August 17, 2013; 2:15 pm**_

"I'm looking for a detective Olivia Benson..." a female voice said to the man sitting at a desk in the precinct of the Special Victims Unit.

"She is not in right now." the man sitting at the desk answered without looking up from the paperwork laid out on his desk.

"Do you know when she will be back?"

"No, ma'am."

"Alright...thank you."

 _ **August 18, 2013; 12:32 pm**_

"Hello, I'm looking for Casey Benson..." a female voice said to the young secretary sitting at a small desk in the Assistant District Attorney's office.

"Mrs. Benson is in a meeting right now at the SVU precinct." the secretary answered.

The young woman turned on her heel and walked down the hall to the elevator. She was determined to see either Olivia or Casey Benson today and she would not be leaving until she did so.

 _ **August 18, 2013; 5:58 pm**_

"Liv, there is a girl here to see you. She won't talk to anyone but you." Cragen said as Olivia and Elliot walked back into the precinct.

"Who is she?" Olivia asked.

"I'm not sure. She won't tell anyone who she is or why she's here. All she does is ask for you."

Olivia shared a concerned look with her partner and then went out into the hallway to meet with the girl.

"Hi, I'm detective Olivia Benson." she said as she extended her hand to the younger girl.

"Detective Benson, you are a hard woman to locate and an even harder woman to catch." the young girl said without accepting the offered hand.

"How can I help you?" the confused detective asked.

"My name is Dahlia and I am here on behalf of a friend of mine. She asked that I give you this and that I say no more." Dahlia said as she took a small envelope from her jacket pocket and then she turned to leave.

"Wait...who is your friend?" Olivia called.

"Everything you will need is in that envelope." Dahlia answered and then disappeared into the elevator.

Olivia took the envelope and sat it on her desk. Written on the front was:

"Olivia Benson

Special Victims Unit".

Olivia stared at the white envelope for a long a while before she decided to open it. She picked it up from her desk and ran her finger under the fold. The paper ripped and she reached inside putting her fingers on a folded pieced of notebook paper. She gripped the paper with her fingertips and went to pull it out but a crash caught her attention. She dropped it back onto her desk when she saw Tyler and her partner, Zade, having trouble getting a man into a cell. The crash that she heard was the sound of her daughter being thrown into a wall and knocking a bulletin board as she hit. She watched as Tyler shook her head and then ran towards the man and tackling him into the cell. She punched him in the face three times before Zade and Fin could pull her off of the man. They pulled her into the closest interview room and slammed the door behind them.

"What in the hell are you doing?" Fin yelled.

"He knocked me into a damn wall! What in the hell am I supposed to do?" Tyler yelled back.

Olivia was about to burst into the room but was stopped by someone grabbing her arm. She turned, angrily, to confront the person that the hand belonged to but the anger faded when she saw a very worried Casey looking back at her.

Casey's face was very pale, much paler than usual, and she looked terrified.

"Case, baby, what's wrong?" a very concerned Olivia asked.

Casey didn't say anything in response. She stared at her wife as her jade green eyes filled with tears. She was holding a white envelope in her hand and handed it to her wife. Olivia reached in the envelope and pulled out a single piece of notebook paper that was folded in half.

"Casey,

I'm so sorry for all of the discreetness in order to deliver this letter to you. I have to be careful when it comes to being out in public so instead I sent Brandi to deliver this to you. I figure at this point you have realized that you recognize this hand writing but you are having trouble placing it. If you would be so kind, I ask that you meet me for dinner tonight at 6:00. The address is here so that you know where to go. I promise that I will answer all of your questions tonight.

Always,

C.B." the letter said.

Olivia looked up at Casey who was silently crying.

"Who is C.B?" she asked.

Casey didn't answer her wife but then Olivia remembered the envelope that was delivered to her. She walked past Casey and to her desk where she took the notebook paper out of the envelope addressed to her.

"Olivia,

I'm so sorry for all of the discreetness in order to deliver this letter to you. I have to be careful when it comes to being out in public so instead I sent Brandi to deliver this to you. Like Casey, I figure that you have also realized that you recognize this hand writing but by now Casey has placed it. I ask that you and Casey meet me for dinner tonight at the provided location at 6:00. Please keep Tyler out of this for now. I am not ready to face her.

Always,

C.B." Olivia's letter read.

Casey read the letter over Olivia's shoulder. The detective turned and looked into her wife's eyes.

"C.B..."Olivia whispered.

"Cowboy..." Casey finished.

"It's not possible..."

"We have to go and we cannot tell TJ."

 _ **1652 Main Street; 6:02 pm**_

Olivia and Casey walked into the restaurant and scanned the people for a face that they knew they would not see. They were approached by a waiter who took note of their confused expressions.

"Casey and Olivia Benson?" he asked.

"Yes..." they answered in unison.

"Right this way."

The two women followed the man into a room that was separated from the rest of the restaurant by a thick red curtain. There was only one table in the rather large room but there was no one sitting at it.

"C.B. shall be here momentarily." the man said and then walked out through the curtain.

Olivia and Casey took their seat and patiently awaited the arrival of their host. They were both nervous and they were both terrified.

"Liv, is this even real?" Casey asked.

"I don't know, honey." Olivia answered.

"It's been five years..."

"I know."

"We have to be mistaken. There is no way that C.B. is..."

"Riley Alexandria Westbrook." a female voice finished from behind the two women.

Olivia and Casey turned to see the woman that had delivered envelopes to them.

"Dahlia, right?" Olivia asked.

"Yes, ma'am. My name is Dahlia McMahon. I'm very sorry but your host is going to be a few minutes late as she had a situation to deal with." Dahlia said as she took her seat. "I understand that this must be very difficult and very confusing for the both of you but please know that it is the same for C.B. She is a very special and unique girl as I have come to know in the past few years."

"C.B...she is your girlfriend?" Casey asked.

The girl laughed. "I know enough about her to be her girlfriend but I like the d."

Casey and Olivia took in the appearance of the younger girl sitting before them. She had a full sleeve of tattoos on her right arm, her eyebrows were perfectly shaped, her skin was pale but it suited her perfectly, her little black dress hugged her hips amazingly, her bright red lips and the rest of her makeup was done flawlessly, and her hair was a brilliant black cherry color.

"Please allow me to explain..." Dahlia began. "I met C.B. five years ago in California at a tattoo shop called Painted Lady Tattoo Parlor. I worked as a secretary there booking appointments for the artists but I also got tattooed there pretty often. When she came in for her appointment I was sitting in the chair of the artist that was supposed to do her tattoo. She came in for a cover up on her forearm and I was getting blank space filled in my sleeve. She sat down to wait since Lyle was finishing up on mine and we just started talking. I sat there and talked to her the entire time she was getting her ink done. We met up for coffee the next day and then went out for drinks. I guess you could say that we had one of those instant connections. We were just destined to be friends." the younger girl explained. "It's hard to believe that we met five years ago but we have been together ever since. She is like that cousin that you grow up with and stays your best friend your whole life. We have roomed together, gotten in bar fights together, traveled together, gotten tattooed together, and up to this point we have been each other's rock. I need her and she needs me. We are there for each other. She came to trust me with her life and with that she told me everything that has happened in her past. She told me once that the ones who notice the storms in your eyes, the silence in your voice, and the heaviness in your heart are the ones you need to let in and I think that's what we did for each other. She saw the heaviness in my heart and I saw the storm in her eyes. We are best friends and it's going to be that way for a long time."

"Well, I'm glad she has someone like you. Everyone needs someone like that in their life." Casey said as she gently squeezed Olivia's arm.

"I don't mean to sound suspicious or doubtful but where is this 'C.B.' and what does she want with us?" Olivia asked, the impatience in her voice apparent.

"C.B. stands for..." Dahlia began but then stopped and her eyes darted behind the two older women.

"Cowboy." a female voice behind them finished.

Casey and Olivia slowly tuned in their seats to see the woman that the voice belonged to. Neither the Assistant District Attorney or the Special Victims Unit Senior Detective were prepared for the sight that filled their eyes.

Standing before them was a woman that stood roughly 5'7 with dark brown hair that hung out in different places from under a black beanie. She had the largest and deepest brown eyes that either of them had seen in a long time. She wore a pair of dark blue jeans with a small hole in the left knee and a pair of black on black converse on her feet that could be seen under the hem of her pants. Her shirt was a black, red, and white flannel with a Halestorm band tee-shirt underneath it. She had one small half hoop ear ring in the top of her left ear. Around her neck was a ceiling fan pull chain with a single dog tag and an anchor hanging on it.

"Riley..." Casey whispered as tears filled her green eyes.

"It's me..." Riley nearly whispered.

"This is not possible." Olivia said as she looked the girl over.

"It is possible. It really is me."

"I need some damn proof of that." Olivia said angrily.

"Liv..." Casey tried to reason with her wife.

"No, Casey. Riley died five years ago. We watched her die. We buried her. This is not Riley. Riley Alexandria Westbrook died on May 14, 2008."

"I got in a fight with Troy Avery because he attacked Remmie in the girls bathroom at school. You took me to the hospital where they stitched up my nose but I wouldn't let them do anything else. Later that night, you showed up at my house because I had my phone turned off and everyone was worried. You told me that night that you had tried to end your own life on two separate occasions." Riley said as she looked at Olivia and then shifted her eyes to Casey. "After I had the panic attack at your house and I went to the hospital, Alex showed up and pissed me off. You came running in my room and threatened to mop the floor with her hair. You said that you had done it once before and you would be happy to do it again. But, more importantly, you told her that I was a part of your family and that you loved me."

"That does not prove anything." Olivia said.

"I invited my mother to graduation because I believed that she deserved a chance to be the mother that she wanted to be to me. The first time you saw me I was on my way to work at the diner and you were in the parking lot. You came to the softball game our senior year and everyone from the precinct was there and you were all wearing our colors. Munch shot me in the heart in the attempt to save my life from Keegan when he threatened to blow my brains all over the wall in the squad room. Sittin' on the dock of the bay was the first song that you ever heard me sing. Christmas was when you both realized that I was in love with Tyler and that she was in love with me." Riley said very quickly before she took a deep breath.

"Riley..." Casey said very quietly. "It really is you."

"It really is me. Rock star. Cowboy...All me." Riley said.

Olivia stood up from her seat and walked over to the younger girl. She looked her up and down from her black beanie down to the converse on her feet and then back up to her bug brown orbs.

"Show me your arm." she said in a stern voice.

Dahlia stood up from her seat ready to jump in and defend her best friend. Riley held up her hand to let her friend know that everything was alright. The younger brunette grabbed her right sleeve and pulled it up to her elbow. There on her right forearm was a scar that had been caused by a burn; A small plus sign with an arrow on each of the ends about the size of a half dollar. She pulled her sleeve up even further and showed the detective that she had a tattoo on the inside of her bicep that was just a solid black band that wrapped completely around her arm. She pulled her right sleeve down and then she pulled up her left sleeve and held it out to the older brunette. On her left forearm were scars that were linear and in a single row stretching from the middle of her forearm up to the crease of her elbow.

"The mark of the Collins clan on my right forearm, the cover up of the four leaf clover on my right bicep, and the self-inflicted scars on my left arm...anything else you want to see, detective?" Riley asked.

Olivia studied the scars much longer than she needed to. If the truth was told, she didn't really see the scars for longer than a few seconds. She was lost in her head as her eyes lock on the lines. She was trying to wrap her mind around the fact that the woman standing in front of her truly was Riley Westbrook. She was alive. She was well. She was standing right there.

Olivia looked up and the two sets of brown eyes locked on each other. Olivia had too many thoughts racing around in her brain to form a coherent sentence so she just grabbed the younger girl and pulled her into the tightest embrace that Riley had ever been in. She wrapped her arms around Olivia and find it unsurprising when she could feel a second body embrace her. Casey and Olivia were hugging Riley and they finally accepted that she was truly there.


	22. The Explanation

After what seemed like a lifetime, Riley was released and the three of them sat down at the table. Dahlia looked at Riley who simply nodded in response.

"Reece?" Dahlia asked Riley quietly.

"Nana." Riley answered just as quietly.

The waiter approached the table with a pad and pen in his hands.

"Would you like to start the night out with drinks?" he asked.

"White wine." Casey answered.

"Crown and coke." Olivia answered.

"Strawberry Margarita..." Dahlia ordered for herself. "and Jack on the rocks for her." she ordered for Riley.

The waiter nodded and disappeared behind the curtain.

"You drink?" Casey asked Riley.

"Only occasionally. I don't make a habit of it at all." she answered.

"I do." Dahlia said quietly.

"So, what is the story between you two exactly?" Olivia asked.

Dahlia and Riley exchanged a glance and a small smirk. They turned and looked back at the older women in sync with one another.

"That is one hell of a story, detective." Dahlia said with a smile.

"Well, like she told you, we met at the tattoo place where she was working. We talked about the little things in life as that is what someone does as they are getting inked and it just kind of started this amazing friendship. We went for coffee the next morning and then we went for drinks a few times. Now, we don't go a single day without each other. If you didn't actually know us you would think that we are a couple but really she is just my best friend." Riley explained. "She has helped me through so many things in five years. On the nights when I had my phone in my hand to call Tyler she was there to stop me because she knew that I couldn't being as I was in the witness protection program. She has had my back every single day since the day we met. We mutually decided that we could not live without each other so she moved back here with me two years ago. She and I have a lot more in common than we originally thought we found out last year. See, my blood has Collins in it and her blood has McMahon...as in the McMahon cocaine family. We did some research and found out that our families have hated each other for many years. We like to think we have the Romeo and Juliet of friendships. I am the heir to one of the longest running sex trafficking families known to this area and she is literally a cocaine princess. That is, if we still associated with our families. All in all, this is one of the most hardcore bitches I have ever met in my life."

"Wait, wait, wait..." Casey began. "You were in the witness protection program?"

"Yes, I was. They are the ones that decided I had to be dead in order to be protected from Landon. They gave me a new name and a new background story and shipped me off to California where I met Dahlia. Three years later I was released from the program and we came back here." Riley answered.

"How did you survive?" Olivia asked.

"I honestly have no idea. The last thing I remember is everyone standing over me in the bathroom and seeing Tyler crying. When I woke up I was in a completely different state and some men were calling me Catherine. I was in the hospital for three months before they released me."

"You have been here for two years and no one has recognized you?" Casey asked.

"See that's the thing, we live on the outside of town because it's safer and I work at Mercy Memorial Hospital across the bridge. This place is big enough that one thousand people can look at me and not even see me."

"Does anyone know the truth about you? That you are here? That you are alive?" Olivia asked.

"My mom knows. She has become a large part of my life in the past two years, actually. We see her about four or five times a week. She is at our house right now with..." Riley trailed off.

"With what?" Olivia asked.

"No, with who?" Casey corrected seeing the look on Riley's face.

"That's not really important right now. Riley really need to talk to you about some things before this conversation ventures any further." Dahlia said.

The two older women looked at the unknown friend of Riley with confused expressions before their gazes shifted back to the younger brunette.

Riley took a deep breath and looked each one of the older women in their eyes for a few seconds.

"It has taken me two years to work up enough courage to talk to you two. Actually, it took two years and a whole hell of a lot of convincing for me to get to a position where I was willing to talk to you." Riley explained. "For the longest time I had myself convinced that I didn't deserve to come back and to talk to you again. You guys really loved me. I was a part of your family and I feel like I betrayed that when I had to fake my death. You gave me a funeral from what I understand. People spoke and said things that they felt in their hearts and I wasn't even dead." Riley wiped a tear from her right cheek. "Dahlia and her boyfriend, Lyle, convinced me that I needed to get back in touch with you. They told me that you deserved to know the truth and that you needed to hear it from me. They also have lit a fire within me again; the love that I feel for Tyler. Don't get me wrong, it never disappeared or even faded but I was more focused on missing her than I was being in love with her. It's been five years and so many things have happened and changed for me and I know that they have for her, too. I know that she is a detective with SVU. I know that she goes to the cemetery on every May 17 for the past five years. I know that she goes to the lake to lay on the hood of her car and to stare up at the stars."

"How do you know all of that?" Casey asked.

"Because every since we got back, Riley has been watching over Tyler from afar. The love that this girl feels for your daughter is so damn strong. She came back here for her even though it took us two years to admit that. When she finally did admit it, I could see a light come into her eyes that I had never seen before. I would like that light to get a lot brighter. I would like her soul to catch fire and to rage on uncontrollably with the love that she feels in her heart. I want her to quit dragging her ass around the house because she is "incomplete" as she says. I need her to get back in touch with Tyler. She needs her to get back in touch with Tyler. Tyler needs her to get back in touch with Tyler. I believe the two of you can agree that the world would be a much more enjoyable place if Tyler and Riley were reunited and that spark landed in a bucket of gasoline." Dahlia answered.

"She can be just as deep as you, Riley." Casey pointed out.

"I know. That's part of the reason we get along so well." Riley replied.

"Riley, there are some things that we need to say to you about Tyler. She has been married to her job since she graduated the academy. She puts herself in dangerous situations where she is injured one way or another and we have been suspicious for a while that she is doing it on purpose. She goes up against guys that are three times her size. She has become an even angrier person than she was five years ago. As of this very moment she is on suspension for excessive force." Olivia explained.

"She is hurting herself?"

"We believe that she is."

"Why in the hell would she put herself in a position to be harmed in any way?" Dahlia asked.

"Because when she knew me I was still cutting myself. I used it as an outlet and now so is she."

Just as the mood had gone sour and Riley was getting ready to explode about what she had just heard about Tyler, a ringing filled the room.

"It's mine." Dahlia said.

She pulled her cell phone out of the garter around her thigh, exposing a small gun on the opposite side, and looked at Riley with serious eyes.

"Hello?" she answered. "What do you mean a man? What did he look like? Why did you answer the door? Damn it, Lyle!" she said into her phone. "Okay. Alright. Tell him that we are on our way home. Babe, you have got to comfort him. Because I can hear him crying."

With that she pushed the end button on her phone. She looked at Riley with concerned eyes and then to the two older women who sat in front of her.

"Reece..." she said quietly.

"What about Reece?"

"He had a nightmare about a man hurting you and we need to go."

Riley looked apologetically at Olivia and Casey and then got up from the table and rushed away leaving Dahlia there with the detective and the ADA.

"I'm very sorry but this night has to be cut short but I would like to invite you to dinner at our house on Friday night." she said as she pulled an ink pen and a piece of paper out of her purse. "This is the address. We eat at 630 sharp if you would care to join us. Trust me when I say you want to join us. Oh, and you should bring Tyler, too."

"It's alright. Who is Reece?" Casey asked.

"Reece is a miracle and the holder of my heart."

"You do not look old enough to have a child."

"I don't." Dahlia said and then walked away from the table.

 _ **McMahon/Westbrook Residence; Later That Night**_

"I wondered how long it would take you to come talk. You lasted about thirty minutes longer than I thought you would." Dahlia said from her bedroom.

"Do you have any fucking clue how hard and how fucking strange that was for me? I hadn't seen them in five years and then all of a sudden I drop "Hey I know it's been five years and all but I'm not really dead and I'm still in love with your daughter" on them. They are probably freaking the fuck out right about now." Riley relied.

"Well, they've got to be relieved that you're not actually dead."

"I'm sure they are but damn...I'm surprised that Casey didn't pass out right there in the floor."

"Don't act like you wouldn't have caught her, Cowboy." Dahlia said as she rolled her eyes.

"Don't hate. I was not the same person when I knew them. I wore boots literally all the time and then there was something about being in the south a lot..." Riley defended.

"No judgment here. I'm not hating on the honky tonk."

"Aren't you the one that wants to be snow the prodigy or some trap shit?"

"Um, it's the snow tha product, and she is goals. Have you seen her?"

"No, I have not. But I'm sure you're gonna show me."

"Google her. Promise you won't regret it. You're gonna show yourself because you trust my judgment. Didn't exactly picture you going for a blonde though."

"I will later I assure you. What the hell am I supposed to do now? What is my next move?"

"Your next move is dinner on Friday. I invited them yesterday. Asked if they'd bring Tyler, too."

"NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! They cannot bring Tyler!"

"Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes they can. She's the reason we moved here, Riley. Sooner or later she gonna find out. So I just picked sooner. You're welcome."

"I fucking hate you right now."

"Bet you fucking love me in the morning when I've got coffee and breakfast."

"We have my creamer?"

"Lyle went grocery shopping this morning."

"Kiss him for me...actually, scratch that. I'll kiss him for me."

"Pause! That mouth is mine. Plus, you know the thought of kissing a boy makes you wanna gag." Dahlia said with a smile.

"True that...you kiss him for me but I do not want to hear y'all."

"You haven't heard us since that time he bruised my cervix."

"And I still believe I need to consult a therapist about that traumatizing event."

"If I don't get therapy, neither do you."

"This is why we have each other."

"What you said. So, you gonna do a big reveal with Tyler? We should let her think she won some sort of prize and be like BOOM! The love of your life is still breathing. Best. Prize. Ever."

"What the fuck am I going to say to her? What the fuck am I going to do? What the fuck am I going to wear?"

"I'd say surprise! You're gonna kiss her. And by the end of the night, you won't be wearing anything. How long has it been since you've gotten laid?"

"Um...five years..." Riley mumbled.

"Oh dear God."

"Yeah...she was my last. And with any luck she will be my next and my last."

"Which is why I told the cop and the lawyer to bring her! Speaking of that, you now it's a big deal for me to have them in my house."

"Yes I do know it's a big deal. Honestly, I'm surprised as hell that you invited them at all. I doubt they would bust you or Lyle but let's just call it a smoke break to be on the safe side, yeah?"

"Yes, mother. I'll have Lyle hide the bong."

"Probably a good plan. Speaking of tall, dark, and tattooed...where is he?"

"In the basement sketching my new thigh piece." Dahlia answered proudly.

"Is he still planning on doing my half sleeve? We have been talking about it since forever."

"I'm sure he is. Ask him. He doesn't bite anyone but me."

"Noted. D...am I doing the right thing by coming back into their lives?" Riley asked with her head held down, mentally second guessing herself.

"Definitely. It's time for your fairytale to start." Dahlia answered honestly.

"So, I guess Friday night I will be jumping in head first then?"

"I'll take her on a smoke break with me first. She'll be fine then."

"She is a cop!" Riley nearly yelled.

"Only when she is wearing a badge!" Dahlia countered.

"Not for her or Olivia or Casey. They are always their jobs."

"I'd kill someone."

Riley laughed out loud. "That's why you got a trap nigga!"

"Exactly!"

"You know what?" Riley asked her friend.

"What?"

"I am going to get my fairytale started. I love her. It's clear that she still loves me and I'm going to get her back...right after the shock wears off."

"There we go!"

"I'm going to bed...actually I'm going to put my headphones in and stare blankly at the ceiling while words float around unrestricted in my mind."

"I'm going to the basement. Tattoo time!" Dahlia said excitedly.

"I still hate you." Riley teased.

"You won't say that in the morning. Pancakes and coffee always change your mind."

"It's not fair that you know my weakness!"

"Life isn't fair, buttercup. At least you're alive."

"Because of you I am alive...and very well fed." Riley joked.

"And don't you forget it!" Dahlia said triumphantly.

"You won't let me!"

"That's the point!"

"Go see your man. I'm going to brood. I better have my coffee cup waiting for me in the morning!" Riley called as she entered her bedroom.

"I've got your back!" Dahlia called over her shoulder.

"You better!"

"Go to sleep! I've got ink therapy to attend to! See you in the morning!"

"You, too!" Riley yelled before closing her bedroom door.

 _ **Westbrook/McMahon Residence; The Following Morning**_

"Coffee and pancakes as promised." Dahlia greeted her friend.

"Coffee...coffee good." Riley replied.

"Hey, the pancakes are worth the greeting, too!" Lyle announced happily filling his mouth with the syrup covered goodness.

"This is why I love him." Dahlia said under her breath. "So, what is on your agenda for today, Cowboy?"

"I am never going to live that down, am I?" Riley asked.

"Cowboy? Oh, hell no. That one is going to stick until the end of time." Dahlia said with a shit eating grin.

"Fine. I guess I can get used to that again. As far as what I'm doing today...I plan on doing some cleaning and at some point before Friday you and I need to go shopping."

"Shopping?" Dahlia asked with a confused expression.

"Yes, shopping." Riley answered.

"Shopping with me?" Dahlia asked with a now halfway excited tone to her voice.

"Yes, shopping with you. I know that you are not going to let me meet the love of my life for the first time in five years looking like a bum."

"Shopping makes my heart happy...makes Lyle's wallet sad though." Dahlia said with a pretend sad face

"Very sad but damn does she look good in what she buys." Lyle chimes in.

"Clearly...damn good. I mean bitch wears eyeliner so sharp she could slit a man's throat." Riley added.

"I'm proud of these eyeliner skills! And I've had to slit a throat or two in my day."

"Now...back to this shopping expedition..."Riley said in an attempt to change the subject.

"I'm excited about this!" Dahlia said as she did her version of a happy dance.

"We can tell...so, when, where, will we be having lunch?" Riley asked.

"The galleria. Later today. How about that new pizza place? You know I love carbs."

"You love working the carbs off with tall, dark, and tattooed over there." Riley replied as she pointed at Lyle who was still stuffing his face with pancakes.

"You got that right! Every. Damn. Day." Dahlia said proudly.

"I. Have. Noticed." Riley replied.

"Soon we'll be hearing you...or maybe Tyler...I can hear it now 'take me, Cowboy.'" Dahlia said playfully.

"Never once has she said 'take me, Cowboy'. Now, you may hear 'ride it, Cowboy!'." Riley replied happily.

"Either way you're getting laid and I'm happy about it."

"You and me both. Before all that though, we have to survive Friday night."

"After all that we've been through, Friday will be a cake walk. You'll look like a bad bitch. I'll cook a badass dinner. All will be right in the world. Trust me." Dahlia said confidently.

"I do trust you. I trust you completely. That does not stop me from being terrified. She has a gun. What if she fucking shoots me or some crazy shit?"

"If she shoots you I'll gut her like a fucking fish." Dahlia said with anger now churning in her gut at the thought of someone harming her best friend.

"Babe, no one is getting shot. Calm down." Lyle added to the conversation.

"I know no one is getting shot unless I do the shooting." Dahlia said as a fact.

"I'm going to need you to not shoot the person that I'm in love with or her parents." Riley threw in the conversation.

"As long as they don't pull theirs, I won't pull mine."

"And this is why I love you." Riley said to her best friend.

"That and the fact that I make your ass breakfast, lunch, and dinner."

"Food is of importance. Does the body good and all that jazz."

"You know what else does the body good? Coffee and marijuana. I think I'll go get my pipe." Dahlia said with her signature "I'm a badass and I know it" smile.

"And I think I'm going to go have a shower to get ready for our oh so exciting shopping trip!" Riley said in a very fake tone.

 _ **The Galleria; 3:35 pm**_

Riley was already tired of this evil that everyone else in the world considered fun; shopping. She felt like she had tried on and modeled fifty different pairs of pants, one hundred and fifty different shirts, and even twenty five different pairs of shoes. Dahlia seemed to be enjoying the fact that Riley was suffering through this expedition. Never in the five years that they had known each other had Riley ever voluntarily gone to a store to look at clothes for herself. This Tyler must really mean everything to Riley if she was still trying on clothes three hours later.

"Could you at least try on a pair of pants that fit you correctly?" Dahlia asked pleadingly.

"That depends on what your definition of correctly is." Riley answered.

"You have hips! You put on pants, they disappear."

"So you want me to wear pants that fit?"

"Is that not what I just said?"

"Not a snowball's chance in hell." Riley answered with a shit eating grin plastered on her face.

"Why the hell not?" Dahlia asked in an aggravated tone

"Because that's not me...like at all!" Riley answered just as aggravated.

"You're the most difficult person to shop with. EVER!" Dahlia said as she rolled her eyes playfully.

"Well no shit, Sherlock. Otherwise I could do this myself. I did, however, request your presence so that I could use your expertise in this area." Riley said with her signature smirk.

"My expertise says that your pants could be a little tighter but I know how you are. We've got one more store to go to and then I'll leave you be."

"As long as we find a new outfit, I'm perfectly alright with that."

 _ **Westbrook/ McMahon Residence Friday Morning**_

"I told you that these pants were a bad idea." Riley said as she stood in front of the mirror on her closet door as her best friend sat on her bed.

"These pant's are great, actually. You actually look like you have hips and legs and a tiny bit of a butt." Dahlia joked.

"This is in no way amusing. I need to feel space between the denim and my ass. I need pockets that my phone and my wallet will actually fit in. I need room to breathe. Is that really too much to ask for?" Riley asked with a pout on her face.

"Riley, change your damn pants already. It's not that big of a deal."

"Not that big of a deal? This is Casey, Olivia, and Tyler fucking Benson that we are talking about here! This is the biggest damn deal! This is the girl that I love. This is the parents of the girl that I love. This is the moment that I have been getting preached at about for the past two years. This is the sooner rather than the later that you made happen." Riley said honestly.

"This Tyler person better be worth all of this, you know that? She better be amazing and she better make you happy. I swear if she doesn't..."

"I know, you will end her. I got that."

"Yes I will. Now, change your damn pants and let's start getting things ready, okay? You good?" Dahlia asked.

"Yeah...I'm okay. I'll be down there in a few minutes." Riley answered quietly.

"Hey, you do not get to sit up here and get lost in your head while you think about every possible way that this could go wrong. You got that? No brooding today. I am not allowing that today." Dahlia replied seeing the look in Riley's eyes.

"Yes, ma'am."

"Don't ma'am me, Cowboy!"

"Yes, ma'am." Riley said with her smirk on her lips.


	23. Friday Night Part 1

_**McMahon/Westbrook Residence**_

Friday night had finally arrived. This was it. This was the night that Tyler would find out that Riley was not dead. This was the night that Tyler would either flip out entirely or she would and Riley would fall back into the love that they had shared five years ago like nothing had ever happened. Of course, Riley hoped with every ounce of her being that Tyler would not lose her mind and that they could just pick up where they had left off. She hoped that Tyler would just accept that she was not dead and had been forced to leave against her will. She hoped that Tyler would be understanding if nothing else.

Riley had been running around like a chicken with her head cut off the entire day. She had cleaned every inch of the house, she had done every piece of dirty laundry including Lyle's which she normally did not do, she had polished all of the silver that would be used at dinner, and she had gone through at least five different outfits since she finished her cleaning rampage. Dahlia and Lyle could not do anything but laugh under their breath at their friends expense. She had never been this out of it in the five years that they had known her. Seeing this side of Riley was both comical and slightly unnerving to say the least.

"Dude, you have been running non-stop for nearly eight hours. Would you like a cigarette or a drink or maybe to take a damn breath?" Dahlia asked as Riley walked past her for the ten thousandth time.

"I do not have time to smoke or drink or breathe. In case you haven't noticed I am freaking the fuck out right about now." Riley replied.

"We've noticed. I need you to come sit. We must converse."

Riley moped across the room and sat at the bar that faced into the luxurious kitchen where Dahlia was preparing the meal for the upcoming dinner that night.

"Before you say anything, I really just need to go finish cleaning the table and the chairs. It will take me ten minutes tops." Riley said as she stood from her seat.

"Nope! Sit down! Now!"

Riley exhaled and sat back down like she was told.

"Riley, why did we pack up all of our stuff and move back here?"

"Because I kept hounding you about getting back here..." Riley answered hesitantly not knowing where this was going.

"Yes and why were you hounding me about getting back?"

"Because I wanted to get back to where Tyler was..."

"And why did you want to get back to where Tyler was?"

"Because I am head over heels in love with her. Because even after all of the time I spent without her, my love for her never faltered or faded. Because one time in every person's miserable existence on this shit hole of a planet they meet one person that makes their life a little bit lighter, their mind a little more at ease, their heart a little less heavy, and their existence worth it and Tyler is that person for me. Because she is my one and only. Because when we went to prom, I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life loving her and I needed to get that back."

"Riley, I want you to search that dark and fucked up place that you call your mind and I want you to look for the reasons why you feel the way you do about this girl. When you find them I want you to tell me exactly what they are and I want you to tell me word for word. I know that you have the ability to be a very deep, compassionate, loving person and I want you to use all of that to answer me. Why do you feel all of the ways that you do about Tyler Jane Benson?"

Riley stared off past her best friend as she pondered what had just been said. She bit her lip and nodded a small nod to indicate that she understood. With that nod, she was dismissed to go get ready for the dinner that would be taking place in a little over an hour.

 _ **McMahon/ Westbrook Residence; Friday Night; 6:15 pm**_

A knock on the front door sounded like cannon fire to Riley's ears. This was what she had been waiting five years for. This was the moment that she would see Tyler and Tyler would actually see her, too. This was the moment when Riley would look into those jade green eyes of the girl that she knew was her soul mate. This was the moment...

Riley wasn't going to lie; she was beyond terrified. She was terrified of the reaction that she would get from Tyler. She was terrified that Tyler would not be able to accept the fact that Riley was not dead or that she would not be able to accept everything that had changed over the past five years.

Dahlia answered the front door and greeted the people on the other side. Lyle took their coats as the air was brisk that particular night.

"Casey, Olivia, this is Lyle. He is my main squeeze...for the moment." Dahlia introduced with a wink to her man.

Casey and Olivia shook his hand.

"Tyler isn't with you..." Dahlia pointed out.

"No, not yet. She had some sort of paperwork to do but she said that she will be here soon. She sends her apologies." Casey answered the silent question.

"Where's Riley?" Olivia asked.

"Oh, she is just finishing up with getting ready. She has been getting ready for the entire day basically. I have never seen her clean this much at one time in the five years I have known her. Honestly, I haven't ever seen her this..." Dahlia trailed off.

"Terrified." Olivia finished for her.

"Yes...in a way I feel bad for her because she is out of her mind with fear but at the same time I'm beyond glad that she is finally going to see Tyler up close and personal. I want nothing more than for my best friend to be happy. Ever since I met her, there has been something missing from her heart and her soul and her eyes. When she talks about Tyler and the memories that she lives on, her eyes start to light up but then that light dies out again. I do not like that part. Tyler completes Riley and I need my best friend's pieces to be put back together. After everything that she has been through and all of the changes that she has had to make...she deserves to be happy." Dahlia said.

"She does deserve to be happy. Riley deserves happiness more than anyone that I know or I have ever known. I know my daughter and I know that she is not going to take this very well. She is going to be disbelieving and then she will doubt and sometime later she will accept that Riley is in fact alive. I need you to understand that this is not going to go smoothly at all. Tyler is going to be...she is going to flip shit." Casey warned.

"I don't expect her to accept this and to fall back into loving arms."

"That's good. I'm glad you accept reality."

"Lady, reality is all I've ever known."

Casey, Olivia, Dahlia, and Riley all sat down at the dining room table decorated meticulously with candles, fine china, polished silver, and crystal. Dahlia had prepared an alfredo pasta with a Caesar salad and red wine. She made white chocolate cheesecake with raspberry for desert.

The women were just about to start on their desert when there was another knock on the front door. Dahlia looked at Riley. All of the color had drained from her face, there were beads of sweat forming on her forehead, and her eyes were fixed on a knife that lay in front of her on the table. Dahlia excused herself from the table, grabbed the knife as she walked past Riley, and went to open the front door.

"Hello. You must be Tyler. My name is Dahlia McMahon. It's truly an honor to meet you."

"Hi...um, I'm looking for Casey and Olivia Benson. They are here, right?" Tyler said cautiously.

"They are. Right this way."

Riley could hear the footsteps approaching and without a second thought she bolted from the table and into the kitchen.

Just as the swinging kitchen door came to a halt. Dahlia and Tyler entered the dining room.

"Um...does someone want to tell me what the hell is going on here?" Tyler asked as she looked around and saw the elegant dinner and the girl that she had never seen before in her life having dinner with her moms.

"Tyler, I think you need to sit down." Casey said softly.

Tyler locked eyes with Casey and then with Olivia and finally with Dahlia. She took a deep breath in and then took a seat at the table.

"Five years ago you graduated from Valley High School with your two best friends and the girl that you had fallen in love with. After receiving your diploma and putting on a grand performance, Riley Westbrook went into the restroom of the school Cafeteria and when you went to check on her, you found her lying in the floor in a pool of her own blood. Riley died in that bathroom floor as your tears fell onto her body and your hand held tightly to hers." Dahlia said.

"Is there any particular reason you are sitting there and telling me things that are both painful to relive but also that I already know?" Tyler snapped.

"Hey, D, I just got..." a very familiar voice said but trailed off as she entered the dining room.

"Alex Cabot..." Tyler said under her breath.

"Tyler..." Alex said sadly.

"What in the hell are you doing here?" Tyler asked angrily.

"I...um...I'm sorry that I haven't kept in touch. I have been extremely busy over the past few years."

"Five years, Alex. It hasn't been a few years. It has been five fucking years. The last time I saw you we put...we buried her. Why in the fuck am I seeing you now? Why in the fuck are you here?" Tyler asked as the rage grew in her green eyes. "I didn't think that I would ever have to see you again. I didn't want to see you again. Everything that happened to her was your fault."

"Tyler..." Casey tried but received a glare from her daughter in return.

"You abandoned her which put her in foster care. Foster care introduced her to the Collins Clan. The Collins Clan introduced her to the mob lifestyle. The mob lifestyle introduced her to several near death experiences which led to her getting out which led to her nearly being killed again. It is your fucking fault that she isn't here now! She is gone and it is all your goddamn fault! She is gone! I lost her because of your goddamn choices!"

"You also met her because of the way Riley's life played out. When she got out of the Collin's Clan, she came here and that is where she met you. She was attracted to you. She fell in love with you. She wanted to spend forever with you." Alex argued.

"And that got taken away from me! My heart has been shattered for five mother fucking years! I have to live without her. I can't touch her or hear her voice or run my fingers through her hair! And the hardest fucking part is that I can still feel her like she is still here. I can still smell her cologne. I can still hear her voice faintly telling me that she loves me. I still see her but just as fast as she is there she is gone again. I can't let go of her because I feel her here with me still."

"That's because she is." a voice said from behind Tyler.

Olivia, Casey, Dahlia, and Alex looked behind Tyler to see Riley standing there in front of the kitchen door. Not a single person in that room knew what to expect next. Every set of eyes bounced from Riley to Tyler and then back again.

Tyler looked like she was about to go into cardiac arrest. Her face was pale, her hands were clenched into tight fists, her lip quivered, and her eyes were wide open.

"It's the way that she looks at me and sees right into my soul. She sees the real me that I spent so long and tried so desperately to hide from everyone. It's the way she can set my skin on fire with a brush of her hand. It's the way she makes my heart skip a beat and race and then calm it back down again. It's the way she makes me feel so alive when all I have ever really felt was dead inside. It's the way she knows my demons and the skeletons in my closet and she loves me anyway. I love every single thing about her from the way she leaves the cap off of the toothpaste to the way she ironed my shirts. I have loved her for a long time and that is never going to change." Riley said as she looked at her best friend answering the question that she was asked earlier that day.

"Forever?" Tyler mumbled under her breath.

"And always." Riley said hearing what her angel had whispered.

Tyler slowly stood and even more slowly turned to face the voice that she had longed to hear for five years. Olivia watched with fear consuming her mind and excitement filling her heart. Dahlia looked on as her best friend was about to look the girl that she loved in the eye for the first time in five years with happiness overtaking her. Casey's eyes were filled with tears and her cheeks were stained with those that had already fallen as her hand covered her mouth. Alex felt fear tugging at her mind but she felt relief pulling against the fear. Tyler closed her eyes and turned until she decided she should be facing the person standing behind her. She stopped, took in a deep breath, and then opened her eyes. Her jade green eyes met with a pair of muddy water brown. Her breath caught in her throat as she looked Riley up and down. From the black and white Converse on her feet to the black straightened hair on her head. The dark blue jeans, the metallic grey button down, the eye liner and the lip ring were just as she remembered them. Five years, 1825 days, 43800 hours, 262800 minutes, and 15780000 seconds of waiting and wishing and hoping that she would see her cowboy again had all led up to this.

"Riley..." Tyler whispered.

"Hello, angel." Riley said softly.

"It's really you?"

"It's really me."

"How..."

"Because you and me...it's written in the stars. We are meant to be. I have loved you for so long and I am going to love you every second from now on."

"You were dead...I watched...you die." Tyler whispered as the painful memory played in her mind.

"I died in the bathroom floor with Warner holding pressure on my wounds and you holding my hand. But, they got me into the ambulance and they were able to get me back. I got to the hospital and they had to rush me to surgery and as soon as I was stable enough to be transported, they moved me to California via helicopter. When I came to, I was surrounded by men in suits that kept calling me Catherine. They explained to me that I was now in the Witness Protection Program and as the days turned to weeks, I memorized my new back story and name and everything that they had changed about me." Riley said but she could see the shock still on Tyler's face. "I can explain all of that later. Right now I just want you to be okay with all of this."

"Okay with the fact that I have been living under the impression that you have been dead for five years? Okay with the memory of the light going out in your eyes and the grip you had on my hand disappearing? Okay with the blood on my hands and arms and legs that had spilled from your body? Okay with standing up in front of all of the people that attended your funeral and saying all of those things? Okay with every one sided conversation that I have had with you over the past five years? Okay with all of the tears that I cried and the nights that I spent laying in my bed holding your pillow and begging you to come back to me? Okay with the fact that you are standing in front of me right now with breathing lungs and a beating heart?" Tyler asked in an angry tone of voice.

"Yes..."Riley nearly whispered.

Tyler took a step toward the dark haired girl which made Dahlia go in to instant best friend protective mode. She clenched her fists tightly and watched every twitch and every blink that Tyler made. Olivia, Casey, and Alex all watched frozen to their positions. Riley stood three feet from Tyler with her eyes locked on Tyler's. This was the no turning back point. This was the point of no return. It was now or never.

Tyler took another step bringing herself and Riley only two feet apart. It was clear that she was angry and hurt but there was something in her eyes that was completely different. There was a small, very small glint of happiness. It was like a bonfire that had been raging for hours had burned down to nothing but buried embers and one of those embers could be seen in her green eyes. Within the muddy water brown of eyes of Riley glistened hope but with the girl she loved standing before her, love raged within them as well.


End file.
